A Shock to the System
by BilliCullen
Summary: Edward and Bella meet on a blind date.  It's hate at first sight.  Can unforeseen circumstances show them what they missed?
1. Chapter 1

Thanks to my awesome beta's PixieKat7 and GrayMatters for signing on for another ride with me.  
Any errors you see will be all mine.  
By the way, I cuss, a lot, if that offends, please stop reading now because after this prologue, they FLY!

Also thanks for Nikita2009 and Katinki for pre-reading for me.

**Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight related characters you see below. The words are mine.**

**Prologue**

I was in so much trouble here. How could it be? What should I do? How would I handle this potentially problematic development?

Jesus Christ, I couldn't believe it, if you would've told me I would've felt this way about that pretentious asshole six months ago, I would've looked at you like you had grown another head while simultaneously telling you _'no fucking way, it will never happen!'_

And yet... there I was, looking into the blue-green eyes of the biggest, fakest, overdone piece of work I'd ever had the misfortune of meeting.

And God help me, I think I was falling in love with him... I wanted him, I needed him, I had to have him.

I know someone, somewhere, was trying to play a cruel joke on me. That was the only answer I could come up with. Things like this just don't happen, not to me anyway, I'm smart, savvy and in total control of my life.

I, Bella Swan, career woman, all around planning, thinking, scheduling and regimented person, could not possibly be falling for Edward "Look at me, aren't I fabulous?" Cullen.

Fuck my life... I was so screwed and not in a way I was going to enjoy.

At least not yet.

I know, I know, it was short, a tease if you will. The next chapter will post Monday or Tuesday this week... you do want to know more right?


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to my awesome beta's PixieKat7 and GrayMatters for agreeing to help my sorry ass again with this story.  
Any errors you see below will be all mine.  
By the way, I cuss, a lot, if that offends, please stop reading now!  
Fuck count= a meager 10, I'ma have to try harder in chapter 2 huh?

Also thanks to Nikita2009 and Katinki for pre-reading for me.

A couple of fic recs for you: An Undefined Affair by Jayhawkbb (it is fucking brilliant!) and Watermark by Jay's World

**Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight related characters you see below. The words are mine.**

Chapter One

My best friend Angela and her husband Ben were always trying to set me up on blind dates. They always told me they wanted me to find someone special and settle down, be happy like they were. I didn't think it was possible, I just never managed to find "the one".

Angela told me it was because I was too picky. I don't know, maybe she was right, but honestly, is it so wrong to want my intellectual equal? Someone who could keep up with me, stimulate my brain and not fall into the grunting non communicating chasm of couples who stop conversing and just sit watching mindless television shows getting stuck in the proverbial rut of life. I know I didn't want or need that, how boring. I'd rather be alone, just me and my vibrator, before I'd succumb to some stupid relationship based on nothingness for the sake of a good fuck. No thanks, I'll fucking pass.

I was twenty-six, I was smart, had a college degree and a great job in an software engineering firm in downtown Seattle. I had a beautiful condo in the Queen Anne area, walking distance to all the downtown sights and sounds. My life was perfection. The only thing missing, in Angela and Ben's opinion, was a man.

I was constantly telling them not to worry, I was happy, I didn't need what they had. Their insistence grew worse once Angela got pregnant. Now she was about a month away from delivery and her maternal instincts were in high gear.

Angela had been yapping in my ear for about a year now about some guy Ben was always talking about, his new 'bestie' from work. Some douchewaffle named Edward Cullen. With a name like Edward, the dude probably wore hideous clothes and dumb shoes. It's the damn twenty-first century for fuck's sake, who names their kid Edward? I didn't know, but, I wasn't interested in him based on his name alone. Strike one, if you know what I mean. Ben just called him Cullen, so obviously even he had a problem with the name Edward.

I guess 'Cullen' worked with Ben at the Seattle Times, he was a writer, a reporter, a jack of all trades. Ben was smitten. Ang said it was like if Edward was a chick instead of a dude, Ben would so be banging him. She of course said this with a laugh, we teased Ben constantly about his insane need to go on and on about Cullen.

One day over lunch, Angela told me she and Ben had been talking about hooking me up with Cullen. Oh hell no, I was not going down that road again. They were always trying to set me up. It never worked, never.

The last time they set me up it was with some dickwad Ben met through an advertising salesman who worked at the Times. The dude had a freaking patchwork leather coat for fuck's sake and he was about five foot nothing. Now I don't mind being taller than my date, if they haven't got the need to stand on their tip toes when they walk or rave incessantly about how awesome they are in the sack. This guy told me he could be in porn, his cock was so big and didn't I want to see it to believe it. I excused myself to the restroom and called Ang with an S.O.S. She and Ben miraculously showed up and saved me from a fate worse than death. Jesus, no more blind fucking dates!

That was why when she suggested Cullen I replied, "Ang, sweetie, I know you mean well, but I swear by all that is holy, I do NOT want to get set up on a date ever again. I'm good babe," I was clearly panicked as I picked through my salad, trying like hell to avoid looking at her face for fear of her manipulation tactics.

"Bella, come on... please...," she leaned down to get eye level with me as she pouted and batted her eyelashes.

God damn, what a piece of work. She knew I couldn't refuse that face, especially when she rubbed her hand over her cute baby belly like a desperate woman making her last wish on a fucking magic lamp. I should've kept my eyes averted, dammit!

"Cullen, Ang? Really? Come on, you said yourself, he's a little_ 'rough'_, " I whined, staring hard into her brown orbs, praying to whatever deity would listen. I so did NOT want to succumb and go on this fucking date. She had told me at one time she thought Cullen was anti-social. I didn't need that shit.

"Bellaaaa... come on! One date, what can it hurt? If you don't like him, you'll never have to see him again, Ben and I will even have you for dinner so you won't be alone with him. Come on, say yes. Puhleeeeese!" she begged, her hands clasped together under her chin, her face sweet and cherub-like.

"Besides, he's been around our house a lot lately Bella, he's a sweetheart, an absolute doll. Oh and did I mention? Yeah, he's easy on the eyes, I see why Ben wants to make him his 'girl'," she added playfully, as she giggled and fanned herself.

Angela and Ben were my best friends, they were everything to me. We were the same age and all had similar backgrounds, no family. My, Angela and Ben's families were all gone, not one living relative. They were both orphaned as children, met at seventeen in a group foster care home and got married two years later. I had lost my dad, Charlie, to cancer two years earlier, my Mom had died when I was eight. Angela and Ben were my family. Cullen, on the other hand, apparently came from a large family. They had all opened their hearts and homes to Angela and Ben, lavishing baby gifts onto them constantly.

That was another strike against Cullen in my book. He came from money. He had no clue what it meant to work hard for your money or how to make a paycheck stretch from payday to payday. My Dad and I made things work on his cop's salary, we knew how to make a dollar stretch. I was sure Cullen was a rich, pretentious asshole and I hated people like him on principle alone. The guy was obviously clueless on how life worked.

"Ang, babe, please don't make me do this... I can't go on a date with Cullen, I just can't," I groaned, looking anywhere but at her eyes. God help me if I looked in her eyes she would use her magic preggo mama juju on me and make me agree to the date.

She started in on me all tough and stern, "Bella! Dammit! You _ARE_ going to come for dinner, it won't be a date, it will just be you and Cullen with Ben and I and we'll just be casual, no expectations I promise. If you aren't having fun you can always leave before dessert, but you should know though...Ben is making his famous gingerbread cake and lemon sauce for the baby and I," but by the end of her tirade she was sing-songing at me with a smirk on her gorgeous face.

"You know how much you like that...," she trailed off, grinning widely.

How can one pregnant woman be such a pain in my ass? How dare she appeal to my sugar addiction. That was blackmail dammit!

"FINE! I'll come," I said petulantly, as I huffed and crossed my arms across my chest and gave her an exasperated frown.

"YAY!" she squealed, clapping her hands together in glee. "I swear Bella, you're going to love Edward, he is so sweet and so fucking delicious looking. You're gonna want to have HIM for dessert!" she added excitedly, her eyes dancing in delight.

Angela's warm laughter washed over me. I would do anything for her and she knew it.

I shook my head at her. "You look like a damn seal woman! Knock it off!" I said biting my cheek, trying not to laugh at her insanity. God it was so easy to make her happy. Fuck. It looked like I had a damn date with the pretentious rich asshole.

"Okay Bella, this Friday, it is a date! Errr, I mean a dinner, yeah a dinner, not a date! Good freaking God, not a damn date!" she said sarcastically with a roll of her eyes.

"I can't wait to tell Ben, he'll be so excited, he's been telling Cullen he needed to hook up with you for ages. They've been friends for over a year now and it makes Ben crazy that you and Edward haven't met yet. Our two best friends should meet right? I mean come on, you guys are perfect for each other, Ben has been saying it for months," she said, as her breath whooshed out, her lack of oxygen clearly ending her spiel, it seemed her verbal diarrhea was never ending today.

"Jesus Ang, take a freaking breath why don't you? I wouldn't want your lack of oxygen to effect the baby or anything," I answered sarcastically, rolling my eyes at her, adding, "I told you I will come for dinner, as far as Cullen and I being perfect for each other, I find that highly doubtful, he is clearly not my type, but, I'll do it for you. Dammit, you tell Ben I want an extra big piece of that cake for doing this, I'll need the sugar to maintain my loving personality."

"Oh Bella, knock it off, don't be such a bitch. You know you're curious about Cullen, if you weren't, you'd have blown me off quicker than shit," Angela said mockingly, with a quirk of her brow.

"Oh, I'll admit to being curious, but I feel not one iota of attraction based on all of our conversations regarding Cullen in the past. I don't see how you think we're _'perfect' _for each other but then again, I don't necessarily think there's anyone perfect for me, so it really doesn't matter," I offered softly.

"See Bella, that's the thing - that comment is exactly why Ben and I want you to find someone. We just want you to be happy like we are and since you make no effort to find someone on your own, we must help you along. Ben actually thinks you and Cullen have the same problem. You're too picky, you don't think you need anyone, you aren't looking, blah, blah, blah,... you need to meet, he is sweet, good looking, smart and has a great job. I know you will enjoy talking with him and he'll make you laugh. The guy is hysterical," she said firmly, gazing at me intently, the love for me clearly showing in her eyes.

"Okay Ang, I promise I won't be a bitch. I will show up with my game face on and be the nice friend you and Ben want me to be. I promise to treat Cullen like a king, but I swear to you, if he ends up being a dick, I may never forgive you!"

"Thank you Bella, I am so excited! I can't wait to tell Ben you agreed, he will be stoked too," she said excitedly as she bounced up and down in her seat.

"All right then, what time on Friday and what should I wear?" I asked, my eyebrow raised.

"Come casual, we'll barbecue, but you need to be there by six though, so you can enjoy cocktail hour, relax and get to know Cullen," she said, trying to tone down her obvious excitement.

"Okay then, I'll be there at six. I meant what I said though, you tell Ben I want a big-ass piece of that cake, I'll deserve it I'm sure!" I said firmly.

"Oh, by the way, please for the love of God, tell me he does NOT wear a patchwork leather jacket?" I asked, jokingly.

"Oh Bella, as if," Ang said sarcastically, rolling her eyes at me.

We finished our meal and I left the restaurant wondering how the fuck this all happened. I ended up saying yes, when I wanted to say no, to a date with a guy who I knew would be a dead end. Well, the only, and I mean the only thing I was going to enjoy was the damn dessert!

**A/N:** I plan on updating every 7-10 days. I hope you'll all enjoy the story.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks to my awesome beta's PixieKat7 and GrayMatters.  
Any errors you see below will be all mine.  
Again, I cuss, a lot, if that offends you please stop reading now!  
Fuck count= 18  
Just an FYI: My B&E are very OOC!

Also thanks to Nikita2009 (read her stuff) and Katinki (truly a goddess, read her stuff too) for pre-reading for me, they are both invaluable to me.

A fic rec for you: Tangled by teamhybrid, check it out.

**Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight related characters you see below. The words are mine.**

**Chapter Two**

Ang had called me at least ten damn times in the past two days reminding me of my promise to come for dinner at their house tonight, not to mention bugging me incessantly at work about it too. Now she wanted me there earlier so Ben could give me a '_Cullen run-down_'. Whatever the fuck that meant.

I was nervous. I hated fix ups and usually avoided them like the plague. I was always uptight because you don't want to upset your friends who are doing the fixing up, but on the other hand, if you don't mesh with someone you don't mesh with them. You can't make things happen that aren't meant to be.

I had been involved with someone long ago who ripped my heart to pieces, and I just didn't know if I could go down that path again. I was happy alone. I knew I could depend on myself and honestly I was fine with that.

I didn't ever want to put myself in the position I'd been in when Jake left me. It was bad enough he left me, but he left me for another man for fuck's sake. I wasn't sure my ego could take something like that again. Do you have any idea what happens when you get dumped and your ex goes for someone of the same sex? People automatically think that you should've known your partner was gay. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, let me tell you, you do NOT always know. I hadn't a clue. That had been a real eye opener for certain and totally changed my approach to relationships.

I finished getting ready, smoothing my brown hair down, catching the frizzies with some hairspray. I put on some light make up, blush, lip gloss and mascara. I studied my appearance critically in the mirror. I considered myself average-looking, sometimes a little mousy. I did have nice high cheekbones and full lips, and my brown eyes were pretty in the right light. My figure wasn't too thin or too thick- in other words I wasn't skinny and I wasn't fat. I did have nice tits though, if I did say so myself.

I wondered what Cullen would think of me and realized, shrugging my shoulders, that it didn't matter what he thought, I had no one to impress after all. This date that wasn't a date was all about cake, gingerbread cake with lemon sauce to be exact. Nummy, I could hardly wait for dessert!

I pulled on my old ratty Levi's, black Billy Idol vintage t-shirt and high top black Chuck Taylors. Angela would have a fit, and that thought made me grin - oh it was going to be so much fun to mess with her! Of course Ben would see right through me, he always does.

Angela had begun her maternity leave from work. Today had been her last day, and we had thrown her a small going away party. She was going to be a stay at home mom for the baby's first year. I couldn't imagine what that would be like, so self sacrificing, I wasn't sure I would be able to do it. I was going to miss working with her every day, she was my light there. I hadn't believed my luck at us both getting a job with the same software firm, because it made going to work every day much more enjoyable.

As I made my way to their West Seattle home, I thought about how smart she and Ben were. They had purchased their home six years ago at below market value and she and Ben had painstakingly re-done almost the entire thing inside. It was lovely and quaint and Angela told me they had recently paid the loan off so she could stay home. I can't imagine how that must feel, outright owning your own home at the ripe old age of twenty six. I only leased my condo, I didn't want the commitment of home ownership. Not now, I wanted to be free and easy. Ben told me once, they bought their house cheap knowing they could afford something more but they knew they wanted to start a family and Angela wanted to be home with the babies they planned on having. They were able to pay a huge down payment and then doubled their house payments to then pay it off in six years, astounding. It was in a delightful little neighborhood full of lovely elderly people who took magnificent care of their homes and yards. The neighbors adored Ben and Angela, like most everyone they knew did.

I pulled up to the house and parked my little Honda Civic at the curb. I jumped out of the car and locked the door, making my way up the walkway. It was a lovely fall evening, the leaves were turning and Halloween was just around the corner. There were cute carved pumpkins on their stoop, smiling evilly at me as I made my way to the door. The covered porch was lit up with cute jack-o-lantern lights and leaves. There were also potted mums and spider webs all around. Angela was so crafty, it looked like Martha Stewart had come to town. I had to smile, Ben and Angela were the consummate decorators when it came to Halloween, they loved that holiday the most.

I knocked on the door and it swung open. Ben stood there grinning from ear to ear at me, his eyebrow raised in response to my wardrobe choice.

"Bells, you know she is going to kill you right?" he said seriously, his mouth twitching, trying valiantly not to gut laugh at my t-shirt, jeans and shoes.

"Yep, I know!" I answered wickedly, a cackling laugh booming out of my chest, as I walked through the door into the entryway of the house.

Ben was so cute, he was shorter than average but didn't have that short man's complex so many guys get when they aren't as tall as their buddies are. He didn't ever puff his chest out at me, didn't ever push himself up on his toes when he walked or stood, he didn't even talk extra loud or drive a big, stupid fucking truck to make up for his lack of height. Nope, he was just a great guy all around.

His dark hair was wavy and combed back to one side, he had on jeans and a white t-shirt and was holding a beer in one hand. He looked at me and inclined his head towards the beer as if to say 'want one?', which I did, badly.

I nodded to him, still smiling over my wardrobe choice and followed him into the kitchen to get my beer. I saw Angela standing there in an adorable red maternity shirt that said "Got Milk!" paired with cute little black leggings, barefoot. Her dark, almost black hair was pulled up in a high ponytail. Tonight she had on her tortoise shell glasses instead of contacts, she looked like damn a teenager. She was cutting lettuce and tomatoes for the burgers we were having and happened to glance up at me when Ben and I walked into the kitchen.

She stood motionless, her mouth in an 'O' shape at first, until it snapped closed.

Taking a deep breath she said angrily, "Jesus fucking Christ Bella, really? You had to wear the ugliest damn clothes you own? When I said casual, I didn't say retro fugly. Shit." Sarcasm dripped off her words, her eyes big and round as she stared stonily at me.

I gulped audibly, took a big swig of the beer Ben handed me and said, "Don't you look cute tonight little Mama..." It didn't work. Angela gave me the '_the look_' meaning she wasn't buying my attempt to butter her up with compliments.

She was holding a knife, I figured I'd better try to give her a compliment, appeal to her maternal nature if you will, lest she slice me open in a fit of hormonal rage.

Well, honesty is supposed to be the best policy, so I said matter-of-factly, "I wanted to be comfortable Ang, besides, it isn't a date, remember?"

"Fuck you Bella, just fuck right off," she answered back with venom in her voice. Uh oh, the little preggo mama was pissed at me. I couldn't have that, not at all.

"Look Ang, I'm sorry, I just don't want to do this, I told you I didn't want to have to go on a date. Besides look at it this way, if Cullen likes me like this, he will really like me. It is the real deal, it doesn't get much worse than this anyhow, right?" I said staring back at her, smiling softly so she knew I was sincere. I meant every word of what I said too. I was not trying to impress Cullen, not on any level. This was me, like me or not and I so hoped it was a not.

She took a deep breath, sighing deeply as she exhaled and looked to Ben for support. He just shrugged his shoulders and kissed her cheek. She looked back at me and said sarcastically, "You're such a bitch, get your ass over here and help me slice the onions, the preggo lady doesn't want to ruin _her_ make-up. Since you don't give a shit, you get to slice them and cry all over, maybe you'll even have some snot showing by the time Cullen shows up, ya think?"

I just laughed as I walked over and bumped her hip with mine, indicating she needed to move. I grabbed the knife and started slicing the onions for her as Ben grabbed another beer and leaned against the counter to talk to us as we worked.

"So Bells, I wanted to see if you have any questions about Cullen before he gets here," Ben asked me.

"Well, no, not really," I answered with a shrug, I didn't care one way or another to be truthful. I just wanted to get the night over so they would leave me alone about Cullen.

"He is a great guy Bella, you're going to like him. He has a quirky sense of humor and he comes from a wonderful family. He is one of the hardest workers I've ever known and honestly, he could totally be doing anything in the world, he is so smart, but he likes being a reporter so much that's all he wants to do," Ben said, with a slight swoon to his voice. Jesus, I detected a little hero worshiping going on here. Crap, was this guy a fucking God or something?

"Wow Ben, way to get all romantic over Cullen, are you sure _you_ don't want to date him?" I asked laughing.

"Kiss my ass Bella, he's a great guy, you're lucky he's coming to meet you, he could ha..." he trailed off, his eyes huge.

"BEN!", Angela screeched, "Stop that right now!" She was looking at him as though he'd grown another head.

"Hmmmmm... so Cullen could date anyone huh? I'm lucky huh?" I said slowly, staring at him while giving him the evil eye and pointing the knife at him.

"Sorry Bella, I was out of line there. He'd be lucky if you'd deem him good enough to date... that's what I should've said," he answered remorsefully, giving his head a shake as he looked down at his beer.

"It's okay Ben, I know what you meant. I've been busting your balls for three days now over this, it can't have been easy to deal with my shit. I promise I will be good to your friend. I know Cullen is special to you," I said softly and sincerely. It was time to play nice, I loved Ang and Ben, I could be the friend they needed tonight and make this fun, it didn't have to be awkward. I made a vow right then to be extra nice to Cullen.

Little did I know it was going to be hard to keep that promise, so very hard, in fact, it was going to be impossible.

At exactly six o'clock the doorbell rang. Uh oh, it was zero hour. Cullen had arrived and he was oh so punctual.

Ben set his beer on the kitchen counter, gave me a wink and headed to the living room to open the door and let Cullen in.

I could hear mutters of conversation, but wasn't able to discern what was being said.

Angela gave me one last glance, her eyes squinting at me with warning, her lips in a thin, straight line. She was letting me know I'd better behave myself.

I smiled at her and nodded in acknowledgment, turning myself around to face the music, if you will.

Ben came around the corner first followed by a taller guy with a shock of golden reddish brown hair peeking out from under a baseball cap. He was tall, I'd give him that.

As Ben moved to the side, I saw Cullen's face for the first time. Angela was right, he _was_ kind of pretty. He looked at me with a smile on his face, his greenish blue eyes crinkled in the corners. He had on faded Levi's and a faded blue t-shirt, casually impressive. He too was barefoot, he must've left his shoes by the front door.

He then turned to Angela, handing her a bouquet of flowers, saying extra sweetly, "Here you go pretty lady, I hope you like peonies, my Mom told me most women do."

Oh God, his Mom told him? How old was this guy? He couldn't go out and just get the flowers himself, he had to involve his mommy? I started laughing internally, a huge smirk on my face. Ben coughed and I looked over at him to see a look that told me he knew exactly where my evil mind had gone. I gave a slight nod to reassure him I was gonna play nice.

"Oh Cullen! That's so sweet! Isn't that just the sweetest thing Bella?" Angela answered him and asked me at the same time, looking over at me like a crazy woman.

"Yeah, sweet," I answered sarcastically, eyebrow raised. Fuck, this might be the longest evening of my life.

Ben chose that moment to pipe up and say, "Cullen, this is our Bella, Bella this is Cullen."

"Hi Cullen," I said, sticking my hand forward to shake his, "Nice to finally meet Ben's girlfriend." I laughed heartily after that last bit.

Cullen's mouth opened a bit, his brow furrowed as he hesitantly reached forward to take my hand, shaking it without much gusto. What a puss.

"Uh yeah, nice to meet you too Bella, I've heard a lot of nice things about you," he said, looking me in the eye but letting go of my hand and wiping it on his pant leg after he was done shaking it.

What. The. Fuck?

I wanted to ask him what his problem was after shaking my hand, but instead I slyly took a quick sniff of my hand to see if it had onion guts on it or something. Nope, I was clean and dry. Weird, maybe Cullen was a germ-a-phobe?

Angela had Ben get a vase for the flowers and we all grabbed a beer and headed out to the deck to sit down while Ben started the grill. Angela was having iced tea, no beer for the pregnant lady.

After we all grabbed a chair Ang initiated conversation between the four of us. God it was so awkward. I could see Cullen trying to sneak looks at me under his pretty eyelashes, oh Christ on a cracker, please don't tell me he is gay too? No, no, Ben would know, they were besties. I calmed myself down over that thought.

"So Cullen, what exactly do you do for the Times?" I asked, sincerely wondering what he did since he seemed to have quite a few titles at the paper.

"Well, mostly I'm the local sports reporter, I go to games and cover all sporting events in the area. I also do regular reporting as well when we do exposés on unique topics. I recently covered a story about the town of Forks being inundated by fans of those Twilight books. There was a big convention there a few weeks ago and about two hundred women showed up. Some of them got a little wild, the local sheriff told me they had to pull them over and they weren't even driving," he said laughing, then taking a big swig of his beer.

"Wait a minute? You mean the cops weren't driving? Or the women weren't driving?" I asked, my brows furrowed in confusion.

"No, the women were walking and got a bit loud, people called the station and complained so the cops went to find them to ask them to quiet down. Apparently they were a good looking group, the cops said they wished they'd gotten their numbers," he answered me, grinning widely.

"Oh, hmmm, that's... yeah, kind of funny," I said awkwardly and gave out a courtesy chuckle.

Angela looked at me darkly, clearly wishing I'd try a little harder.

"What do you do for fun Bella?" Edward asked, giving me a pointed look, one eyebrow arched.

"Well I work for the same company Angela does, I am a software engineer, which means I create computer software and make sure it works correctly," I answered.

"That's what you do for fun?" he asked me, a little snidely I might add, while he took a huge gulp of his beer and burped loudly. Ewww, disgusting. How old was he anyway?

"Well no, I don't work for fun, although I enjoy my work. I like to go the SAM, I enjoy reading and visit the library whenever I can, I..." I kind of trailed off at the end, realizing I sounded so fucking boring. "I like to spend time with Ben and Ang," I added cheerfully, trying like hell to make myself sound a little more interesting. WAIT! Why do I care?

"Ohkaaaayyy," he drawled sarcastically, I think I even noticed a little eye roll. Oh goody, Cullen was as into this as I was. Perfect, no worries, he didn't want to get fixed up with me any more than I wanted to get fixed up with him.

We started talking to Ben and Angela about the baby, a nice safe topic and that took the pressure off Cullen and I. Ben and Angela hadn't wanted to know the sex of the baby, wanted it to be a surprise and all. I totally tried talking them into finding out, I would go nutso if I was pregnant and didn't know what I was having, not that I was planning on getting pregnant anytime soon.

"We have finally narrowed down the names though," Angela said, looking at me and smiling, "If she's a girl, she will be called Claire Marie and if he's a boy, his name will be Robert Charles in honor of Bella's dad Charlie, who was like a father to Ben and I," she said, her eyes filling with tears.

I was overcome, they hadn't told me their name choices. I got tears in my eyes and smiled a watery smile, noticing Cullen staring at me. Whatever, dickwad.

"I love it Ang, Charlie would have too," I said softly, grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze.

She hugged me and Ben smiled hugely at me. Then Ben announced that the burgers were ready. We all got our plates and sat down to eat. There was no conversation, only eating, drinking and burping. Jesus, Cullen was disgusting. I halfway expected him to start scratching his nutsack pretty soon. I knew he spent time with Ben and Ang occasionally, but they didn't seem bothered with his lack of manners. I was though.

"Um, can't you say excuse me when you burp?" I finally asked him, staring daggers at him as I did.

"Oh? Does it bother your sensitive nature?" he sneered, pausing, his hand around the beer bottle, ready to consume more.

"Oh I don't know, maybe I just think it is _RUDE_?" I said back to him with as much emphasis on the word rude as I could, my eyebrow quirked in question. Then the bickering began in earnest.

"Sorrrrry... I'll try to keep it down to a minimum for you _Bella_, I wouldn't want to bother you."

"Oh goody, thanks for the effort _Cullen_, nice to know you care so much. Not."

"Whatever. You'd never know from the way you're dressed that you have a problem with burping."

"What exactly is wrong with the way I'm dressed?" I screeched, looking down at myself.

"Oh Jesus, first of all, way to put out some effort, secondly at least you could have picked a shirt with a decent musician on it. Billy Idol? Really?" he snarled at me, taking another huge drink of his beer and burping again in the process.

Oh fuck no! Those were fighting words! No one, and I mean no one, messes with my Billy!

"What. The. Fuck. Billy fuckin' Idol is a fucking god! Clearly you have no taste. Who do you like? Yanni or some shit?" I asked rudely, the pitch and tone of my voice shrill.

I saw Angela give Ben a '_oh fuck_' look, knowing my devotion to Billy Idol. Non-date was clearly over and no way in hell would there be any kind of recovering from this idiot making a mistake like this.

"I don't like _Yanni_, who the fuck does? But I do like musicians who make an impact on the world of music, like Jeff Beck or The Beatles or The Rolling Stones," he said snidely.

What a pretentious prick, I knew this was a mistake, I fucking knew it!

"I need to go Ben, Ang, I have a pain, yeah a pain and it's in my ass and that pain, it has a name. It's name is Cullen," I said venomously, scooting my chair out and standing up, not caring what he thought at that moment.

"I'm a pain in _your_ ass? That's rich, you're such a bitch, you weren't even into this at all, not from the start, why should I bother being nice and trying?" Cullen came back at me, also standing up, his voice laced with contempt, fury evident in his eyes.

I looked at his face, his beautiful fucking face and I said loudly, "Non-date is over. I'm done." I turned and looked down at an obviously shocked, still seated Ben and Angela saying softly, "Thanks for dinner guys, see you later." I threw my napkin down and turned to go but before I made it to the door I heard Cullen yell.

"I wouldn't date you if you were the last woman on the planet!"

"Perfect!" I answered back over my shoulder, "Because dating you would be worse than having someone surgically remove all my fingernails without anesthesia!" I shouted, as I continued stomping towards the front door.

I turned to look at Ang and Ben, smiled apologetically and said," I'm sorry guys, I love you both, but I really have to go. Now."

Angela looked up at me, her mouth hanging open in shock, clearly stunned by what had just gone down. Ben was staring at Cullen like he grew another head. They were both speechless.

I told them I'd call them tomorrow, rushed out to my car and tore off down the street. What a dick, what a complete dick, I cannot believe they wanted to fix me up with _that_. I was steaming mad, I swear there was smoke coming out of my ears.

I would never live this down and I was going to have to seriously do some ass kissing with Ben and Ang tomorrow, I was going to be in big trouble. Shit, how could one guy get under my skin like that?

As I sped through town like I was being chased by the demons of hell, it suddenly occurred to me, I didn't get my fucking cake! DAMMIT! One more reason to hate Cullen.

**A/N:**

The Forks story, with the po-po stopping them while they were walking, all true! That actually happened to some friends of mine recently in Forks.

By the way SAM=Seattle Art Museum.


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks to my awesome beta's PixieKat7 and GrayMatters.  
Any errors you see below will be all mine.  
Disclaimer: I cuss, a lot, if that offends you please stop reading now!  
Fuck count= 19  
Just an FYI: My B&E are very **OOC!**

Also thanks to Nikita2009 (read her stuff) and Katinki (read her stuff too) for pre-reading, they are both invaluable to me.

**Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight related characters you see below. The words are mine.**

**Chapter Three**

The next morning at exactly nine o'clock my phone rang. I looked at caller id and saw it was Angela. My heart sped up as my breathing became ragged.. Fuck, I was going to have to grovel. I fucking hated groveling.

"Hi Ang," I answered grimly, wincing like I was about to get spanked.

"Bella. What the FUCK happened to you last night? I mean seriously, since when do you behave like a ten-year old?" she asked, the hurt clear in her voice. Wow, she didn't waste any time barreling into me.

Dammit, I hated disappointing Ang and Ben, really I did. It hurt me to know that I was the cause of her pain.

"Fuck Ang, I don't know, I just... I couldn't stand the guy, that's it in a nutshell, plain and simple he just makes me so... so..." I stuttered and stammered, clearly at a loss for words.

"You know what Bella?" she interrupted me, "I just think that for one night, for me, you could've tried a little harder to get to know someone new. I realize that you and Cullen are different, but honestly, he is a terrific guy and you seriously missed an opportunity to, at the very least, make a new friend," she replied firmly.

"Ben and I love you Bella, we do, you know this. But we _cannot_ be your whole world. It isn't healthy babe, I know you've been hurt in the past, but you really need to let that guard down and let people in. Not everyone is going to hurt you," she added more softly, I could hear the emotion running through her voice, and she seemed close to tears.

Fuck, now I felt even worse than before, if that was possible. "Ang, I'm so sorry, you're right, of course you're right," I said sincerely, remorse lacing my words, "I hope my behavior didn't cause a problem between you and Cullen."

"Oh Cullen is getting an earful from Ben right now too. Both of you were behaving abhorrently last night, we've never seen anything like it. What are you guys, both like four or something?" she said disbelievingly.

"I want you to know, we plan on having a Christening for the baby and Cullen _WILL_ be there Bella and you _WILL_ have to make it work, he is the baby's godfather, you're the baby's godmother, you'll need to figure it the fuck out before then," she said to me in a no-nonsense tone of voice.

"You have my word Ang, I promise I'll make it work, I won't cause a scene, I'll dress appropriately, I won't be rude. You honestly won't need to worry," I assured her.

"Do I also have your word you won't be wearing Chuck Taylors and a Billy Idol t-shirt?" she asked playfully, repressing a laugh. See, that was one of the wonderful things about Angela and Ben, they didn't hold a grudge.

Oh God, I could just imagine her face, she was probably grinning and had her eyebrow quirked up waiting for my smart-ass reply.

I laughed loudly and said, "Oh I won't be wearing an Idol tee but I can fucking guarantee that the baby is going to have one on!"

She started giggling and sighed. "Oh Bella, I love you so much, you always know how to make me laugh. BUT, if you ever behave that way in my home again, I _WILL _be kicking your ass," she snarled at me.

"Understood," I answered quickly.

As I sat and thought about it, I had really gotten off pretty easy considering what a bitch I'd been to Cullen. Oh yes, hindsight is such a lovely fucker isn't it? In retrospect I saw how my behavior was destined from the start. I was itching for a disagreement with Cullen, I specifically wore clothes I knew would elicit a reaction, good or bad. I acted specifically in a manner that would test Cullen's limits. Oh he didn't disappoint either, it was like he played right into my hands with that one. Putty I tell ya, putty. I wasn't looking forward to the day I would have to see him again, fuck, that was going to suck ass.

* * *

Robert Charles Cheney was born on November the third at three fifty-three p.m.. He had dark curly hair like his father and big eyes that looked as though they were going to be a wonderful shade of brown. He was absolutely, without a doubt, the cutest baby on the planet and how adorable was he going to look in his Billy Idol t-shirt I had custom made for him? God, I could hardly wait!

Robbie's christening was the following weekend at Angela and Ben's home. I was so nervous, knowing Cullen was going to be there. I had managed to avoid him when I visited in the hospital, plus Ben was staying home with Angela the first two weeks to help her out so I had given them their space, not wanting to intrude on their special bonding time with the baby.

The morning of the christening, I pulled my nice black dress and pumps out of the closet, curled my hair and put on light make-up. I was making a conscious effort not to be the same girl Cullen met before. Not that I was trying to get on his good side or anything, I just wanted to be all I could be for Ben and Ang today. Plus, Cullen's whole fucking family was showing up for this thing. God, I thought I better use extra deodorant, it looked like I was going to be fucking nervous as hell. I'm sure they were going to look at me like I was a three-eyed monster. Although, perhaps if I was lucky, he wouldn't have mentioned our little issue from a few weeks ago.

I drove over to the house and saw quite a few cars already there. Oh God, I couldn't remember what Cullen drove, I had wanted to get here before he did so I could be prepared and not have to walk in after him. _Shit_.

Leaving my jacket in the car, I got out and smoothed my dress down nervously as I started up the walkway. I was looking down when I heard the door open and close quickly, I looked up and saw Cullen standing on the stoop. He gave me a tentative smile and walked forward to meet me at the top stair.

"Hi Bella, how are you? You look very nice today by the way," he said nervously, running his hand absently through his auburn hair. I could hear him swallow, and I vaguely wondered if he could hear my nervous heart beat?

I cleared my throat and answered quietly, "Hi Cullen, thanks and you look nice today too." And he did, he had on black dress shoes, gray slacks and a silver dress shirt with a black, purple and silver striped tie on. He looked - dare I say it - sexy?

"Hey Bella, I wanted to apologize for my lack of manners and rude behavior when we last saw each other. I was out of line with my actions, burping and all," he said, looking at me sincerely. I noticed for the first time how green his eyes were in comparison to the blue hue the first time we met. They were dazzling and the combo of the hair and the eyes, well I have to say Angela was right, he _was_ pretty.

"Well Cullen, I'd say we were both out of line, I owe you an apology as well. I lost my temper and I shouldn't have acted that way. I know you mean the world to Ben and Ang," I told him, swallowing my pride and letting myself become as humble as necessary to make this right for my best friends.

"Well even if I do hate Billy Idol and he is a horrible representation of his genre, I shouldn't have said those things. Even if you were being kind of a bitch, I should've let it go, so we were both clearly wrong here," he said seriously, shaking his head.

Wait just a minute, was he just re-offending me? What. The. _Fuck_? This guy was seriously a piece of fucking work!

"_Excuse me_? If you think I was being a bitch then clearly you must admit you were being a dick?" I shot back at him incredulously, my eyes opening widely in disbelief, my mouth in an 'O' shape.

"What? No, no, I was only saying I reacted to you reacting, I thought you understood... were admitting to being a bitch?" he answered, his hands raised in surrender and his brows furrowed in confusion.

"Conversation terminated asshole. _WE_ will now turn ourselves around and march into this house and let them all think we just made nice and then after this if I ever see you again it will be too soon. I cannot believe you would stand here and offend me yet again... have you no self control?" My hands were fisted and I screeched in a whisper, trying to maintain my dignity and not letting our friends know we were into it again.

His eyebrow arched in challenge. He gave me a long pointed look, smiled grimly and said sarcastically, "I would just as soon walk over hot coals barefoot than have to deal with your shit ever again."

Perfect, we understood each other here, game fucking on. I nodded and stepped forward.

He turned around, making a sweeping gesture with his hand wanting it to look as though he were gallantly ushering me into the house. That little fucker even put his damn hand on the small of my back to direct me inside, as if I hadn't been there a million times before. _Asshole_. I saw him wipe his freaking hand on his pants afterward, just like he did that night we first met and he shook it. What the hell? What kind of freak was this guy?

When I walked into the room it was silent, and everyone was staring at Cullen and I as if waiting to see if we were going to start a fight or something. Jesus, did everyone know? And who were all these people? Fuck my life, I saw an older woman standing smiling at me sweetly, she was gorgeous and dammit, she looked just like fucking Cullen. I'd be willing to bet my life's savings she was the little fuck's mother. Great, this was going to be so damn fun. I plastered a small smile on my face, knowing it was all I was going to be able to give at that moment.

"Hello, you must be Bella?" the gorgeous woman said in a soft, warm, motherly voice as she was walking forward to shake my hand, her arm outstretched to me.

I reached forward to grab her hand and gave it a shake. Her warm smile had me feeling a bit off kilter. She was absolutely stunning, her reddish hair just like Cullen's and bright green eyes that looked like green leaves swallowed in sunshine. She had on a lovely russet colored dress with simple clean lines that flattered her figure as though it were made for her.

"Yes, I'm Bella and you are...?" I inquired politely.

"Bella, this is my mother Esme Cullen and that's my father Carlisle over there," Cullen said, pointing out a tall, elegant looking man with dark brown hair and bright blue eyes around fifty-five wearing black slacks and a slate gray sweater. Oh my God, he was gorgeous too.

I smiled and gave a little wave after releasing Esme's hand. I glanced over and saw Ang and Ben smiling at me, I could tell they thought Cullen and I had made amends. Oh how wrong they were, how wrong indeed.

Ben came over to introduce me to the rest of the guests.

"Bella, this is Alice and Jasper Whitlock, Alice is Cullen's sister and Jasper is her husband," he said smiling warmly at them. Alice was petite with brownish-black spiky hair and blue eyes, her figure diminutive and adorable. Her husband Jasper - another weird name, sheesh what's the deal with these people? - was tall and thin with curling, longish dirty blond hair. His hazel eyes held a warmth and friendliness that spoke volumes. They were dressed to the nines in fine and fancy clothes. Alice wore a royal blue wrap dress with black pumps and black sheer hose, and Jasper in black slacks and a green sweater.

"And this is Emmett and Rose Cullen, Cullen's brother and sister-in-law," again Ben was smiling warmly. Rose was a gorgeous creature, although slightly overweight, she was stunning. Long, beautiful blond hair and bright blue eyes. She had on black slacks and a red silk blouse that accentuated her curves and everything else perfectly. She fit impeccably with her linebacker-looking husband Emmett. He had broad shoulders and brown curly hair atop a face full of mirth and dimples. His blue eyes were shining and happy. He seemed like he would be a fun guy, happiness just seemed to pour out of him. He basically radiated it, if you will. He had brown slacks and an ice blue sweater on that made his eyes look brighter than a prism. They both smiled warmly at me, Rose giving me a small wave.

These Cullens must be extra special, Ben was not someone who was easily duped. He appeared to genuinely care a lot for Cullen's family. I glanced over at Angela and the baby. She was holding him gently to her chest, smiling eagerly at Ben and I as he made all the introductions.

"This is Bella everyone. She is our best friend, our family really," Ben said seriously. I looked over at him and he pulled me towards him to give me a big hug. God I wanted to cry right there. He and Angela meant the world to me, I needed to get my head out of my ass and figure out how to make it through this day with Cullen. I sure hoped the rest of his family was easier to get along with than he was.

They all murmured hello to me and gave me the most sincere wonderful smiles, it made me wonder if Cullen was adopted or stolen at birth and forced to live with Neanderthals since he was the complete opposite of what I was seeing right now.

Apparently he hadn't shared the lowdown of our debacle of a fix-up yet. I might make it through the day unscathed after all.

Alice walked over toward me and said, "Hi Bella, I've heard so much about you. Ben and Angela have said so many wonderful things, it's so nice to meet you in person," she said genuinely, maintaining eye contact the whole time.

"Thanks Alice, it's nice to meet you as well," I answered, giving her a warm smile.

Esme stood next to us and we continued on with a lovely conversation about work and what we did for a living. Apparently Alice owned and operated an exclusive day care/childcare center in Seattle. Her husband was a professor at the UW. Esme spoke about her volunteer work at the children's hospital where Carlisle worked as Chief of Staff. Esme went on to tell me that Rose and Emmett owned their own business, a culinary academy. They were a perfect little family. I had to admit although I was sort of jealous of their closeness, I also found it quite endearing.

The conversation was mundane and safe and I appreciated their efforts to make me feel included.

I glanced around and saw Angela and Ben whispering to each other. I caught Angela's eye and she winked at me. Hmmm... wonder what that was about.

Then I realized someone was looking at me. I turned and noticed Rose and Edward staring back at me. Rose was staring hard at me like she was trying desperately to figure something out, a puzzle or riddle if you will. I noticed Edward then, he was also staring at me, wide-eyed and looking a little confused. What the hell? Why did he look so confused?

We were interrupted by a knock on the door, the local Pastor had arrived to bless the baby.

We all gathered around Angela, Ben and Robert as the Pastor performed a blessing service. He then asked Cullen and I if we were prepared for the responsibilities of being a godparent. We both nodded our assent and he continued on with the ceremony.

After it was all over we signed a cute little Christening certificate, almost like a marriage license, for Robert Charles' baby book. Cullen and I then had to hold the baby and have our picture taken with him together. Fuck, I could do this, I had to do this.

"Okay Bella, Cullen, come over here. Bella, you hold Robby and Cullen you come and stand close to her so we can take a picture," Angela said excitedly.

Cullen stood closer to me, his arm draped loosely around my waist. His touch weirded me out a bit. I knew he hated me so I wondered if he felt as weird as I did at that moment. Like we were a big fat lie.

I looked up at him, his hair in disarray and saw him frowning down at me. I frowned back at him, giving him the stink eye, then turned my face forward with a broad fake fucking smile for Angela. I could make nice for the best friend I've ever had.

Ben was staring at us, a look of confusion on his face. When Angela finished taking the picture the baby started fussing so she took him to his room to change and feed him. Ben walked over then and grabbed me by the elbow and gently steered me into the corner of the room.

"Bella, what's going on with you and Cullen?" he whispered conspiratorially, his eyebrow raised in question, his lips in a thin, straight line.

"What do you mean Ben? I just had my picture taken with him and the baby..." I trailed off, not knowing where he was headed with his line of questioning. I was certain my face showed clear puzzlement.

"Bella. Come on, please, I'm not stupid, are the two of you still behaving like three-year olds?" he questioned me, his voice dripping with disappointment.

"Oh Ben, please, don't be mad, we just agreed to disagree. We can be civil, don't worry. I won't make it miserable for Cullen, not in the least," I reassured him, my hand patting his hand.

"Bella, here's the thing, Ang and I were really hoping you and Cullen could... _would..._ be friends. We really worry about you, you have no one but us, you need to broaden your horizons babe," Ben said softly, love evident in his tone.

"See Ben, that's where you're wrong sweets! I have you guys _AND_ Robert Charles now, I have broadened my horizons," I replied cheerily, giving him a hearty smile and a side hug.

"That's not what I meant and you know it Bella Swan, God you are such a brat," he said smiling, his voice lighter now.

"Don't worry your little head about me Ben, I'm just where I want to be. I'll be nice to Cullen, he'll probably be nice to me too, it'll be fine I promise," I laughed.

He just looked at me serenely as he said "I sure hope so Bella, we just love and care about you so much..."

Jesus, I was so freaking lucky to have them both in my life. I looked around the room at the Cullens and realized that Ben and Angela had added more than a baby to their family. I was never happier for them than at that moment.


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks to my awesome beta's GrayMatters, PixieKat7 and co-beta-ing credits go to Pixie's l'il black cat, Pidgeon (apparently he helped).  
Any errors you see below will be all mine.  
Fuck count= very low  
Also thanks to Nikita2009 (read her stuff) and Katinki (read her stuff too) for pre-reading, they are both invaluable to me.

Fic Rec:  
The New World by mkystich  
**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6533246/1/The_New_World by mkystich**

**Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight related characters you see below. The words are mine.**

****

Chapter 4

For the next few weeks I spent as much time helping Angela and Ben with the baby as I could. Ben had gone back to work and was going crazy with overtime. He was upset at being unable to help Angela more with Robert Charles. I stepped in to help out after work most evenings, if only to be there for moral support or fix a quick dinner and to make sure Angela took time to eat. She seemed to be slightly overwhelmed with it all at times, as I'm sure all new mothers were.

I didn't see Cullen after the Christening, which was fine by me. I didn't actually want to see him anyway. I did have to suffer through hearing about him though.

"So Bella," Ang said one night, while I was sitting rocking the baby and she folded some laundry. "Cullen started seeing some loser chick, this girl named Tanya who works in the gossip column department at the paper. Ben says she is a total skank and that Cullen is all over her like flies on shit."

I looked at her, raising my eyebrow as if to say _'I told ya so'_.

"Oh pfft, fuck off Bella! I know you and Cullen didn't click, but Ben says he is in denial and Ben would know," she said to me, all snarky and indignant.

"Ben says Cullen is in a trap, Tanya is going to suck him dry," she added, stopping suddenly, then giggling at her play on words.

Oh I'm sure Cullen was hoping this Tanya skank would suck him dry alright!

"Oh God, I'm so sorry, I'm sleep deprived!" she giggled harder, as she sat down with the towel she was folding between her hands.

She glanced over at me, obviously wondering why I wasn't commenting, I was trying valiantly to hold in my hysterical bubble of laughter that threatened to explode out of my mouth. I'm certain my face was pretty comical at the prospect.

When her brow raised in question and her tongue came out at me in defiance I lost it. I started snorting and giggling as I put the baby in his bassinet, and by the time I sat back down into my chair I was nearly hysterical with laughter.

I was laying on the chair rolling back and forth just about dying, I was laughing so hard. "Ang, Jesus, talk about a play on words! '_Suck him dry_'? Really?" I sputtered through my laughter, tears coming out of the corners of my eyes.

We sat trying to compose ourselves and giggled for a few minutes then all the sudden Ang got really quiet.

"Bella, I'm scared, " she whispered, looking over at me with wide eyes, moist with unshed tears.

"What? Why Ang? What on earth are you scared about?" I asked her, getting up and sitting beside her on the couch to put my arm around her back. I was concerned for my friend - she never got like this.

"Oh Bella, Ben has been working so much, the baby is eight weeks old and we still haven't had sex again, I'm afraid he doesn't want me anymore, with my fat still hanging on, the ugly bags under my eyes, my constant yawning and moodiness..." she trailed off miserably, gazing down at her lap, looking like she was about to burst into tears. Oh my God, post-partum depression at its finest. Poor thing!

"Ang, babe, calm down, Ben will _ALWAYS_ want you, he loves you. Silly girl, the two of you are perfect for each other. Maybe you need to make a plan, get yourself primped up and seduce that husband of yours," I suggested brightly. I wanted her to see how wrong she was, there was no love that could match Ben and Angela's.

She sat up tall, a big smile on her face and said excitedly, "Shit Bella! You're right! Hey, would you be willing to come over this Friday night and babysit Robby for me so I can take my husband out for dinner, to have some alone time for us?" she asked me, looking wistfully into my eyes, her voice hopeful.

"Of course I can, Robby and I can hang out and listen to some White Wedding, dance together and be silly," I said winking, thrilled she trusted me to babysit the baby all by myself! It had been a while since I'd babysat a young baby but it had to be like riding a bike right? You get back on and pedal like there is no tomorrow.

"Shit Bella, you waste no time corrupting my son with your Billy Idol obsession do you?" she laughed, as she snapped me with the towel.

"Teach 'em good music when they're young, that's my motto," I giggled, waggling my eyebrows up and down for effect and thrusting my fingers in the universal rock and roll sign while pretending to head bang like a metal rocker chick. I had my Billy Idol sneer firmly in place.

She laughed loudly saying, "Well it's a deal then, come over at six o'clock and be prepared to stay for a few hours. Ben and I will go to dinner and time allowing if we aren't too tired, we can maybe go see a movie and make out like teenagers in the dark theater."

I chuckled and nodded in the affirmative. I was so excited to spend time the baby, and also happy my friend was clearly feeling better about things.

Come Friday night, I showed up and knocked on their door. I was wearing my old ratty jeans, Chuck Taylors and my black Def Leppard t-shirt.

Ben answered the door, took one look at me and laughed his ass off, then pulled me into a big, tight hug.

"Thanks so much for doing this Bells, Ang and I really appreciate it so much," he said sincerely, his face full of emotion, his smile broad and happy.

"Oh Ben, jeez, it's the least I can do for my family, silly boy!" I answered, as I playfully punched him in the arm.

He reached out and ruffled my hair like we were seven again, making me crazy in the process, then I poked him back in the belly, then it began in earnest. We were play fighting in the entryway, giggling like school kids, poking and prodding each other, Ben had me in a headlock down at his waist giving me a noogie, when Ang cleared her throat behind us.

"Um... excuse me? Are you two children done messing around down here? I'd like to take my sexy husband to dinner if you don't mind."

Ben turned us around, both of us laughing heartily, me still in the headlock. My laughter died in my throat when I looked up through my messy hair and saw how beautiful she looked.

Ben obviously noticed too because he moaned, let go of me and said huskily, "Damn, Ang, how about we just get a hotel! Bag the dinner and movie, you look gorgeous babe!"

She leaned in and swatted his arm playfully while she kissed his cheek.

They looked so cute together, Ben in his nice jeans and button down navy blue shirt and Angela in a gorgeous purple sweater and jeans that hid any extra weight she might have still had from the baby.

"Oh man you guys, you look so fucking cute," I told them, "Let me take your picture, your first post-baby date. You can show Robby when he is older how awesome his Mom and Dad looked."

I grabbed the camera from my purse that I had brought it with me to get some new shots of the baby while I was there tonight. I made them pose, and although they pretended not to want to, I knew they were only playing. It would be a sweet picture for them.

I snapped a few different shots, them gazing into each other's eyes, their arms around each other looking deliriously happy into the camera and then one last one of them holding the baby before they grabbed their coats to head out the door.

"Bells, there are four bottles ready to go in the door of the fridge, make sure you check them on your inside wrist to see if they are warm enough or worse, too hot! You'll need to microwave them for like thirty seconds is all... I think there are plenty of diapers, don't forget the butt cream - his little bum has a bit of diaper rash and oh God Bells, if anything at all freaks you out, don't hesitate to call or text me and we'll come right back. You know what restaurant right? The movie is that new George Clooney one, I've heard it's kinda bad so we don't have to see it if you've decided this is all too much for you..." Angela said nervously, her verbal diarrhea on the rampage again.

"Ang, calm down babe, take a deep breath, I'm sure Bells can handle babysitting, she has our numbers so don't worry," Ben said lovingly, rubbing Angela's back with his hand, as he smiled and gave me a wink.

"I promise Ang, if I have any problems at all I'll call, don't worry, now give little Robby to me and get your asses on your way or you'll miss your dinner reservation," I said confidently, taking Robby into my arms after they both kissed his sweet cheek goodbye.

Ben opened the front door and they started forward, stopping suddenly to turn around towards me.

"Bye, Bella and thanks," Ben said, hugging me close and then whispering in my ear, "You're the best Bells."

"Bye Bells, bye Robby, love you both," Ang said softly, looking over her shoulder as I closed the door behind them.

I looked down at the baby and said "Damn, Robby baby, I didn't think they were ever gonna leave. Shall we get this party started? You sticking with the usual tonight sweets? Want some icky blicky formula while I have a diet Pepsi?" in a sing-song baby voice. I'm certain I sounded like a complete moron but hell, Robby smiled a toothless grin, kicking his legs joyfully, so he clearly enjoyed my ridiculous banter.

We hung out for a while, I sang him some Billy Idol, which he obviously loved. I put his custom made Idol t-shirt on, snapped a few rocker posed shots then I fed, burped and changed him into a sleeper then settled him into bed for the night.

Angela called during the time I was feeding him to check in. I laughed and told her Robby had gone to live with a pack of wolves but would return by his eighteenth birthday just in time for her and Ben to pay for college. She laughed, called me a bitch and told me they were off to the movie.

After we hung up I went and got comfy on the couch, about forty minutes later the house phone rang, I let it go to the answering machine, figuring it was a telemarketer or something. Ang and Ben usually used their cell phones for everything so any call to the house phone could wait until they got back home.

I turned the television up a bit louder, I didn't want to accidentally overhear something private being left on their machine. Then oddly enough, about fifteen minutes later the house phone rang again. I shook my head - someone sure was persistent.

Settling into the comfortable couch, I started to get a little sleepy, I turned the volume down a bit on the television just in case I accidentally fell asleep, I would still be able to hear if the baby woke up. I felt myself nod off.

About fifteen minutes later the doorbell rang. Who in the world would ring a door bell at ten-thirty at night? It scared me, and my heart beat fast, being woken up like that was such a weird feeling. I thought to myself that maybe Ang and Ben had forgotten their house key or something.

I went to the door and looked out the peephole. I saw a uniformed policeman standing there and my heart really started pounding. I wondered what the hell was going on.

Opening the door a small crack, my hand fluttering to my neck nervously, I said "Yes officer?"

"Is this the residence of Angela and Benjamin Cheney?" he asked gruffly.

"Yes, it is," I answered in a small, nervous voice, "What's wrong?"

"Are you Ms. Bella Swan?" he asked, his face blank, his voice serious.

"Yes, I am officer," I answered, truly frightened now, opening the door a little wider. He knew who I was, what on earth?

He spoke into a microphone on his shoulder "Officer Uley here, Ms. Swan located at the Cheney residence, repeat, Ms. Swan located at the Cheney residence." Then he looked at me, his gaze not wavering, took a deep breath and uttered the worst words I would ever have to hear.

"Ms. Swan, I regret to inform you, there has been an accident this evening involving Mr. and Mrs. Cheney's vehicle and a semi truck. Ma'am I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but, Mr. and Mrs. Cheney did not survive," he said sadly, his eyes betraying the first emotion I had seen from him.

"Whaaaat?..." I trailed off. I looked at him, my eyes were huge, my heart was palpitating, I felt all the blood rush from my head to my toes. There must be some kind of mistake, this couldn't be happening, not Ben, not Ang!

"No. No, this can't be, you have to be wrong, they can't be dead, they can't. They have a new baby, they just went out for dinner, their first date since they had Robby. It can't be them, it can't. Take it back, stop, it can't be...no..." I stuttered, my tears started to fall and my legs felt like they were about to buckle out from underneath me.

The officer stepped forward and held onto me. I pulled my arm back sharply, I didn't want him to touch me, it was as if he wasn't touching me, then it couldn't be real.

Oh my God, he had to be wrong, he just had to be! How would Robby live without the two best people in the world? How would I? I was frantic then, pacing back and forth in the entryway, running my hands through my hair and grabbing the sides of my head.

"Ms. Swan, I'm so sorry, the hospital tried to call the house, to tell you what had happened. You were listed as their emergency contact, but we couldn't get a hold of you with the number listed," he said sympathetically. Compassion oozing off him in waves, so thick I could almost physically see it, I wanted to vomit. I didn't want his compassion. I wanted my two best friends. I wanted Robby's parents, dammit!

My damn phone, the ringer was on vibrate, I hadn't wanted to scare the baby so I put it on vibrate and forgot to turn it back up after I talked to Ang earlier. Oh God, no. I was shaking my head frantically.

"There was only you and an Edward Cullen listed for family. I assumed you were you when you answered the door tonight ma'am," he said, elaborating further.

"One of our other officers is locating Mr. Cullen right now, ma'am. Would you like me to have him come here to be with you?" he asked softly.

"Ummm... huh? Cullen... here? God no, no, that's okay, no..." I mumbled back almost incoherently, clearly in shock.

Suddenly I heard a ruckus outside, tires squealed to a stop and the sound of doors shutting made me peer over the officer's shoulder. I was somewhat surprised to see Edward Cullen and his mother Esme coming hurriedly up the walk.

"Oh Bella, oh my God, sweetie are you alright?" Esme asked gently, taking me in her arms as I completely fell apart. I noticed Cullen first though, his eyes rimmed with red, looking at me with sorrow and grief evident on his face.

I could hear Cullen and the officer speaking to one another, but had no idea what was actually being said. I did hear Cullen ask his mother if Carlisle should be called to have a look at me. She agreed that perhaps it would be wise and Cullen disappeared to make, what I assumed, was a call to his father.

Meanwhile the officer had left, Esme was sitting next to me on the couch, holding me to her side and rubbing up and down my arms comfortingly as I cried hysterical buckets of tears for the loss of the only two people in the world who meant the most to me, besides that sweet baby sleeping upstairs. I heard her muttering and cooing under her breath that everything would be all right and that she would help me through it all. I was comforted by her touch and greatly appreciated her being there. I truly was in shock.

What felt like seconds passed and soon I heard Carlisle's voice in the room. _Wow, did he fly here?_ I wondered, still crying to myself.

And where the fuck did Cullen go? Probably off to the arms of the stupid skank Ang had told me about.

I heard a soft "Shh Bella, everything is going to be okay sweetheart, do you need anything?" I think it was Carlisle, but I couldn't be sure, everything seemed to be in a fog. I shook my head wildly. They couldn't bring me what I needed. I needed my best friends to show up right the fuck now.

"Bella, I'm going to give you something to calm you down okay?" the voice said softly.

I nodded wordlessly, not looking up, not caring what happened at this point. I just wanted it to all go away. I wanted it to be a bad dream that I would awaken from soon. I wanted Ben and Ang.

I felt a prick on my arm, I heard someone mutter, "A mild sedative, she needs rest, we can't have her shutting down any further."

Then I felt someone, I didn't know who, pick me up from the couch and carry me up the stairs. I was laid on the spare bed and as I was drifting off, I felt a soft comforter come up and engulf me in its warmth. Warm fingers brushed my hair off my forehead, stopping briefly to rub my cheek with their roughened thumb. I must've still been crying because whoever it was said, "Shh now Bella, it will be okay, we'll help you, don't worry."

I fell into the oblivion of drug-induced sleep, letting the darkness wash over me in waves, wanting, no _needing_, to escape the reality I would greet the next time I opened my eyes. My two best friends, my entire family, except for one now parent-less child, were gone. How was I going to go on? And oh my God, that poor baby - what was going to happen to Robby? With that last thought my world went black.

*****  
**A/N**  
I know, this is slated as a romance humor story and it will be I promise! I have only 2 chapters of sad... it had to happen. :(  
There will be a **big** A/N after the next chapter which will come to you all in 2011!  
I thank everyone for their reviews and private messages. It means a lot.  
Merry Christmas to you all and Happy new Year too! Be safe ladies!


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks to my awesome betas GrayMatters and PixieKat7.

Any and all mistakes you find will be mine mine mine!

Special thanks to Nikita2009 (read her stuff) and Katinki (read her stuff too) for pre-reading.

Thanks to everyone for leaving reviews, I really do enjoy reading them, some of you are so funny.

Please read A/N at the bottom, thanks!

**Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight related characters you see below. The words are mine.**

**Chapter 5**

I had awoken that morning slightly disoriented but it wasn't long before the reality of the situation came crashing down around me. Angela and Ben, my two best friends, my rocks, my only family, were gone. Dead.

I frantically jumped out of the bed and ran into Robby's room.

Alice Whitlock was sitting in the rocking chair with Robby in her arms, feeding him a bottle. She was singing him a lullaby softly while she rocked,.the creaking noise of the rocker somehow becoming a part of the song she sang.

When I came barreling into the room she looked up at me, stopped rocking and said gently with tears in her eyes, "Bella, everything is fine, I have him, don't worry."

I couldn't speak, my own tears were flowing silently down my cheeks. My eyes were pinned to Robby's face and I was unable to look away. I just nodded towards her and crumpled down to the floor, watching her feed a bottle to the last connection to my reality that I had left.

"Bella, why don't you go downstairs and get something to eat, or go take a shower. It might make you feel better," she looked at me and suggested kindly.

I shook my head at her, I wasn't leaving the baby, not gonna happen. I was never leaving this baby.

"I can't Alice, I just can't..." I whispered, looking up into her sympathetic blue eyes sadly. I was broken, feeling beyond repair.

I heard a discreet cough behind me and turned my head slowly to see who it was. Carlisle Cullen stood solemnly in the doorway looking at me with such compassion and sadness I almost lost whatever composure I had left, which certainly wasn't much.

"Bella, as a doctor and hopefully as a new friend, I want to encourage you to do exactly what Alice just suggested. I'd be happy to take you home for a few moments to gather some things together and then you can come right back here when you're done. I don't feel comfortable letting you drive, you're in no condition emotionally to be alone right now. Please... please let us help you," he said, his voice full of emotion and concern.

I hung my head, I knew what he was saying held some merit, but the irrational side of me didn't want to get in a car and leave Robby. I was so freaked out, I started to shake and quiver uncontrollably at the thought of leaving, even for the thirty minutes it would take to run home and back. I couldn't do it. I continued to sit on the floor, shaking, twisting my head side to side, not willing to move from where I was.

I heard Carlisle walk into the room and crouch down beside me. I opened my eyes as his hand softly connected with my shoulder, warm and comforting. I looked into his beautiful blue eyes, seeing the compassion and understanding in them. He gave me a small smile, rubbed my shoulder and spoke softly, as if he were talking to a frightened child, "I completely understand Bella. How about if we let Rose and Esme go over to your house, get you some clothes and personal items and they can bring it back here so you don't have to leave Robby. Would that be okay with you?"

I sat there for a few seconds and then I nodded slightly, looking at him gratefully. "I suppose that could work, if you think they wouldn't mind?" I answered with trepidation.

"Of course they won't mind, they want to help, we all want to help," he replied gently.

He asked me for my keys and my address and then went to tell Esme and Rose what I would need. I sat in a stupor, not really moving or saying anything. I could hear the rhythmic noise of the rocker going back and forth and the sounds of Robby sucking on the bottle Alice was still feeding him. I appreciated her not talking to me, not trying to make idle chit chat to fill the room with unnecessary noise.

I heard the door downstairs close softly, then I heard footsteps come back up and head down the hall towards Robby's room. I looked up, expecting to see Carlisle standing in the doorway, instead I found Cullen looking down at me on the floor, with sympathy rolling off of him in waves. He looked as bad as I felt. I could see his red-rimmed eyes, his messed up hair, remnants of tear tracks on his face.

We said nothing to each other. He never came farther into the room, just leaned against the door frame and after releasing my gaze he looked at Robby and Alice with eyes so full of tenderness that I lost my shit. I started blubbering all over again.

Cullen quickly crossed the room and sat next to me on the floor, pulling me into his side to comfort me. He smelled like a spring breeze, I swear I could smell apples or spice or maybe just a combination of all those things together. I was so overcome with emotion I didn't even care that it was _him_ holding me together.

"Shh, Bella, shh. You'll be fine, I promise... shh," he whispered into my ear as I was squished into his side body crying my eyes out yet again. I pulled back to look at him then.

"Cullen, why...oh God Cullen, why did this happen?" I sputtered out, tears overflowing from my eyes as I continued to wail and cry.

"I don't know Bella. I just don't know...," he trailed off, emotion making his voice thick. He handed me a tissue to wipe my eyes and nose, trying to help me pull it together.

We sat there like that while Alice finished feeding Robby, burped him and then laid him back down in his crib for a nap. Then she turned, walked towards Cullen and I and extended her hands to help us up.

"I think we all need to go down stairs right now, get something in Bella's tummy and try and figure some stuff out, don't you agree Edward?" she said tenderly, the statement mostly directed at Cullen, as she was offering us her hands.

"Yeah Alice, you're right," he answered sadly, as he pushed himself up off the floor.

They helped me up, and I turned around to gaze at Robby, almost unwilling to leave the room. Alice grabbed my hand tighter in her warm one and tugged me gently towards the doorway.

"Come on Bella, he'll be fine, the baby monitor is on, we'll know if he needs us," she offered sweetly while giving my hand a soft squeeze.

I hesitated for just another second, looking at Robby lovingly then turned and headed down to the kitchen.

We all made our way in and I saw Carlisle leaning against the kitchen counter, his head in his hands, his body clearly exhausted. He looked up at us when he heard us walk in and gave us a small smile.

"Dad, I told Bella and Edward they needed to get something to eat," Alice offered, her voice soft yet firm. It appeared she wasn't going to take no for an answer from me or Cullen.

"Excellent Alice. Edward, Bella, how about I make some eggs and toast for you both? There is coffee over there, and the mugs are sitting out, would you like some of that as well?" he asked, his voice concerned.

Cullen looked at me, tilting his head to the side, then with a small smile said quietly, "Errr... Bella do you want some coffee? I'll get you a cup..."

I nodded yes and then mumbled, "Cream please."

He walked over, grabbed two cups and filled them both with the steaming coffee, grabbing the cream out of the fridge and sat it all down in from of me on the island we were standing in front of.

Meanwhile Carlisle started cracking some eggs, and put some bread in the toaster to make toast.

Alice went to the opposite counter and started peeling and slicing bananas and some apples, obviously wanting to be helpful and stay busy. Given the situation I didn't want to talk, especially since I didn't know the Cullens very well. The all seemed to realize this and didn't push me. I had to stop for a moment and consider that I was certainly lucky to have them all here and they obviously were as overcome with emotion as I was. Ben and Angela meant a lot to them too. I was going to need to remember that. I wasn't the only one who lost someone important last night.

We stood there quietly, Carlisle finishing the eggs and Alice buttering the toast. They worked like a well oiled machine, transferring the breakfast to plates and putting the steaming goodness in front of Cullen and I. Even though I didn't feel like eating, I had to admit to myself I was hungry all the sudden.

While Cullen and I ate, Alice fluttered around the kitchen cleaning up and getting things put away. I watched her as she made a few bottles and put them in the refrigerator for Robby later. She certainly knew what she was doing, I guess owning a prestigious day care/child care center had its perks.

I glanced up, feeling someone watching me and noticed Carlisle looking at me pensively. He gave me a meek smile and then his face contorted a bit, looking as though he were in pain or something.

"Bella, I hate to bring this up, but it needs to be discussed. Do you know if Angela and Ben had any final wishes concerning their burial? Some decisions need to be made and I want to help with that, if you don't mind," he said gently.

Oh shit, I should've known this was going to come up. It was only logical, a part of the process. I took a deep breath and pulled myself together so I wouldn't lose it when I answered. The last thing they needed was a weepy good-for-nothing Bella on their hands.

"Carlisle, it's okay, I understand why you need to ask. I know Angela and Ben always wanted their organs donated and to be cremated, I know the paper work is all in their safe in the hall closet, the key in the drawer down here in the kitchen," I answered quietly. We had talked about all of these details before when they found out they were pregnant with Robby. Clearly I knew all their personal information, we only had each other.

He nodded and said quietly, "Yes, I knew of their wishes for organ donation and that has been taken care of, I just didn't know what to do concerning a burial or funeral, I would like to help with those arrangements as well."

"Ben mentioned to me at work a few times that there was paperwork for all that, as well as their lawyer's information concerning their will, kept in their safe and that Bella knew what to do in the event that something were to happen to him or Angela," Cullen confirmed to his father, then turned his head and looked at me.

I got off the stool I was sitting on and walked over to the junk drawer to get the key. I handed it to Carlisle and he smiled tenderly at me as he excused himself to go upstairs.

Alice excused herself as well, saying she was going to check on Robby, leaving Cullen and I alone in the kitchen.

Can you say awkward? I was fidgeting, fighting the urge to run upstairs when I heard Cullen clear his throat and I looked over to find him staring back at me, his expression sad, his green-blue eyes bright with unshed tears.

"Bella, I want to say how sorry I am, I know how much they both meant to you, I can't imagine how you're feeling right now. Just know, that my family and I will help you in whatever way we can, if you'll let us," he said softly, his voice breaking at the end.

"Thank you..." I whispered.

At that moment the back door opened and Rose and Esme walked through with my suitcase from home and a few bags of groceries.

They stopped short when they saw Cullen and I sitting at the counter. Their eyes moved back and forth between us, then they looked at each other, they seemed happy to see we were eating something.

"Ah, Bella, you've eaten, that's good. Are you feeling any better dear?" Esme asked me considerately, her warm smile wrapping around me like a cocoon of concern.

"Yes, I am Esme, thanks for going and getting my things, I appreciate it so much," I answered softly, feeling slightly shy.

"No problem at all Bella," Rose said sweetly, as she handed me my suitcase.

I took it from her and wanting to escape their eyes and needing some time alone to digest the last twenty-four hours, I politely excused myself to go take a shower.

They just smiled gently as I turned to leave the room and head upstairs. I saw Carlisle in the closet, reading the documents that would explain Angela and Ben's wishes. I needed to get into the bathroom, I couldn't keep breaking down in front of these kind strangers. I owed it to Robby to get my shit together, he was going to need me.

About an hour later, after another much needed crying jag in the confines of the shower, I emerged feeling resolved. I felt like I had a firmer grip on myself, who knew eating and showering, oh and a good cry, could make me feel so much better?

I walked into Robby's room, seeing he wasn't there I determined that he must be downstairs with the Cullens. I went down the stairs and could hear Rose and Alice cooing at him, he was giggling back at them. I was so happy for their presence at that moment. Robby deserved happiness, he didn't know what had happened. If one good thing was to come of this, it would be that Robby wouldn't have to feel the loss of his parents at this time in his little life. I knew that later, when he was older and I told him all about his folks, he would feel devastated for missing out on that relationship.

Rose and Alice noticed me standing at the foot of the stairs, smiled at me and beckoned me forward.

"Look Bella, Robby is a giggle box," Rose said cheerfully, grabbing his hand and making goofy kissy noises onto his skin.

"He is! What a little sweetie!" Alice added, smiling at Robby, as she gave him a little bounce on her lap.

I sat on the couch and watched them play for a bit. Carlisle entered the room and sat down next to me.

"Bella, I hope you're feeling better, that the shower and food made a difference for you?" he asked, his beautiful blue eyes staring at me compassionately. I nodded and said that I was.

"Well, I want you to know, I've made all the arrangements for Angela and Ben. I followed the wishes in their paper work, it was easy really, they were certainly prepared for anything," he added gently, patting me on the leg.

"I've made arrangements for the funeral to be on Monday, which is day after tomorrow, then on Tuesday you and Edward have a meeting with Angela and Ben's attorney. That paper work was quite clear. I phoned him and since there is a baby involved ,we want things settled post haste, so he has cleared his schedule for you," he elaborated.

"Of course it goes without saying that my family, and Edward of course, are all at your disposal until you decide otherwise. Esme is planning on staying here for the week, to help out with the baby so you can get things settled."

"Thank you Carlisle, I appreciate it very much, I plan on taking two weeks off of work to get things organized," I answered sincerely. I truly appreciated him handling this for me. I did wonder though, why did Cullen need to come to the attorney's office with me? Weird, maybe he just didn't want me to be alone? I knew I was Angela and Ben's listed guardian for Robby, I knew that everything they had was mine, to make sure he was taken care of.

Well I needed to get my shit together, I had a funeral to attend. I sat silently contemplating for a while as the Cullens talked amongst themselves and played with Robby. I thought about Angela and Ben and what they might want their funeral to be like. I thought about how hard it was going to be, but that with the Cullens help, I might make it through the hardest day of my life. I needed to stay strong for Robby. I could do this, I _had_ to do this for him.

With firm resolve later that night, I found myself getting sleepy and I nodded off after they all left for the evening and I put Robby to bed. Esme stayed downstairs, while her family all went to their respective homes for the night.

The rest of the weekend had gone by in a blur. Rose and Alice headed back to their homes after I assured them I'd be just fine caring for Robby on my own throughout the day. Esme cooked a few dinners ahead of time for us and Carlisle went home as well. Esme headed home for a bit on Sunday morning and when she and Carlisle returned to check on me, I was trying to figure out how the fuck I was going to shower and not leave Robby alone while I did it? Esme smiled big at that_ "problem"_ and told me that was what bouncy seats were for. Apparently you just set them in it on the floor of the bathroom and bada-bing-bada-bang, a shower is had. That day however, she and Carlisle watched him for me so I could shower, which I totally appreciated. I'd seen hide nor hair of Cullen since he and I shared breakfast Saturday morning.

Monday came quickly, more quickly than I wanted it to. After Esme left to get ready, I sat and thought about the day ahead, today was the day I dreaded most, the funeral. Rose and Emmett had come to take care of Robby for me, it had been mutually decided that the funeral was no place for a baby. There would be a small gathering at the church reception hall afterward for people to be together and then it would be over and I could take this black dress off and burn it. I never wanted to wear it again.

The cathedral was packed with friends and work associates of Ben and Angela's. The altar was overflowed with beautiful floral arrangements which surrounded the pictures of Angela and Ben I'd picked for the service, it was unreal. I was planning on having someone take those flowers to the old folks home to share with the elderly people there who never got visitors or calls. Ang and Ben would have loved the idea of sharing the flowers with those who had no family.

I walked to the front of the church, noticing Carlisle and Esme saving me a spot. I slid in beside Esme who pulled me into a gentle embrace, kissing the side of my head like I was one of her own children, I had to admit, it was a wonderful feeling. Then I felt a hand pat my leg, it was Jasper, Alice's husband. When I looked into his eyes I could see the sorrow pouring out of them as he gave me a soft smile, Alice was at his side. Tears were already forming in my eyes and the service hadn't even started yet. I heard a muffled cough and looked to my left to see Cullen sitting on the other side of Alice. He wasn't looking at me.

I turned and stared straight ahead, Esme's hand firmly gripping mine as the Pastor who had performed Robby's christening started to speak. He went on about Angela and Ben and told some wonderful stories about them both that I had shared with him in a phone call last night. He said a few prayers and read a few Bible passages that Angela had loved. We sang Amazing Grace and then he invited people up to share anything they wanted to about Angela and Ben.

At first I didn't think anyone was going to have the courage to do it, but then, Cullen stood up abruptly and walked to the microphone.

"Hi, I'm Edward, I worked with Ben and he and Ang were good friends of mine. I only knew them for a little over a year, but I can honestly say, Ben was like a brother to me. One of the best friends I have ever...WILL ever have. He and Angela were warm and inviting and always made me feel like I was special to them, a member of their extended little family. I know they shared that with their good friend Bella as well. I don't think I've ever known two more selfless people, their kindness and generosity, considering their earlier circumstances in life, were epic. I know that my life will forever be changed for having known them and I hope I'll be given an opportunity to maintain contact with their precious son Robert Charles as well. I will miss them both more than I can ever say and I'm so grateful for the time they spent in my life," he said, his voice cracking with emotion all throughout his speech.

I had tears streaming down my face and when Cullen looked over at me during the portion of the speech where he spoke about maintaining contact with Robby. I knew right then, if I had anything to say about it, whether I liked Cullen or not, he would see that baby.

A few other co-workers got up and spoke with glowing comments for two people who touched so many lives. I was clutching Esme's hand like a life preserver. She was my rock. There was no way on the fucking planet I would be able to get up and control my emotions enough to speak. I was grateful no one put any pressure on me to do so.

After the people had all spoken the Pastor came back up and gave a final benediction for the safe resting of their souls. He said Ben and Angela had picked a song to be played at the end of the service and after it was over we were all dismissed to the reception hall for refreshments.

The first strains of the music started and my eyes got huge and full of fat, wet, salty tears, overflowing all at once. Somewhere Over The Rainbow started playing...oh my God, I didn't think I was going to be able to stand up. I gripped Esme's hand tightly, she pulled me close to her and whispered for me to let it all out.

That was all the invitation I needed, I started sobbing and wasn't sure I was going to ever be able to stop. I felt a movement in front of me, raised my head to look and there was Cullen crouched down looking up at me, his eyes full of tears themselves.

"Bella, shh... it's going to be fine. I promise, we won't leave you alone, you don't need to worry..." he trailed off gently, hurt and pain evident in his voice.

"Oh Cullen…" I sputtered quietly through my tears, "Why? Why did this happen? Why them? Why not me? I have nothing...it should have been me!"

Esme pulled me even closer, whispering softly in my ear how wrong I was, how everything was going to be okay, I was going to be fine and that I needed to be strong for Robby.

I knew she was right, I did need to be strong for Robby. I took a deep breath, looked at Cullen through my tears and thanked him. Tears were freely falling down his face by then as well.

He made no move to wipe them but did reach up and brush his thumb under my eye and said sweetly, "No more tears Bella, Angela and Ben would want you to be strong, to live...you can do this."

He was being so nice, maybe I was wrong about him, Angela and Ben might have been onto something after all.

Cullen was right though, I could and I would do this. I could break down later, after everyone left Robby and I alone. Later that evening I did just that as Esme put Robby to bed.

The next morning I woke up and put Robby in the bouncy seat to take my shower and get ready for the appointment with the attorney. I was ready to put all of this behind me and figure out how the hell I was going to handle my new found responsibilities.

About thirty minutes later, after I was dressed in my black slacks and blue sweater, the doorbell rang, it was Esme. She had on jeans and a purple fleece pullover that she had gone home to change into. She was there to watch the baby for me so I could go to the attorney with Edward. After today, I was on my own with Robby and I was nervous about trying to make things work.

Cullen came in the door behind her wearing brown dress pants and a cream colored dress shirt under a tan leather coat. He gave me a small smile, I still didn't understand why the fuck he needed to come along.

"Edward, you don't have to take me, I'm sure I can manage on my own," I said to him, somewhat firmly, I'd rather go alone.

"Um... Bella, I don't think I have a choice here, the paperwork said I was to bring you, so I am," he retorted, his voice having a slight edge to it.

What the fuck? Whatever, I didn't have time to argue the point. I grabbed my purse, smoothed down my hair and told Esme when Robby was due to eat next.

"Shall we?" I said somewhat sarcastically to Cullen.

He looked at me, his eyebrow quirked and muttered something unintelligible under his breath. What a tool, I guess our friendly truce was over.

We made our way to the attorney's office in silence, neither of us knowing what to say to the other, thankfully it was a short ride.

Going inside the building we stopped at the reception desk to check in. The receptionist took our names and said Mr. Jenks would be with us in a few minutes. We'd barely gotten seated when the door to the office opened and we were escorted back to another office by his secretary. We were seated in rich leather wing backed chairs facing an ornate mahogany desk in an office that smelled of old books and sweet pipe tobacco. A balding man of around fifty-five was seated behind it and reached his hand over to shake our hands as he introduced himself.

After the formalities were over, he started the process of reviewing Angela and Ben's will.

"Mr. Cullen, Ms. Swan, do you know why you are here today?"

"Yes, we're here for the reading of the will, is that right?" I said curiously.

"Well in a way it is the reading of the will, it is also their last wishes for you and Mr. Cullen," he added cryptically, looking over the paperwork as he spoke.

I turned and looked at Cullen skeptically, he was looking back at me, clearly as confused as I was about what was going down.

"Let's get started shall we?" Jenks said.

"In the matter of the home currently owned outright by Benjamin R. and Angela G. Cheney, it and all its contents are bequeathed to Isabella M. Swan, to use in whatever way she sees fit to care for their son Robert Charles Cheney. In the matter of the minor, Robert Charles Cheney, joint custody is to be shared between Isabella M. Swan and Edward A. M. Cullen. It has been requested that said joint custody should be shared in the home listed in the paperwork and that it should be for a minimum of one year. At the end of that one year you are free to live apart and sell the home if necessary to support the minor child. You will however, be required until said minor is eighteen years of age, to continue to share custody of minor child." he stated firmly.

Cullen and I both spoke at once.

"What! We have to do what?" I said, flabbergasted.

"This has to be a mistake sir, this can't be?" said Cullen, his face going pale, clearly in shock.

I wasn't so much in shock as I was pissed off, what the hell were they thinking? Me and Cullen? Cullen and I? Living in the same house for a minimum of a fucking year? Oh my God, I wanted the earth to fucking open up and swallow me right then.

Instead I said snarkily, "What the hell were they thinking? Over my dead damn body will I share a house with this... this... arrogant person!"

"ME! Arrogant? Boy you got a lotta nerve Swan! You're the arrogant one here!" Edward came back at me, his voice dripping with sarcastic antagonism.

Mr. Jenks snickered, yes that fucking asshole snickered, and then he coughed loudly, saying very seriously, "Oh, well, that might be the only way out of it Ms. Swan, you see if either of you forfeits then the minor child, Robert Charles Cheney will be remanded into state foster care until a suitable adoption can be placed. The Cheneys were very clear in their wishes for their son to have a mother and a father figure for at least the first year after their deaths, if they were to both expire at the same time."

Oh my God, sweet holy hell, Cullen looked at me and I looked at him, both of us clearly shocked.

He nodded towards me, his eyes round in fear and speculation over what might happen in a year. I'm sure he was thinking about how he could get out of it, I know I was.

But instead, swallowing audibly, I said firmly," Well shit, I guess I'm in then." Cullen just sat there, pale as a ghost and nodding his head in affirmation. Looks like Cullen and I were gonna be _'parents'_. God help me. God help Robby!

**A/N**

Some of you have already guessed, this fic is VERY loosely based on a movie called Life As We Know It. I have NOT seen the movie so any similarities from this point on, are strictly coincidental.

Also the song played for Ben and Angela's funeral is this version, grab a tissue and give it a listen:  
Somewhere Over the Rainbow  
http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=V1bFr2SWP1I&feature=channel

Fic recommendation: Please, if you can, check out these three wonderful stories, I guarantee you will adore them as much as I do. They have such small reviews and are worth so much more!

An Undefined Affair by jayhawkbb http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6009627/1/An_Undefined_Affair

Teenage Dreams by Belle Dean http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6380870/1/Teenage_Dreams

Watermark by Jay's World http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6338983/1/Watermark


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks to my awesome betas GrayMatters and PixieKat7.

Any and all mistakes you find will be mine mine mine!

Fuck count: A respectable 18-ish

Special thanks to Nikita2009 (read her stuff) and Katinki (read her stuff too) for pre-reading.

Thanks to everyone for leaving reviews, I really do enjoy reading them! Sometimes I award the prize of a teaser for the next chapter to someone. Just sayin'.** ;)**

**BTW: **I am going to a Tuesday posting schedule from now on. Next Tuesday, the funny comes back with a vengeance!

**Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight related characters you see below. The words are mine.**

**Chapter 6**After returning to Ang and Ben's home, Cullen and I quickly explained the details regarding the reading of the will to a dismayed Esme. Neither of us elaborated on it, I'm sure for fear of what we might say. It's not like I could bitch to Cullen's fucking mother about the fact I was stuck with his pretentious ass for a fucking year. Jesus Christ, I still couldn't get over the fact this was happening. What the fuck were Ben and Ang thinking?

I was in a daze, clinging to the warm, wonderful memories of my best friends, while other negative memories from my past were trying valiantly to surface since this whole deal exploded in our faces.

This whole moving in for a year thing was going to test my limits, all my boundaries and my self-control. I was used to being alone, I made the mistake of relying on people in the past, and they always let me down. I only had Ben and Ang in my life for a reason, because they were the only ones who understood my need to be independent. At least I thought they did, but, that was before they saddled me with Edward fucking Cullen for an entire fucking year.

My life after Charlie died was one of solitude, I didn't want to get close to people. I only wanted to rely on myself, I didn't like what happened when people left. They always left, or died, or in my fucking case, left me for another man. I couldn't trust my own judgement anymore. I had such a shitty track record with my relationships, I had no close friends besides Ben and Ang. It was as if their fear of me being alone was realized in the instant they died. I was alone except for Robby, who I adored with all my heart. I was going to miss them so much.

I had to wonder if the Cullen family was in a way their final gift to me, like a family I never really got to have... I was certain that probably had a lot to do with why Ben and Ang loved them so much. The Cullens fulfilled a family need that they had never experienced. I loved that as well, but dammit, Cullen had to be like the black sheep brother I didn't like. I was going to need to figure out a way to keep the walls that I had so strongly built, up. I knew it wouldn't be hard with Cullen, he drove me nuts, but his family would be a whole other story.

Over the next few days I moved my stuff from my house to Ang and Ben's, feeling like I was on autopilot, a thick fog of disbelief hanging over my head. It was never discussed, but Cullen got the guest room by default. I took the master because it was closer to Robby's room and since ultimately, I was going to be responsible for his well being, I decided to take that room. Cullen could fuck right off if he didn't like it.

It was so strange moving their things into boxes, making room for my own, but I wanted to save it all for Robby for when he was older. That was a hard day. Esme had to sit with me for a while, I was so overcome with grief again for the loss of my friends.

She had decided to stay and help me until I got settled in and then after Cullen got finished moving his stuff in over the coming weekend, she would head back to her home and let us establish a routine.

I still had another ten days of vacation time to work out details like daycare and Cullen and I had yet to have a sit down and discuss what the fuck we were going to do about this... this... _situation_.

On her final day with Robby and I, Esme asked me if we could sit and have tea, possibly chat for a bit. How could I refuse? She was a lovely woman and had helped me so much over the past week.

"Bella," she said softly, after we had sat down with our tea, "I know the coming year is going to be hard for you and for my son. Carlisle and I want you to know that we're here for you. For _both_ of you. Just because Edward is our son does not mean we won't be willing to listen to anything you might need help with or need to vent about."

I was watching her face, and she seemed torn between wanting to be motherly and wanting to be a friend. Her eyes showed the clear awkwardness of the current situation. I felt really bad for her and decided to let her off the hook.

"Esme, I appreciate your offer and I know Edward is your son, of course he's important to you. I also know what an awkward position this all puts you and Carlisle in. I promise you, I am going to try and do my best to make my best friends' wishes happen," I said sincerely, I also tried to be sure she could sense that I truly was going to give it my all.

"Oh Bella, my heart breaks for you, I know Angela and Ben must have had a reason why they needed this to happen, I know Edward will give it his best. Don't worry dear, he is nothing if not dedicated," she said, rubbing my hand in hers, as she gave me a warm smile.

"Thanks Esme, and thanks so much for all your help over this past week. Robby and I will be on our own tonight for the first time, I hope I don't screw up," I said, laughing lightly, trying to make light of the fact I was kinda scared shitless.

"Listen Bella, you'll be fine, you can do this. If you have any trouble at all, I want you to feel free to call me at any time of the day or night. I'll help in whatever way I can," she answered sweetly. Clearly her confidence in me outweighed my own.

"Also, I want to tell you that Alice has offered to let Robby come to her child care center, I know you are considering your options there. I hope you'll let us help with that as well dear," she added, looking at me with hopeful eyes.

"She would? She has? Oh my God, that would be the answer to the hardest decision for me Esme. I mean I had no clue what I was going to do, Ang was going to be a stay-at-home mom, now he'll be in child care. It would make me feel so much better knowing he was with your family as opposed to a child care center where I was taking a chance on the kind of care he'd be receiving," I answered with relief in my voice.

Looking at her warm smile, her green eyes staring into mine, I wished for the first time in a long time that my own mother was still alive. I missed the connection that mothers and daughters have. I adored Esme, but ultimately, she was Cullen's mom, not mine, and her alliance would always lie with him. Not that I expected her to have to take sides, it was just smart of me to remember that she was not my mother.

"Thank you so much Esme, tell Alice I accept, gratefully. I'll call her next week to set up a time to go see the center and figure out the details then," I said excitedly.

After taking a small sip of the tea, I looked up at Esme, she looked like she was struggling with something on her mind. I asked worriedly, "Esme, are you alright? Is there something wrong?"

"Oh no dear! Nothing is wrong per se, I just feel as though it may be a good time to give you an insiders view of my son..." she replied nervously, looking down at her hands, biting the edge of her lip in worry.

"Oh? Okay," I answered cautiously. Oh god, did I fucking want to hear this?

Clearing her throat she looked directly at me and said confidently, "I think I should just say a few things Bella and then leave the rest for Edward to share with you as he sees fit. Edward is very strong-willed, he's usually pretty good-natured and always was the practical child. He drove his brother and sister insane with his logical thinking. Edward's opinionated, I'm certain you've seen that side of him. I do want you to try and see past his steely outer shell, inside he's a loving young man who, when he gives his heart, it's his whole heart. I know he loves Robby already, you need to know this. He will never ever forsake that little boy, not ever."

"Edward has had some troubles with relationships in the past, and now he seems to have convinced himself that he will be single and free for the rest of his life. This year and frankly, his future life with Robby, may make Edward see just how wrong he is."

I gazed back at her wondering if I should say anything aloud. I opted to just nod, tilting my head sideways and gave her a small smile.

The Cullen I knew and disliked was a jack ass who deserved whatever he got. I was certain if he was as irritating as he was with me, no one would be interested in him anyway. Except for maybe skanks like the one Ang told me about the last time we were together.

"Perhaps I should have kept my thoughts to myself Bella, I'm not trying to meddle, I just know the two of you are going to have some huge adjustments to make over the next few months and I know Edward can be quiet and withdrawn sometimes. I guess I just don't want you to doubt his intentions regarding Robby," she said seriously, as she stood up and grabbed her tea cup and then carried it to the sink.

"I appreciate it Esme, really I do. I appreciate everything you've all done for me. I promise not to forget that he loves Robby too and that he loved Ben and Ang as well," I told her sincerely.

She stood at the sink, looked over her shoulder at me, then said with a smile," I think everything is going to turn out just fine Bella, don't you worry about it one bit."

After she left, I wandered around the house, Robby was taking a nap and I had some time alone. I wanted to enjoy the time I had left, just Robby and I before Cullen invaded the space tomorrow. I wondered what exactly what Esme could have meant about Edward having relationship troubles. I mean I know he was kind of a jerk but I had to assume he wasn't that way with everyone. I mean clearly he and I just didn't see eye to eye. He was attractive, even I could admit that, and he seemed to have a good work ethic along with a strong sense of family. This was definitely going to be a new experience for us both. I again had to wonder what the hell my friends had been thinking. I decided I'd better figure out a way to make it happen, it was going to be hard enough without me feeling like I was swimming against the current.

* * *

Cullen showed up bright and early the next day, he and Emmett unloading a full truck of stuff into the garage and Rose and Alice carried boxes into the spare room while Robby and I stayed in the living room out the way of the hustle and bustle of moving activity. Rose and Alice stopped by the living room to see Robby after they had taken some boxes upstairs. I smiled at them shyly as they came in a sat on the floor next to us to see Robby.

I had Robby in his Seahawks sleeper and I was wearing my faded black and white checkered flannel shirt and jeans. Robby looked so precious in the sleeper, it was one Ang had picked out when they found out they were pregnant.

"How's it going Bella?" Alice asked smiling sweetly, tickling Robby's belly. Her spiky hair was standing out all over her head, she had on jeans, a UW sweatshirt and purple Nike's. She was adorable, no matter what she wore.

"It's still an adjustment Alice, but I'm sure we'll be fine. By the way, thanks so much for offering to let Robby come to your child care center, it means a lot to me," I answered tentatively, biting my lip nervously.

"No problem, you don't need to thank me, I just want to help. And yeah Bella it'll be an adjustment that's for sure, good luck living with my brother by the way, and let me give you a bit of warning... Edward is NOT a morning person, he is a monster before he has had his coffee," she said laughing, slapping her hand on her thigh.

Rosalie laughed as well and added "Yeah Bella, good luck with Edward, you're gonna need it!"

"Ummm... why? I mean is he that horrible?" I asked them, looking back and forth between them, now clearly panicked, my brows furrowed in trepidation.

"Oh no! He's a good guy but let's face it, he's a guy and he's single, been that way for far too long so we're certain he has some biiiiig adjustments coming up in his life," Alice said, winking at Rose and snickering.

"This is gonna be good for dear, sweet, uptight Edward," Rosalie added, laughing all the while. She had her beautiful hair pulled up in a high ponytail and a black track suit on with Adidas running shoes.

I just stared back at them, my nerves at an all-time high, what the hell was I getting into?

At that moment Emmett came bounding into the room. "HEY! Little man! How ya doin' Robby buddy? Ya wanna come see your old Uncle Emmy,?" he said exuberantly, picking Robby up off the floor and tossing him in the air.

Robby was clearly loving the male interaction, he gurgled at Emmett and then as if on cue he burped the loudest burp I'd ever heard come out of such a small body. He shocked himself at the voraciousness of the burp I think, he startled a bit in Emmett's arms. We all laughed heartily.

"Dude! YES! Way to show the ladies how it's done!" Emmett said, laughing with pride. I halfway thought he was going to try and give Robby a fist bump while he was at it. He was just a big kid himself it appeared. I noticed Rosalie watching their interaction with a wide smile, she obviously loved her husband.

Then Emmett brought Robby down to his level and started talking to him like they were best friends. He put his forehead against Robby's and when they were eye to eye he started with his speech.

"Now listen little man, my little brother is gonna be living with ya now, he loves ya man, but have pity on him, he hasn't been around too many pipsqueaks and might not know exactly what's expected. Give him a run for his money Robby, yeah buddy, you tell old Edward to quit being such a lump on a log," he said in a sing song voice, in Robby's face.

Robby just gazed adoringly at Emmett, you'd think the kid knew exactly what he was saying. If he didn't, I sure as fuck did. Cullen was an uptight lump on a log but he loved Robby. Okay, I could deal with that right?

"Emmett, put the poor kid down, Jesus how old are you?" I heard Cullen say sarcastically from the entry way. Oh fuck, I wondered how much of Emmett's conversation he'd overheard.

I stiffened then turned and looked. There he stood, leaning against the wall of the entry way, jean-clad legs crossed over at the ankle, black worn-out Doc Martins on his feet. His hair was a mess and the black long-sleeved thermal Henley he had on was pushed up at the sleeves to his elbows. He really was pretty, Ang was right. Too bad he was such a fucktard.

"Come on Emmett, you can play later man, we have a shit-ton of stuff to unload. Alice, Ro, you comin'?" Cullen asked, his head tilted sideways, a small smirk on his face. He didn't look at me once.

"Awww Edward, I was hanging with Robby, man, can't I have a few more minutes, you'll get to see him every day," Emmett whined, his face scrunched up in a pitiful pose. His hands were giant holding Robby up and turning towards Cullen, his jeans and gray t-shirt fitting tight against his large frame. He was huge, not fat, just big, angular and full of muscle.

"Emmett, come on man, I'm sure Bella will need to lay him down for a nap sometime and she doesn't need us bumping around in the hallways and making a lot of racket. Let's get it done so you can work your magic skills in the kitchen for dinner," Cullen answered Emmett in a wishful voice.

Wow, was Cullen actually thinking of someone else? Well even if it was only really Robby he was worried about, that was a good thing.

They all turned and looked at me, I smiled at Emmett and said nicely, "Emmett, he's right, Robby is going to need a nap in about an hour so it might be wise to get a move on."

Emmett gave a deep dramatic sigh, causing Rosalie and Alice to laugh out loud. He was quite the drama king. Then he laid Robby down on his blanket to play. Rosalie shook her head and gave me a sweet smile and said, "Bella, we'll help unload the small stuff and then afterward we'll make dinner for everyone. Emmett brought all the ingredients for his specialty, stromboli. You'll love it. Is that okay? I mean you don't already have plans do you?"

I looked down, staring at my fingers, feeling self-conscious all the sudden. Plans? No, I didn't have plans. My only friends were dead now and their son was my number-one priority. I had no plans.

"Nope. No plans. Dinner would be nice," I said softly, my head still down, my eyes damp with the tears I held back.

It was quiet for a moment, then I heard Cullen clear his throat. I heard them leave the room and as I glanced up I saw Rosalie still standing there.

"Bella, I'm so sorry, I may have sounded flippant with you just then, I was clearly not thinking," she said sympathetically as she walked towards me to put her hand on my shoulder. Her eyes held the promise of a gentle soul. I liked her already.

"Oh, it's okay Rosalie, I'm fine. I'm just not used to everything yet," I offered, shrugging my shoulders gently, I knew she meant no harm.

"Okay then, I'm gonna go help them and we'll be done quicker than you can imagine. Then we'll get started on dinner. Is it alright if Jasper comes when he is done with his meeting? I know Alice meant to ask if you minded," she added pensively.

"Oh no, I don't care if Jasper comes, I mean this is part Edward's house now too. If he wants his family for dinner, it's fine by me," I said strongly but sweetly, shrugging my shoulders. I didn't want her thinking I minded, nor did I want her to think I planned on telling Cullen who he could and couldn't have in the house. I meant it, it was his house too. As much as the thought of that terrified me, fucking drove me insane even, it was true. I had to make sure I was clear.

She smiled gently and headed out the front door to help. Meanwhile Robby started to fuss on the floor so I took him in to feed him a bottle and rock him to sleep.

By the time Robby was fed, burped, changed and in his crib, Cullen and his merry band of movers had finished up their work. I had to admit, they were much quieter than I thought they'd be.

As I made my way downstairs I could hear light laughter in the kitchen and the clanking of dishes being moved around. I stopped for a moment, wondering if I should intrude. I was so torn, I didn't want them to feel weird and yet I didn't want to feel weird either. Fuck, what to do. I opted to grab a book and headed into the living room to sit and read for a bit. I sat on the cozy chenille couch and covered my legs with an afghan. I started reading and for the first few minutes I was still hearing their muted conversations in the kitchen, then I became immersed in my book then the noise was gone and the book was in control.

I'm not sure how long I sat reading, but, suddenly I heard a throat clear and I looked up to see Cullen leaning in the doorway again, looking at me with a small smile.

I gave him a tepid smile back and he said nervously, "Bella... um... yeah, do you think I could sit down here and we could talk?" His eyebrow quirked in question.

"Sure, have a seat, it's your house too," I said flatly, looking at him wondering how the fuck this was going to go since every time he and I tried to talk it ended up in a fight of some kind.

He walked towards me, I tried not to look at him, he made me so nervous all the sudden. He sat down on the opposite end of the couch and faced me.

"Bella, I think maybe we should discuss a few things don't you? I mean this is going to be hard at first but, I for one, am totally committed to making it work for Robby's sake. I hope you are too," he said seriously, his brows furrowed together.

"Of course I'm committed Cullen, I would never disrespect the final wishes of my best friends or do anything that might jeopardize Robby's future!" I exclaimed, feeling my ire rear up. What was it about this guy anyway, he just knew how to push my fucking buttons.

"No, no, you're misunderstanding me! I'm not insinuating you aren't committed, I just want you to know I am too..." he sputtered with a deep sigh, then added remorsefully, "Shit, why is it I can't ever have a conversation with you that doesn't somehow go off the deep end and end up in an argument?" His hands were combing through his hair, he was clearly frustrated.

My first instinct was that I wanted to jump his shit, I wanted to fucking kick his ass, but instead I stayed quiet. Maybe, just maybe I was misunderstanding him. I _could _be irrational sometimes.

"Please, can we start again Bella?" he said, looking at me with those eyes, those mesmerizing eyes. Where the fuck did that come from? Oh hell NO! I was not going to start noticing the eyes, fuck no!

I stared back and nodded, not trusting my voice.

"Okay, what I meant to say was this. I want to make this work for Robby. I want to work together for the year we live here, not work against each other. I want to not have any weirdness between us and I don't want you to feel awkward with me here. Like now, you're in here while the rest of us are in the kitchen, you could've come in there too you know..." he said in a rush, his words jumbled together in his haste to get it all out there. He was running his hands back and forth through his hair and down his face, avoiding looking at me.

"Cullen, it's fine. I know what you mean, we'll figure it out. How about if tomorrow morning after everyone has gone and we've had a good night's sleep, we can sit down and draw up a plan. Does that sound okay?" I offered, I was in negotiator mode now.

"That sounds great," he said with a sigh of relief.

Suddenly Emmett came barging into the living room grinning from ear to ear and said loudly "Bella! Get your butt in here girl, you MUST taste my masterpiece! You too Edward, dinner is served."

Cullen turned to look at me when Emmett rushed back into the kitchen, his eyes twinkling, a broad smile on his face. He was trying hard to be nice, I could tell.

"Bella, you have no idea what you're in for, Emmett is the greatest cook. This is a dinner you'll never forget, in more ways than one," he said playfully as he stood up and extended his hand to help me get up off the couch.

I stared at his hand for a few seconds. Then I gave a shrug, took his hand and let him help me off the couch. After I stood up he dropped my hand quickly, stared at his for a moment and then rubbed it on his pant leg. What the fuck, this guy was going to have to get over his fucking germophobia.


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks to my awesome betas GrayMatters and PixieKat7.

Any and all mistakes you find will be mine. They try to help me but sometimes I just suck **;~)**

Fuck count: 21

Special thanks to Nikita2009 and Katinki for pre-reading.

I love fun reviews or interesting questions... I send out a teaser but only one person gets it. So leave a review, you never know, it might be you!

**Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight related characters you see below. The words are mine.**

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**CHAPTER 7  
**  
After everyone had gone home and Cullen had cleaned the kitchen, I was getting Robby ready for bed when I heard footsteps in the hallway. They stopped at Robby's door and I looked up knowing Cullen was standing there. He gave me a gentle smile, his eyes twinkling as he walked tentatively in the room and looked down at Robby on the changing table.

"Hi Robby... how are ya buddy?" he said, grabbing Robby's little hand and giving it a small shake.

Robby cooed at Cullen, while smiling brightly.

"Robby, you be a good boy for Bella and go to sleep now, dream of wonderful things... dream of your Mom and Dad holding you close..." he whispered softly, as he looked up at me with a small smile.

I smiled back at him, staring at him, thinking to myself that his eyes sure were beautiful. _WHAT! _No, no, no, must not go there, stay away from the eyes. My eyes got big and looked down quickly, but not before I saw Cullen give me a look that clearly showed he had noticed my small freak out.

He cleared his throat, stepped back from the changing table quickly, letting go of Robby's hand and said gruffly, "I think I'm gonna head to bed now Bella, was there anything you needed my help with?"

I shook my head, not trusting my voice, and Cullen turned and started to walk out the door. He stopped quickly, gave a small half turn and wished me a good night.

"Goodnight to you too," I answered softly.

I put Robby to bed and then went to my room to get settled for the night. I figured I had about three or four hours before he was going to wake up to eat. I quickly hopped into bed, made sure the baby monitor was on, then fell asleep almost immediately.

I was correct in my assumption Robby would be awake soon, three and a half hours later, I could hear him crying through the baby monitor. I gave a small groan, whipped the warm blue down comforter back, grabbed my black fleece robe and shoved my feet into fuzzy leopard print slippers. I headed into his room, turned on the small nightlight and picked him up to soothe him. As I stood there comforting him and singing softly into his ear, I heard a small noise behind me.

Cullen stood in the doorway, dressed in black and white flannel pajama pants and a white t-shirt, his messy hair even more askew, glasses on his face. Whoa, I didn't know he wore glasses. He looked very confused.

"What's wrong with him Bella? Why is he crying? Do we need to take him to the doctor or something?" he asked, as he came into the room, his voice concerned and somewhat frantic.

I had to give a small chuckle, obviously Cullen hadn't been around many three month old babies before.

"Um, no, he's fine Cullen. Nothing a clean diaper and a bottle won't cure, I promise," I said, chuckling softly.

"What! You mean he just wakes up like this in the middle of the night? You have to feed him and change him and everything? Oh hell! No freaking way? When do you sleep?" he fired back at me, voice somewhat confused, his face alive with question.

"Um, yeah, Cullen he is a baby, they require middle of the night feedings and diaper changes. Let me guess, you haven't been around too many babies have you?" I said gently, my eyebrow quirked in waiting.

As I watched him, waiting for him to reply, he ran his hands through his hair roughly, emitted a deep sigh and said quietly, "Uh, no. Is it that obvious?"

"I understand Cullen, don't worry, I've got this one," I said with mirth, shaking my head and smiling to myself.

"Bella, somehow this doesn't seem fair to you... how's this going to work? You'll have to go back to work soon, I have to work, we're going to need to figure this all out," he said, words jumbling together in his haste to make his points as his hands were flying through the air in front of him. I noticed he talked with his hands. A lot.

"Look Cullen, we can't have this discussion at three a.m., I need to feed him and change him and get him back to bed. How about we discuss it tomorrow, okay?" I asked gently, looking up at him through my eyelashes.

"Oh! Yeah, sorry, yeah, we can talk tomorrow. Right now though, what can I do to help?" he asked sincerely, looking into my eyes.

He was being nice, thoughtful, helpful, it kind of worried me, this wasn't the Cullen I knew.

He noticed my hesitation and added quickly "How about I go get a bottle out of the fridge and warm it for you while you change him? Would that help?"

I smirked at him, then said sarcastically, "You just don't want to have to change the poopy diaper right?"

"HE POOPS AT NIGHT! Oh my God, seriously?" he exclaimed, his eyes big as saucers behind his glasses, his eyebrows disappearing into his hairline.

I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing, startling Robby and making him cry. He was hungry and poopy and I was taking way too long to get the show on the road.

"Fuck yeah he poops at night Cullen. You should know, when you gotta go you gotta go. I'll take you up on getting the bottle for me, make it quick, he's getting desperate for nourishment here," I said, sarcasm and laughter dripping from my words.

Cullen scrambled away from me and headed to the kitchen as I started to pull Robby's sleeper off to change his diaper. I hollered, reminding him not to make the bottle too hot.

As I finished diapering Robby, Cullen came walking back into the room, thrusting the bottle towards me. His hand touched mine and I again noticed him wipe his hand on his leg afterwards, shaking his hand as if it were asleep before it touched his pants.

What the fucking hell was that about anyways? Jeez, I was going to have to work up the nerve to ask him about his germ issue over the coming year. I wasn't going to get stuck changing every fucking poopy diaper.

I sat down in the rocker and fed Robby his bottle, humming softy while he ate. I looked up and noticed Cullen watching us intently, his face soft and gently smiling.

"You can head back to bed Cullen, I've got it from here. He should sleep until six or seven so rest while you can, feel free to wear earplugs if you want to sleep later than that," I offered, staring at him as I spoke.

"Oh, okay then, if you're sure you won't need my help?" he answered quietly.

I shook my head no and he turned and headed back to his room. As I sat there, I thought again of his comments tonight about Robby and had to hold back a chuckle. What a tool. As if babies don't poop whenever the fuck they need to. Holy hell, that was funny as fuck.

I burped Robby and gently rubbed his back, continuing to hum the song and then finally got up and put him in his crib again. I headed back down to my room and got into bed, falling asleep quicker than I thought I would.

A few hours later, I was awoken by the soft sounds of someone talking coming through the baby monitor. It was Cullen, he was in Robby's room. What the hell, how had I missed Robby waking up?

"Hey buddy, you wake up again?" he said sweetly, whispering to Robby.

"How about I take care of this diaper and feeding so Bella can sleep, does that sound okay Robby? Yeah? You okay with that little man?"

I lay in my bed smiling, listening intently, this was going to be fun.

"So Robby, what do I do first?" Edward whispered conspiratorially.

"Should I change your diaper, huh? I guess I will Robby, yes, I will," he sing-songed in a goofy fucking voice. Jesus fucking Christ, this shit was hysterical!

"Oh! Oh my hell kid, say it ain't so man? Please for the love of God... oh Jesus Christ Robster, you pooped again? How does that happen?" he exclaimed softly, his voice panicked.

I decided I was going to lay here and listen a bit more before going in to help if he needed it. Clearly he was not aware of the baby monitor. I started to chuckle softly to myself.

I could hear the sounds of stuff being moved around and Robby softly cooing at Cullen. So far so good. I'd let this continue.

"Robster, dude, you smell! That is no fucking...errr I mean that is no way to attract the ladies, man! You gotta smell nice if you want to get a chick to notice ya, trust me, they don't like the smell of shit, no they don't, not at all," he said, again in a sing song silly voice.

I covered my mouth with the pillow to hide my laughter.

"Okay, lemme think, how do we do this Robster? Do I take the diaper off before I use those wet thingies to clean you or do I leave it part way on? Shit man, I wish you could talk..."

"I know, I'll move the diaper, I'll put a wash cloth under your bum, yes I will, I sure will. Oh, dude, you are a fucking mess little man. What the hell... what is she feeding you man? Gah!"

I snickered some more, I was loving every fucking minute of the poop experience Cullen was currently engrossed in. Oh welcome to the world of baby shit Cullen, nothing better than this right now.

"Okay Robster, here we go, oh no man! Don't squirm, that makes it move around..._EWWW_, not your foot, oh man, not your foot! Now we gotta clean your foot too! Oh. My. God!"

I seriously about died, I laughed into the pillow, tears coming out of my eyes. Poor Robby, Cullen was having quite the experience!

"Foot cleaned, whew, that was close. Okay, now the butt, eww, you stink so fucking much, eww, Robster, almost done. Okay, all clean, now let's do the diaper. How does she attach it? Does that go in front or back little man? Huh?" I could hear the disgust rich in Cullen's voice, almost a gagging tone, if you will.

I could only imagine the state I was going to find the diaper in at Robby's next diaper change. My face held a grin as wide as the Grand Canyon I swear to fucking God. Hysterical, it was fucking hysterical. I wished I had a camera hidden in Robby's room, we'd win millions on any and all funniest home video shows.

"There! All done! Feel better now Robster? Huh? You hungry now? Wanna go down and help me get your bottle? Yeah, let's go do that okay?" Cullen said, again speaking in a soft, sing-song voice.

After I heard them leave Robby's room, I quietly got up and checked it out. There was a mess on the changing table. The dirty baby wipes were sitting on the changing pad along with the folded up dirty diaper. It looked like Cullen was gonna need a class on diaper changing and soon. Fuck, I sure as hell hoped he remembered to wash his hands before he gave Robby the bottle!

I rushed downstairs and ran into the kitchen, breathless in my arrival. Cullen looked up as I rushed in and I saw he had Robby in the bouncy seat as he was washing his hands.

He gave me a smile and said cheerfully, "Hey! Good morning! Robby woke up and I could hear him cooing so I went in to see if he needed a bottle. I hope that's okay?"

"Oh yeah, that's just fine, did everything go okay?" I asked innocently, as I sat down in a kitchen chair. I didn't want him to know I'd heard everything he'd said and done.

"Jesus, the kid pooped again! _AND _it smelled like something died! How does that happen? Is that normal? Should we call my Dad, does he need to come over and check him out? How can that be normal?" his rushed words all a jumble.

I couldn't help it, I laughed heartily.

I noticed Cullen frowning at me, but I could not stop laughing.

"Hey! I'm just concerned here Bella, the least you could do is hear me out. I mean come on, two poops in a row, something isn't right? I'm worried, frankly I don't fucking see the humor and I can't believe you don't seem to care," he said angrily.

I stopped laughing suddenly, really, he wanted to get fucking snarky with me?

"Oh. Well, not to be _rude_, but babies _poop_. It's part of life and frankly you'd better fucking get used to it quick Cullen, you're going to have to change more than a few poopy diapers over the next year," I said sarcastically, as I got up from my chair and scooped Robby out of his bouncy seat, taking the bottle from Cullen's hand to feed him.

His face got redder by the second, it looked like his head might blow off his body. His eyes, bright with anger, narrowed and he stared daggers at me as he said, clearly pissed off, "Well, excuse me for being concerned Bella. How the fuck am I supposed to know? You and your high and mighty bullshit yet again. What are you anyway, some know it all baby mama wanna-be?"

I said nothing. I stared at him as the realization of what he said hit him. I knew he didn't mean it the way it came out, but it still stung. Like either of us had asked for this job. I lowered my eyes to Robby, who was gurgling down the bottle, watching me with his big brown eyes, thankfully we had managed not to yell.

I heard Cullen take a deep sigh, as I took a quick peek at him I saw his head hung low, his hands fisted in his hair.

His head came up slowly and he looked over at me and said very softly, "Bella, I'm sorry. I was out of line there. Please forgive me, I just don't have a fucking clue what I'm doing here and I don't like not having control."

Wow, he apologized, _AND_ he seemed to mean it. I thought maybe the heat of the situation had overcome us both.

"I understand Cullen, I do, this isn't easy on any of us. You, me or Robby for that matter. He has two amateurs trying to be his pseudo parents." I conceded, my voice even, I didn't want to get angry.

I gazed up at Cullen from the chair I was sitting on, looking into his green eyes, I saw sadness and apology in them. You can't fake that.

"So, should we discuss the details of how we can make this work? Do you feel like doing that right now?" he asked me hopefully, with a small smile on his face.

"Sure, why not, we can go over it all while I feed Robby," I said amicably.

He sat down and we began to hammer things out. He agreed to take the first night feeding since he stayed up later than I did, and I would take the early morning one. He then agreed to take Robby to day care, while I agreed to pick him up.

It seemed as though everything would work out just fine. We agreed that meals would be on our own, unless one or the other of us had extra and felt like sharing. We were roommates taking care of a baby. Fuck, this was going to be a long year, living with someone who I didn't really like, but, had no other options with.

I could only imagine how the next eleven months were going to go. I loved Robby though and I would make it work at whatever cost.

After I was done feeding Robby and discussing the details with Cullen, I got up and was going to put Robby in his bouncy seat so I could shower.

Cullen said inquisitively, "Hey, what are you doing? Does he like that little seat?"

"Well, yeah, he likes it. I use it so I can take a shower when he's awake. I don't want to put him in his crib and let him cry just so I can shower. Your mom showed me the bouncy seat trick," I answered with a grin.

"Oh, well I could maybe play with him while you showered, if you wanted me to?" he offered genuinely, looking over at me with a warm smile.

"Uh, sure, why not. Robby would probably like that better anyway. I'll just head up to my room, you can do whatever with him then," I said gratefully, as I stood and got ready to head to my room.

"Alright, Robster and I will go play in his room for a bit," he offered sweetly, his smile wide as he looked at Robby.

We both climbed the stairs to the bedrooms and as I turned into mine and was about to shut the door, I saw Cullen sit down on the floor with Robby and drag some rattles and the baby gym over towards them.

I shut my door and started to get undressed when I realized I could hear Cullen talking again over the baby monitor.

"Oh man Robster, that was close," he whispered, "I almost lost it there with Bella, yes I did," he sing-songed, as Robby cooed playfully in the background.

"She is a fiery one, she is, I let her drive me nutso Robster. I need to figure out how to not do that little man."

Me? Fiery? I've been called a lot of things in my life, but, fiery has never been one of them. Hmmmm... I was going to listen a bit longer, who knows what I might hear.

"Robster, what am I gonna do man? How is this gonna work? Huh, how's it gonna work little man? Do you think I can do it? You do? Ohhh, yeah I can do it, sure I can.." he said to Robby, as Robby was giving a little giggle.

I could only imagine the faces Cullen was making while he was talking. I sat there grinning, but, suddenly I felt bad. Obviously Cullen had no idea I could hear him, it didn't seem fair to eavesdrop like that on his musings.

I quickly grabbed my change of clothes, went into the master bathroom and started the shower. I needed to be a better person than that, Ang and Ben would have wanted me to be, hell I even fucking wanted to be.

* * *

**A/N:**  
Check this link out and go nominate some under loved/under reviewed stories.  
We all know there are thousands of stories that are fabulous, that for whatever reason, don't get the recognition they deserve.  
Go now and nominate your faves that have under a thousand reviews!  
http:/inspiredfanficawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com/


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks to my awesome betas GrayMatters and PixieKat7.

Any and all mistakes you find will be mine.

Fuck count: 23

Special thanks to Nikita2009 and Katinki for pre-reading, your advice is invaluable!

I sent a teaser to quite a few reviewers last week... you ready to see what it was all about? Enjoy it everyone and thanks for reading!

**Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight related characters you see below. The words are mine.**

**CHAPTER 8**

The first two weeks after Edward moved in went by in a blur. Everything was going excellently, it was as if we were a well-oiled machine. He was true to his word about the night feeding and taking Robby to daycare...until this week.

It was the end of my second week back at work since Edward and I had started to cohabitate. I came home with Robby in tow from Alice's daycare center. Robby had the sniffles and was very fussy. Alice had told me it was normal, that all babies new to daycare environments got sick a few times at first, until they got acclimated. I felt so damn sorry for him, he was warm and seemed to be running a bit of a temperature. What a way to spend a fucking Friday night, right?

The house was dark and it appeared Edward wasn't home from work yet. I walked in to the kitchen, turned on the kitchen light and set our stuff down on the table and when I did, I noticed the note.

Bella-  
Gone to Tanya's for the night.  
Won't be able to take the night feeding tonight and maybe not tomorrow night either.  
Later-  
Cullen

What? He was fucking abandoning me? For the whole damn weekend? With a sick kid? Oh man, I couldn't believe this shit. It must be fucking nice to still get to have a life. What an asshat! I kind of hoped his dick fell off, who knew what kind of diseases the skank whore carried in her fuck hole. I was raging mad!

"Well Robby, it looks like it's just you and me sweetie, let's get you fed and changed and see if you're running a temperature," I said to Robby sweetly, hugging him close to me. Poor kid, he just didn't feel good.

We made our way upstairs, I laid him on the changing table and began to change his diaper. His little legs felt so warm, I was worried. I grabbed the ear thermometer and it registered 103.1 degrees. Oh fuck, what should I do now? I'd never dealt with a sick baby... did I take him to the clinic? Did I take him to emergency? Holy shit, where was Cullen when I needed him?

I quickly changed his diaper and headed downstairs to warm a bottle. He was starting to get really fussy now. I wasn't fucking sure what to do. I sat down and tried to feed him. He refused to take the bottle, which only succeeded in him crying harder.

I was a frantic. I was scared and confused, I needed someone who knew what to do, to fucking clue me in. It suddenly occurred to me that Esme would know what to do.

I hurriedly got up and went to the number list beside the phone. I dialed their number and fucking prayed she would answer. Meanwhile Robby's cries got louder. The phone rang quite a few times before I heard someone pick up. I couldn't really hear who it was though, so I just blurted, "Hi, this is Bella, Robby is sick, he has a pretty high temperature and I don't know what to do..."

I could hear who I thought was Esme, say she'd be right here.

I sat with Robby, rocking him gently and continued to try and get him to take the bottle. He took a bit of it, but every few minutes he'd stop and let out a big fucking scream.

About fifteen minutes later I heard a knock at the front door. I walked quickly with Robby in my arms to see if it was Esme. I turned the porch light on and saw two figures standing there. Looking through the peephole I saw it was Carlisle and Esme both. Thank God! I swung the door open hurriedly.

"Oh my God! Thank you so much for coming, I don't know what to do for him," I exclaimed worriedly, as Robby cried in my arms.

"Bella, give him to me and let's have a look," Carlisle said softly, while Esme cooed and looked at Robby sympathetically.

Carlisle took Robby from me gently and laid him on the couch, Robby really started screaming then, his tears flowing in full force. Oh my God, I was in a panic. I sure as hell hoped he was okay.

"Bella, how long has he been sick?" Carlisle asked, concerned, looking up at me.

"I guess just the last couple of days, Alice said it was normal for new kids in daycare to get sick at first... I didn't think it was that big a deal. Today was the first time I noticed the temperature though," I answered nervously, wringing my hands together.

"It looks like he has an ear infection, he'll need some Tylenol for the pain and some antibiotics for the infection. I can prescribe the antibiotics, but do you know if there is any Children's Tylenol here?" he asked me.

"Yeah, I think I saw some upstairs by his changing table, let me run up and get it," I answered quickly, turning to run up and get the medicine.

I went into his room and grabbed what I needed then went back downstairs. As I was headed down the stairs I heard some mumbling, apparently Esme and Carlisle were talking about Cullen.

As I came bounding into the living room and gave Carlisle the Tylenol, Esme said, "Bella, where is Edward? Is he not home from work yet?"

"He left me a note, he's spending the weekend with Tanya," I said matter-of-factly while watching Carlisle give a calmer Robby the medicine.

"He did what! He's staying there? Oh you have got to be kidding me!" she exclaimed, her eyes wide while she looked back at me, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Well yeah, that's what the note said," I answered pensively, with a shrug of my shoulders. I had a feeling I had maybe just gotten Cullen into some kind of fucking trouble with his mother. I chuckled, served him right, deserting me in my hour of need and all. Not that he knew he'd be needed.

"Hmmft," Esme snorted back.

"Now Esme, don't get so upset, it wasn't as if Edward knew Robby was sick like this, I'm sure he wouldn't have left Bella alone to deal with it if he had," Carlisle interjected calmly, before Esme could continue with whatever she was going to say.

"Well, Robby is sick _now_ Carlisle and Edward needs to come and help Bella with him, they're _sharing_ the responsibility of raising this baby," she said firmly, her hands on her hips and her mouth set in a grim line as she stood her ground with her sweet husband.

Oooh! Cullen _was_ in trouble! I kind of felt bad for him, since I did sorta throw him under the fucking bus here.

"It's okay Esme, I can handle it, I was just worried about his temperature and didn't know what could be wrong, that's why I called you," I said, placing my hand on her shoulder and looking into her beautiful eyes.

"I'd say Robby will be fine in about ten minutes Bella. If you just continue to give him the Tylenol every four hours he'll get a good night's rest and then tomorrow he may be feeling better," Carlisle offered gently, smiling at me as he picked Robby up off the couch and held him in his arms.

"I think we'll go now, it appears my wife needs to be talked off the ledge she is currently perched on," he said, laughing softly and looking at Esme with a raised brow.

"I'm not on any damn ledge Carlisle, but your son is going to hear from me if he doesn't check in with Bella before Sunday," she said firmly.

Oooh she pulled the _'your son'_ card! That usually meant big fucking trouble in most families.

"I cannot believe he has just skipped off for the weekend Carlisle without even talking to Bella about it first, that's just wrong. I can understand a night, but then he should be here tomorrow so Bella can have some time to herself as well. It seems only fair and that's exactly what I'm going to tell him when I talk to him next," she said adamantly, looking at Carlisle, her eyebrows raised and eyes bright with indignation.

I must say, I liked having Esme in my corner, she was a force to be reckoned with. It made me smile.

I turned to her and said gratefully, "Thanks for looking out for me Esme, don't be angry with Edward, I'll call his cell phone if I need him to come and help me, I promise."

She didn't reply, only sniffed and nodded then turned to Carlisle and said matter-of-factly, "Let's get going Carlisle, it appears Bella has things in hand."

Carlisle turned, handing Robby to me, saying warmly, "Bella if you need anything, anything at all tonight, do not hesitate to call me, I can be here in ten minutes. Also, if you need him, don't feel bad about calling and asking Edward for help as well."

"I will Carlisle, I promise. Thank you so much for coming over and helping me, both of you, I don't know what I would've done without you," I said, tears of gratitude filling my eyes.

Esme smiled, reached over and pulled Robby and I into a big hug. I felt safe and warm in her arms. I wonder of Cullen would mind if I stole his mother?

"Bella, we're here for you sweetie, don't you forget that okay? Call when you need to, we adore you and Robby both," she said softly into my ear before pulling back and grabbing her purse from the floor.

They headed out the door wishing us a goodnight. As I locked the door behind them to enclose Robby and I away from the world, I realized I was truly and completely alone. I burst into tears and sucked in a few deep breaths as I tried to keep myself from getting hysterical. I didn't want Robby to get scared. I bounced him against me, tears flowing down my face as I went into the kitchen to heat up a fresh bottle and get myself some dinner. This was my life now, I would be fine. It wasn't what I had thought my path would be, but, Robby and I didn't need anyone. We could, no we _would_, do just fine without Cullen for the weekend.

XOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXX

I woke up early Saturday morning to the sounds of Robby whimpering on the baby monitor. I sat up quickly and felt dizzy all the sudden. Oh no, I couldn't get sick too, I had a sick baby to care for. My body was aching, my throat was sore, my head was pounding. Shit, fuck, damn, this wasn't going to be good. How the fuck was this going to work?

I put on my robe and jammed my feet into my slippers, I was freezing. I went to Robby as quickly as I could, he was getting louder.

When I opened his door, I could see his flushed face and knew he must have a fever again. First things first, I gave him some Children's Tylenol and then made quick work of changing his diaper. We headed downstairs and I warmed him a bottle as he whimpered in my arms. He just laid his sweet little head down on my shoulder, poor baby.

As I fed him I was shivering. I grabbed a throw blanket off the couch and covered us up with it. I needed to get warm. After Robby finished his bottle and I had him all burped and comfortable I put him in his bouncy seat and went to make myself some tea. I sure hoped it would help my throat feel better. As I stood at the kitchen counter, I started to feel really dizzy. Oh this was _SO_ not good.

Shit, it looked like I might have to call Cullen after all. I didn't know if I could feel this way and take care of a baby successfully. I made myself some toast and quickly ate a banana while I waited for my tea. Maybe if I had something on my tummy, I'd feel better. I really didn't want to call Cullen, I didn't fucking need him. I was fine alone.

I grabbed my tea and set out for the living room. I wanted to sit on the couch and cover up again. When I walked into the living room I found Robby asleep in the bouncy seat, I didn't have the heart to move him so I put a blanket around him and pulled the bouncy seat closer to the couch. I'd hear him if he woke up that way. I was going to rest my eyes for a bit, they ached. I quickly fell asleep.

A loud cry woke me up three hours later. Robby was clutching his ear, clearly in pain. Oh shit, the fucking antibiotics! I forgot to go get them from the pharmacy. There was no way I was going to be able to pack a sick baby up along with a sick me to go pick up that prescription. I was going to have to ask Cullen to do it. I picked Robby up, holding him close to my aching body and went into the kitchen to call him.

Reluctantly, I grabbed the phone, dialing the number I hoped would lead to salvation. I didn't really want to have to do this, I didn't want to need Cullen's help but I didn't see another option other than calling Esme again and I sure didn't want to do that.

The phone rang and rang, Cullen didn't answer so I left him a voice-mail. "Cullen, this is Bella, I need your help. Robby is really sick and I'm coming down with it too. Your dad came over last night and called a prescription for antibiotics into the drug store, I'm wondering if you'd be able to pick it up and bring it home for me?" I said neutrally. I didn't want him thinking I was fucking pissy about his weekend plans. "Can you call me back please?"

Hanging up the phone, I decided I'd better feed Robby again and then get us dressed in case Cullen didn't get the message and I actually did have to go pick up the prescription. I made quick work of it all, not bothering to shower, just pulling on some gray sweats and an old Billy Idol sweatshirt that was loved as hell, full of holes and worn spots. It was like my security blanket, I adored it.

After dressing myself and Robby, Cullen still hadn't returned my call so I grabbed my keys and headed out to the drug store. What a nightmare, I don't think I'd been this sick in a long time.

I got there and back in record time, quickly bringing Robby inside and giving him his first dose of medicine. After doing so I laid him down for a nap and went to check the answering machine. Still no word from Cullen. Must fucking be nice! A free weekend, no worrying about calling someone back. Jesus, I guess I knew where I stood.

I went back into the living room after taking some Advil and laid my head on the arm of the chenille couch and covering up again with the throw blanket. I'd just rest here for a minute.

I don't know how long I slept there, but when I woke up, I was shivering again, and could hear the sound of a key in the lock. Well, it looked like Cullen decided to make an appearance.

I heard him walk in, then I heard a light giggle from a female. Oh no he fucking didn't? He would _NOT_ bring that skank here! Jesus Christ, he did!

"Bella? Are you home?" I heard him say softly from the entry way.

"She might be asleep Ed, let's just go, I want to get back to my house so we can continue where we left off this morning before we were so rudely interrupted by your cell phone ringing," the skank said in a snarky-yet-seductive voice.

He heard his phone ring and he didn't answer? And he never returned my call? Oh man I hope he was prepared for my wrath! Oh and by the way, fuck this bullshit, I was NOT dealing with _her_ in my house on top of everything else!

"Cullen, I'm right here," I said stonily, as I stood up off the couch to face them head on, trying not to look like the room was spinning around me as I stood.

Cullen's head whipped over in my direction, he at least had the decency to look chagrined, his face red with embarrassment. Obviously he knew I'd heard the skank's comment.

"Bella, oh man, are you okay? You don't look good, where is Robby, is he feeling any better?" he rushed out, his green eyes bulging in surprise.

"Robby is sleeping, I feel like shit, oh and so nice of you to fucking call me back," I said sarcastically, with my hands on my hips and a sneer on my face.

Behind him I saw Tanya give me a 'fuck you' look. Women knew this look, we gave it to each other when we were claiming our territory. She reached forward and put her hand on Cullen's shoulder. A possessive stance if I ever saw one. Yeah, whatever, bitch, he is _alllll_ yours.

"Ed, it looks like she has it all under control here, let's go," she whispered, but loud enough that I could hear, coming in closer to his ear and smirking at me in the process.

My eyes narrowed, I looked at Cullen and said, "Yes, your _friend_ is right, I don't _need_ you now, go ahead and leave."

Cullen stood there, his mouth open, clearly stunned at the display between Tanya and myself.

"Tanya, I am not leaving, I'm going to stay a bit and help Bella with Robby. I told you that in the car. You had the option to stay home, you chose to come," Cullen said sternly, after turning to face Tanya.

"I remember what you said Ed, I just don't feel like hanging out with sick people. I mean come on, I don't want to get whatever they have and I know you don't want to either, babe," she said to him with a purr, her fingernail trailing along his jaw.

Oh my God, she was such a... a... a...a fucking slut! What a bitch, I mean come on, people get sick, kids get sick.

"Tanya, I'm not leaving. It's that simple, now come in and make yourself useful. Why don't you go into the kitchen and maybe make some soup for Bella. I need to speak with her privately," he said seriously, as he glared at her.

"Hmpff, fine. Where is the kitchen? How am I supposed to find everything?" she said sarcastically, her chin held high, her hands on her hips as she turned to look down her nose at me.

"You go through those doors and you can figure the rest out, I'll be in there in a minute," Cullen indicated to her with a wave of him arm.

She stomped off to the kitchen as Cullen made his way into the living room, bravely walking towards me.

"I meant what I said Cullen, you can leave. I don't fucking need you, _WE_ don't fucking need you," I said angrily. My eyebrows were so far up the top of my face, I don't think they even showed anymore. I was so damn mad, I wanted to cry. Oh God, please no, no tears.

"Bella, I'm sorry I didn't call you back, we were in the middle of something when you called, Tanya listened to the message and told me that you had things handled. I didn't realize I was supposed to call you back. I only know there is more to the story because my mom called and reamed me a new asshole for not coming and helping you last night. Why didn't you call me last night?" he said hurriedly, his voice full of remorse, as he looked at me with those magic fucking eyes. God I hated him.

"Well I called you today and it didn't make a difference, so would last night have been a better time for you Cullen? You know, this is not supposed to be all my responsibility here and I'm sick now too, I think we should just forget it, maybe your _'girlfriend'_ is right, why don't you both go back where you came from and then there will be no danger of you getting sick too," I said hotly, my temper getting the better of me as usual.

"I. AM. NOT. LEAVING. Get that through your thick skull woman! Now, you can sit in here and argue with me until you're purple or you can go upstairs and get some rest. I'll be here to take care of Robby and we'll chat about all this when you're better. Clearly I've let you down yet again, I'll grovel in good time," he came back at me crisply, his eyebrow raised in annoyance.

"Fine. I'm going upstairs. The antibiotic is in the fridge, he'll need more at one o'clock. Give him the Children's Tylenol at the same time, the dosage is on the back of the bottle. Do NOT let her touch him, got it?" I said forcefully.

"I got it, now get to bed," he said, his voice deflated, apparently losing all steam and anger.

I stormed up the stairs and got into bed, the fever and chills making me burrow deep into my blankets and then I quickly fell asleep.

A while later, not sure how long, I awoke to Cullen talking with Robby on the baby monitor again. As I reached over to shut it off, not wanting to overhear something I shouldn't again, I heard the one thing I didn't want to. Tanya.


	10. Chapter 10

Thanks to my awesome betas GrayMatters and PixieKat7.

Any and all mistakes you find will be mine.

Fuck count: 23 or 24, one beta added a fuck and sadly I couldn't find it.

Special thanks to Nikita2009 and Katinki for pre-reading, (by the way, they are BOTH great story tellers, read their stuff!)

I sent an Esme POV of the phone call between her and Cullen for last weeks reviewers. If you'd like to have it, review and let me know, I'll send it to you. It won't be posted with the story, so it is just a lovely extra. Can I just say how awesome Esme is?

**Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight related characters you see below. The words are mine.**

**Chapter 9**

This baby monitor eavesdropping thing was going to fucking come back and bite me in the ass, I just knew it would. However, like a junkie looking for their next fix, I was completely unable to stop listening.

"Ed, eww, seriously? You have to wipe poop off his butt? That's disgusting!" Tanya whined.

"Tanya, he is a baby, they poop, what's he supposed to do?" Cullen snapped back, talking to her as if she were the child and not Robby. What the hell did he see in her? I didn't have a fucking clue.

"Well, I wanna go back to my house now, when can we leave?" she whined again. I had a mental picture of her stomping her foot like a pre-schooler would.

"I am not leaving, not until Bella has had some rest and something to eat. When she has, I'll take you home and then I'm coming back to make sure everything is okay, I have a responsibility here Tan, I can't just desert her and Robby, they need me," he said gently, as if perhaps he talked slower, softer even, she might finally grasp his meaning.

Well at least he fucking knew he should help me. I would have paid good money to hear what his mom said to him, I could only fucking imagine.

"Edddddd... come on! Be fair here, we've been here for two hours. I wanna go home now. I didn't realize we had to stay, I thought you were going to just check on her, she seemed to have it handled," Tanya whined, and the sound only made my head hurt more. How the fuck could he stand her voice? Then her tone changed, and it made me want to vomit. "Come on baby, I wanna go home and do bad things to you... I know you want me to, take me home..." I heard her say breathlessly. What a ho. Coming on to him in front of a baby? Holy fucking shit!

I made a move to get out of bed and go in there and put a fucking stop to this shit, when suddenly, I heard Tanya screech.

"OH MY GOD! THERE. IS. POOP. ON. MY. SLEEVE. OH MY GOD! That's disgusting! How can you stand this baby!" she squealed in horror. I leaned over and stifled my laughter into my pillow.

"That's. It." Cullen seethed.

"Tanya, we're done here, I'll call you a cab, take it home and don't ever come back. In fact, I don't want to ever see you again. Robby is my life now. I'll see him as long as I live, I love him, he is like my child. No, he _IS _my child. I will not leave Bella alone to deal with a sick baby, not today or ever. She and I are in this together, it's not going away. So I think this is the end of the road for you and I, don't you?" he said impatiently, his voice firm and strong.

Wow, that was impressive, he just broke up with the skank. I was riveted, torn between wanting to hear it all and knowing I shouldn't be listening.

"Whatever Ed, I don't do babies, and you don't have to be such a dick. I'll call my own cab, thank you very much, and I won't miss you, you smell like baby powder. That's so not attractive. I can do so much better than a pretend baby daddy. Besides, I don't even really like you that much, but that chick Bella? She likes you even less. Have fun with that!" she laughed, her voice full of malice.

I heard Cullen take a deep breath and sigh, then I heard Tanya stomp out of the room and down the stairs, using her phone as she went, calling a cab to pick her up.

God, what should I do? Do I lay here and pretend I didn't just hear all that? Do I get up and go in there and try not to fucking smirk out a _'told ya so_'?

I decided to wait a few minutes and see if I could hear Tanya leave. I lay there and tried to listen but all I could hear was Robby cooing and Cullen deep breathing.

Suddenly a horn sounded, the front door slammed and I heard Cullen exhale swiftly.

"Well that ended fabulously, didn't it Robby? Yep, single again, just the way it should be... I don't need her Robster, I've got you. You, me and Bella, we'll make it work Robby, don't you worry, that mean bitchy lady won't be back, I promise. It's okay if you poop, yes it is, it's okay if you got poop on her too Robster. I don't mind, no I don't. She is a mean, mean lady isn't she? Yes she is, she is mean, mean, mean," he chuckled, as he sing-songed to Robby, who was clearly loving the interaction. His cooing was nice to hear. It sounded like he was feeling better.

Suddenly something happened as I lay there eavesdropping, something in my cold, dead heart melted. I felt kind of like the Grinch in that moment, you know, like my heart grew five fucking sizes as I lay there. Cullen was making plans, plans for the three of us to work together. He hadn't said family but fuck if that wasn't what he meant.

Oh my God, could I have been all wrong about this guy? Could he actually be someone I could be friends with?

I slowly came to the realization that since he was going to try and make an effort, I needed to be on my best - and I mean my fucking _best_ - behavior. I couldn't let him think he was doing it all on his own, I had to show him I was in for the win too. We could do this together. He made a fucking mistake this weekend, but I had a feeling it wouldn't happen again, thanks in part to Esme. We both had things to fucking learn, I could be forgiving.

I heard Robby and Cullen playing with some toys, I decided I'd better get up and put some food into my stomach before I ended up making myself sicker.

I opened my door and went to peek into Robby's room. Cullen was on his belly, his hands under his chin, making goofy faces at Robby who was sitting in his bouncy seat. Robby was mesmerized. He was smiling and cooing at Cullen.

As I stood watching I couldn't help but notice Cullen's ass cheeks in his jeans, saying hello to me. Yes, they were kind of flexing, and it was rather distracting. He hadn't noticed me, thank God. I didn't want to get caught looking at his fucking ass, no matter how good it looked. _Whoa Bella, stop that train of thought, right the fuck now!_

I cleared my throat nervously, then stuttered, "Hhhey guys, what's up?"

Cullen lifted his head quickly, making eye contact with me and smiling gently.

"Hey Bella, you're awake. How're you feeling, did you get any rest?" he asked concerned.

I stared back into his eyes, knowing I was going to have to come clean about the monitor soon, lest it fucking come back on me later.

"I did get some rest, thanks, I do feel a bit better but I think I need to eat something. How's Robby?" I answered.

"He seems better, not as fussy for sure, his temperature seems to be gone as well," Cullen said as he got off the floor and stood facing me.

Suddenly Cullen reached over and put the back of his hand on my forehead and then laid it on my cheek. Oh my fucking God, why was he touching me?

I started to back away, I'm certain my face showing the shock I felt at being touched by him for no apparent reason. I was leaning back so far to get away, I must've looked foolish. I could tell I made him feel awkward.

"You don't seem to have a fever right now Bella, do you want me to make you some soup or something?" he said, lowering his hand and rubbing the back of it on his jeans.

He looked into my eyes, his face flushed in embarrassment. I was freaking out, all for nothing it turned out, since, holy fuck, he was just checking me for a fever. But, he didn't have to touch me if he was afraid of germs for fuck's sake. For as much as I wanted to roll my fucking eyes at this freaking germ-a-phobe, I couldn't be that rude, not when he was being so kind, so I held my eyes still.

"Cullen, you don't have to wait on me, I can get it myself. Thanks though," I said quickly. I didn't want to seem pissy about the germ thing, I wanted to try harder to keep a calm façade.

"Well how about I grab Robby then, we can all go down together and I'll feed him a bottle while you eat something," he offered nicely, his green eyes sparkling at me, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Sure, that sounds great," I said, turning around and heading down to the kitchen.

Once we got settled, me with my soup and Cullen feeding Robby, he started talking to me.

"Err..., Bella? Can I say something?" he asked pensively.

I nodded my head at him, waiting for him to continue.

"I just want to tell you how sorry I am about last night and this morning. I was out of line, my mom set me straight on a few things and I want you to know, it won't happen again. I won't leave you alone like that. But can you make me a promise?" he said seriously.

I again nodded, my eyes staring back into his nervous ones.

"Will you promise me that if you ever need me and you call, if I don't answer or call you back, you'll keep trying until you speak with me directly?" he asked firmly, looking into my eyes with conviction.

"I promise," I answered quickly, looking down to avoid his gaze. He was right. I had been in the wrong here as well, I should've kept trying to reach him.

"Also, I... um... I... well I broke up with Tanya, she won't be coming back," he said apprehensively, his head down.

"Oh, yeah Cullen, about that... I think I should tell you...I sort of heard you talking with Tanya earlier. I woke up to hear you both over the baby monitor. I'm sorry for eavesdropping, really I am." I said quickly, my words rushed in fear of him getting angry.

"I can't say I'm sorry you broke up with her though, she... well... she wasn't really kid-friendly, if you know what I mean," I offered quickly.

I sat and waited for his anger. I eavesdropped on his conversation, it was rude, I knew this.

Suddenly I heard what I least expected, laughter.

Cullen was laughing, hard and riotous laughter, coming out of his gut and making him turn red.

"Oh, Bella, oh man. Did you hear her freak out when some of Robbie's poop got on her? Oh God, I just about lost it right then and there, she's just... yeah she's just ridiculous. As if babies don't poop, ya know?"

My head snapped up, he wasn't fucking pissed? I looked at him, his face flushed, his eyes full of mirth and he winked at me. What the fuck, he _winked_?

"Don't worry Bella, even _**I**_ know babies poop right? What planet is she from anyhow?" he added, winking yet again.

Holy fuck, he was joking around with me! I didn't know this Cullen, the funny sassy-assed guy.

"Yeah, I guess you aren't as slow a learner as I pegged ya for Cullen. Babies poop, sometimes they even poop on you, or at least someone you know," I said, rolling my eyes and laughing along with him.

His laughter subsided, he finished feeding Robby and brought him up to his shoulder to burp him.

As he was patting Robby on the back, he looked over at me with a warm, gentle smile and said sincerely, "I'm so sorry Bella, please forgive me, I hope you're willing to go forward from here, as a team, with me."

I blinked, not once, but a few times, he was so sincere. It was incredibly disarming... a man, not just a man, but a good-looking man, holding a beautiful baby, staring into my eyes with his fucking ju-ju eyeballs and perfect smile waiting for my answer. It was hard not to melt in a puddle of girly goo. Oh sweet fucking Jesus, he was a lethal combination.

He was waiting for an answer. C'mon Bella, answer dammit! I must answer!

"Uh... yeah... no problem Cullen, I'm down with that, we'll make it happen," I stammered, trying to clear my throat. My face got red and I got up quickly to put my bowl in the sink.

"That's great Bella, just great. Thanks for forgiving me. Now if you want to go up and rest some more you can, I can handle Robby for the day," he offered.

I had my back to him so I turned towards him, looked him in the eye and answered with a smile of my own, "I'd appreciate that Cullen, thanks."

He nodded and I headed up for the bedroom. I needed to regroup. I didn't really know how to handle a_ 'nice Cullen'._ It made me very uncomfortable.

I lay down on the bed and got cozy, and as I was falling asleep I wondered how this was going to change things, this me and Cullen '_working together_' thing. It should prove very interesting, very interesting indeed.


	11. Chapter 11

Thanks to my awesome betas GrayMatters and PixieKat7.

Any and all mistakes you find will be mine.

Fuck count: 43, it was 58, but one beta told me maybe it was a little high, even for me.

A personal record! Whoo FUCKING hoo!

Special thanks to Nikita2009 and Katinki for pre-reading, (by the way, they are BOTH great story tellers, read their stuff!)

Okay, there are som Billy Idol lyrics below, please read them, they will come into play later in this story.

Oh and here is the video for the song, watch it, it is VERY sexy!

(dot)com/watch?v=TvjWlPQTOcA

Thanks for reading everyone, and thanks for reviewing as well.

**Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight related characters you see below. The words are mine.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 10**

Cullen and I managed to get into a groove after that fucking weekend from hell. He was nice and polite and we managed to be friendly towards each other.

It was Friday and I was headed to pick Robby up from Alice's daycare center. It had been a long week and I couldn't wait to get home, take my fucking shoes off and grab a long hot bath. My feet were killing me. My four inch black suede pumps, gray pencil skirt and white ruffled blouse looked worse for the wear after an extremely heinous day at work. I knew I was going to be on my feet all day, why the hell I wore my girl-power outfit, I'll never know. Again, my fucking feet were _killing_ me.

Maybe because of that fact, I might have been a bit short-tempered as I walked into the center. Yeah, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Alice was waiting at the check-in station, her smile radiating on her face. Her cute uniform of khaki pants and a red t-shirt looking nothing like the plain clothes they really were, she just added spice to everything, nothing could look plain on someone as adorable as her.

How could one person always be so damn happy though, that's what I wanted to know? Shit, did I mention that my feet fucking hurt? I frowned at myself, I needed to take a cue from Alice, maybe smile more?

"Hi Bella! How was work today? God I love your heels, I miss wearing shoes like that, but they are so impractical here at the center for spits and giggles," she said exuberantly, her bubbling personality barely contained.

"The center for spits and giggles?" I said with a deep sigh, my brows furrowed.

"Yeah, I mean come on I can't really say shits and giggles, even though it would be just as close to the truth as the other," she said, throwing her head back in laughter.

I had to laugh, it was fucking contagious. She amazed me. In the three weeks since we started interacting on a daily basis I had come to understand Alice. She was amazing, loving and kind with a wicked sense of humor and a potty mouth like mine. I think I had a fucking girl crush on her, really I did.

"Oh Alice, only you can make my sore feet disappear with your random funny shit," I said sarcastically, smiling at her.

"Bella, no pain no gain, those shoes scream _take me to bed_," she whispered back to me, winking.

"Well scream they might, but I won't be having any of that for a long time to come. I'm celibate, didn't you know?" I whispered conspiratorially, winking back at her.

She giggled and started to comeback with a comment but just then the door behind me opened and a woman came in. I moved over a bit and let Alice make eye contact.

The woman was dripping in jewels, her blond hair pulled back into a severe knot at the back of her neck, her black power suit fitting like a second skin. Wow, what a fucking ice queen.

"Hi Mrs. Volturi, Marcus will be ready in a second, I'll let Bree know you're here. By the way, I need to speak with you for a moment," Alice said seriously to the uptight looking woman.

"Alice, I think I've asked for you to call me Jane, and I know my husband Caius has asked you not to refer to him as Mr. Volturi, we like casual," the snotty bitch said to Alice, looking down her nose at her.

"Oh, yeah, sorry, I guess I forgot. Listen...Jane, yeah I needed to speak with you about Marcus. I wanted to let you know, he is a bit of a biter. We can't have him going around biting the other children. You'll need to try and get that under control because if it doesn't, then I'm afraid he won't be able to come here anymore. We can't have biters here," Alice said seriously in a no-nonsense tone.

"Hmpft, well biters do run in our family. Our eldest, Alec, was a biter as well. He grew out of it and I'm sure Marcus will too," she said snootily, her heavily made up eyes narrowing.

"Mrs... errr I mean Jane, I cannot allow Marcus to bite. He bit another little boy today and drew blood. The family of that little boy isn't happy."

"Well kids bite, don't they Alice? I don't see what I can do about it, but by all means, if you want to handle it, I'd be forever indebted to you."

"I'll tell you what, I'll work with him here and if you notice it happening at home, maybe distract him and we'll see if that helps," Alice offered kindly. Much more damn kindly than I would have, given the fact that this fucking high and mighty bitch was being rather condescending to her.

"You do that," Jane said to her, effectively cutting her off. "Now where is my sweet Marcus?"

"Let me just go back and see what's keeping Bree," Alice offered, all business.

After she walked into the back to check on Marcus, the fucking snooty bitch turned and looked at me.

"So... do you have a child here as well or are you just some friend of Alice's?"

"I'm picking up my child," I offered, my voice stern and firm.

"Oh? And who is your child?" she asked icily.

"My son's name is Robby," I answered, giving her my best bitch brow.

"Oh! _You're_ his mother? I've met his father, you did well for yourself there. His father is quite a beautiful man," she said quickly, looking at me with surprise and disdain.

"Um, yeah..." Jesus fucking Christ, how do I answer that shit? I sure hoped Alice hurried up, I was entering uncharted fucking territory with this woman.

"Your husband is quite handsome, how ever do you keep him satisfied? I mean obviously, I'm sure you're aware he could have his pick of women," she said snidely, her gaze going up and down my body. I felt myself straighten my shoulders and I held my head a little higher.

What the fuck was with this woman? How the hell did I tell her to fuck off without messing up Alice's work environment?

"First of all, he is not my husband," I started, before she rudely interrupted me.

"You're not his wife? Well now... that _IS_ interestiiiiing," she purred, licking her ruby red lips as if in anticipation. Yes, she fucking purred. What. The. Fuck? Did this woman come from another damn planet and how the hell did I get sucked into this fucking vortex she called a conversation?

"You do know he is the topic of conversation here in the mornings when he drops that baby off don't you? Well of course you must know how gorgeous he is, how much all the women here want him. I'm certain he must be hung like a horse, you can tell me you know, I won't tell a soul," she confided breathily, turning to face me full on as she slid her eyes up and down my body again in a perusal of what I could possibly have that she didn't .

"Um..." I responded like a moron, my eyes darting back and forth nervously. I was not, on any level going to continue this conversation, I was fucking floored.

I must admit, part of me was thinking what the fuck was she thinking asking me such a thing and the other part of me was screaming not to tell her I hadn't actually _had sex_ with Cullen, ever, as in no way- no fucking how. I wanted her to think I'd _had sex with him_. Oh my fucking God, what does that say about me exactly? I'm a dirty, rotten, filthy, stinking, fucking whore, that's what it says.

So I said the first thing that came to mind.

"Well yeah, I got pregnant before I found out he was gay."

As soon as the words left my lips, my hand came up and I slapped it across my mouth, trying in fucking vain, to put them back where they came from. Holy shit balls, I couldn't believe that just came out of my mouth!

She raised one eyebrow, gave a deep sigh while shrugging her shoulders and said simply, "Pity really. The good looking ones always are."

About that time, Alice came out, her lips tightly together and handed Marcus, who appeared to be around three, to his mother.

"There you go now Marcus, we'll see you on Monday sweetie, remember, no more biting. Okay?" she said sweetly, his body turned towards hers in his mother's arms, Alice looking into his sweet little eyes.

"M'kay Miss Awice," he answered softly. He was adorable, the little vampire, despite how his mother acted. Jesus, I could only imagine what the father was like.

The Ice Queen took him and turned to go out with a huff, leaving behind her the trail of my damn words that I'd never be able to get back.

I was wide-eyed, standing there following her progress out of the building when suddenly I heard Alice take a deep breath. I looked over at her quickly and she was literally shaking with laughter.

"Oh Bella, holy shit! You should see your face. I heard every word you said and my God! You handled that so much better than I would have," she said, her voice shaking with laughter.

"Bree and I watched and listened from the back, we couldn't help it. It was like watching a train wreck, you know you shouldn't, but you just can't turn away," she replied humorously, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"That bitch comes in here every day and flirts mercilessly with Edward, it makes him crazy. You just cured that problem for him with your answer. He better be buying you something, and it better be chocolate!"

"Oh my God Alice, no, no, I should NOT have said that. I don't know what came over me, who would ask such a thing? I mean come on, if I _was_ married to your brother, I may have punched her in the damn mouth for that comment, she is either really brave or really fucking stupid," I said hotly, my voice laced with venom towards Jane Volturi.

"No Bella, don't you dare apologize! I can't wait to tell Edward! He will love you forever for that!" she said happily.

Oh my God, seriously, what have I done?

"Alice, please, don't tell your brother, oh hell, he'll kill me," I begged as the door behind me whooshed open.

"Speak of the devil," she said, looking at me, eyebrow raised and a smirk on her face.

I turned quickly, half expecting to see Mrs. Ice Queen standing behind me again. However, much to my surprise and obvious embarrassment, it was Cullen. Oh kill me now for fuck's sake. Could this night get any fucking worse?

"Why am I going to kill you Bella?" Cullen asked, hands on his hips, his head tilted to the side, eyes questioning. He was clearly baffled.

"Oh Bella just cleared up your Jane Volturi problem for you Edward," Alice answered quickly, before I could even interject. Damn it all to fucking hell, Alice!.

"She did? Really, how the hell did she do that?" he asked excitedly, smiling and looking between Alice and I like we were the answer to all of life's little problems.

"She told her you were gay," Alice said matter-of-factly.

My head dropped down, my eyes glaring at the floor. Earth, please open up and swallow me whole. Now.

"She what!" Edward exclaimed loudly.

My head snapped up and I looked straight at Alice with a grimace, refusing to even look in Cullen's direction.

"Seriously, Cullen, I'm so sorry! It just came out... she was in my face asking if you were hung like a horse...I didn't know what to say... it was rude... I was taken by surprise... I just blurted it out... I didn't mean any harm I swear, oh my hell Alice... I'm going to _kick_ your scrawny ass!" In my panic, I scrambled to get a damn explanation out before he completely went off on me. I was continuing to give Alice the evil death glare as I spoke while she just grinned ear to ear, happy as a fucking clam.

"Seriously, Bella, seriously, you just saved my ass! I owe you one for that, what do you want? A card? Flowers? Candy? You name it and I'll make it happen! Thank you so much!" Cullen exclaimed happily, laughing heartily all the while, his eyes dancing with delight.

What? He wasn't pissed? I turned to take a good look at his face, and he wore the biggest fucking grin as Alice relayed the details of my conversation with Mrs. Volturi.

I took that opportunity to check him out. He had on some Levi's with a pair of black Nikes and a blue, red and green flannel shirt over a gray t-shirt. He had a heavy five o'clock shadow, and his hair was a complete mess as though it had been ravaged by his long fingers all damn day. In a word, he was messy sexy. Wait, did I just think he was _sexy_? Oh fuck no, no I didn't. Back the fucking truck up. Not going there, no fucking way.

"So what can I do for you Bella? I honestly came by to pick Robby up so you could have the evening to yourself. My parents have been wanting to have some quality time with him and I thought if you wanted, you could have the free time to do something for yourself," he offered sincerely, his eyes sparkling, his smile wide. God, he had such fucking nice teeth.

Jesus! I must be delusional, I needed to get away from here and take a deep breath. This day had clearly taken its toll on my fucking sanity. I cleared my throat and answered slowly, "I would love to have the evening to myself, my feet are killing me and I'd love to have a long hot bath. If you're sure?"

Alice stepped in and answered for him. "He's sure Bella, jeez, he owes you big time. Go home and take your bath and call me tomorrow when you wake up okay? I was going to ask you if you'd like to go to the Pike Street Market with me in the afternoon? Edward can watch Robby for a few hours so we can eat lunch and look around," she said sweetly.

"Oh, Alice, I don't know.. that doesn't seem very fair to Edward..." I trailed off nervously, looking over at Cullen to see what he was thinking.

"No, Bella, go, it's fine. Robby and I can hang for a few hours tomorrow afternoon, it's not a problem," he said sweetly.

"There! It's all settled. Tomorrow, you and I do the Market and lunch. It'll be fun, you need some adult time Bella, please say yes," Alice said hopefully.

"Well, okay, if you're sure you don't mind," I said nervously, looking at Cullen to see if he was sincere.

"Absolutely!" he said smiling as his hand came forward to rub softly on my shoulder.

Immediately though, he dropped his hand and gave Alice a strange look. She raised one eyebrow at him and smiled. Then she turned quickly to go get Robby for us.

"I meant it Bella, you deserve some time. Go tomorrow and have fun for a few hours, Alice may wear you out though so wear practical shoes, not the kind you have on now. Those are very...nice..." he trailed off, looking down at my shoes, coughing discretely into his hand. What the hell was wrong with my damn shoes? Wait! I think he _liked_ my fucking shoes!

"I'm just worried, I wouldn't want your feet to hurt later..." he mumbled, looking up and at the wall, anywhere but my face.

I glanced down at my feet and then back up at him. I must've had a confused look on my face because he started to say something else but was interrupted by Alice bringing Robby out to us.

Now I'd never know what he was going to say, I probably would have taken it the wrong way anyhow, and fuck him if he didn't like my shoes, even though I really think he did. I liked them, that's all that mattered.

"Here he is! All fresh and ready to go," Alice said as she handed Robby to Cullen.

"Hey Robster! How are ya doing little dude?" Cullen asked sweetly.

Robby cooed and twisted himself all around in excitement. He adored Cullen, it was a mutual thing between the two of them. I had to smile, Cullen was just as smitten with the baby as Robby was with Cullen. It was win/win.

He looked up at me, smiling and said gently, "Go home Bella, have your bath time, relax, Robby and I will be home in a few hours okay?"

I nodded and then reached forward and grabbed Robby's little hand, giving it a squeeze and kissing him on the cheek, whispering softly in his ear, "I love you Robby, be a good boy for Cullen."

"Cullen, tell your folks hello for me okay? I really appreciate this, thanks so much," I said sincerely, looking into the green pools of jade that mesmerized me like a tractor beam.

"Will do Bella, now go," he said firmly with a big warm smile.

I waved to Alice and told her I'd call her in the morning, and then walked out the doors to get to my car.

Once I reached the car and buckled up, I glanced up into the center. Alice and Cullen appeared to be in a heated conversation, I sure hoped I hadn't caused a problem, he didn't seem pissed that I fucking "outed" him even though it wasn't at all true...I shrugged it off and headed home. Warm bubbles of lemon verbena were calling my name.

After getting home and having a small bite to eat I poured myself a glass of wine and went upstairs to draw my bath. I added the bubbles and stripped out of my clothes, my shoes the first to go. I decided to set up my iHome and dock my iPod so I could listen to my favorites in my Billy Idol collection. It had been a fucking long assed time since I'd gotten to rock out to some Idol.

I went into the bathroom and got into the water. I let out a long blissful sigh... ahhhh, now that might just have been a little slice of heaven.

I sipped my wine, laying back in the bubbles and thought about my day. I kept replaying the conversation with Alice and Cullen and the fact that I hadn't pissed him off over and over in my mind in a continual loop. Jesus H. Christ, how much more embarrassing could I fucking get?

Suddenly one of my favorite Idol songs came on. I hadn't heard Scream in a long fucking time. My head started bopping back and forth and I started singing along with abandon. I knew I couldn't carry a fucking tune to save my life, but no one was here, what did I have to lose right? I sang along with Billy...

_'Pretty baby in the back of my car_  
_Look now, you've gone too far_  
_Have a slice of my lemon pie_  
_One more will get you high...'_

Oh I was on a roll here... fuck I loved this song!

_'You took me in the wild_  
_No one around for miles_  
_You ain't too proud to beg_  
_Juice runnin' down my leg_  
_I want a chick who makes me feel_  
_Hmm, closer dear_  
_I want you to be free_  
_I want you lovin' me_  
_I want to hear you scream_  
_I want you just like me'_

I was seriously into the fucking song... singing as loud as I could, bath water splashing everywhere. Man I seriously needed to get laid, this song made me horny as hell, as if I wasn't horny enough already.

Then came the grand finale, fucking Billy Idol was so goddamned sexy.

_'Make me scream_  
_All night, all night long_  
_Gonna get extreme_  
_All night, all night long_  
_Make me scream_  
_All night, all night long_  
_Gonna get obscene_  
_All night_  
_All night long'_

After the song ended, I noticed I'd finally run out of hot water and was seriously turning into a fucking prune. I started to get out of the water and when I stood up I realized I'd forgotten to get a towel. Oh fuck my life, why? I swore to myself, shook off the water and opened the door to the hall to get a towel from the closet. I stopped short in the doorway, standing there naked as a jaybird, dripping on the floor, my hair piled high on my head, and oh yeah and did I say _NAKED_? staring at Cullen and Robby standing on the top stair. Cullen's eyes were wide as saucers as he stared directly at my tits.


	12. Chapter 12

Thanks to my awesome betas GrayMatters and PixieKat7.

Any and all mistakes you find will be mine.

Fuck count: 16 ~ I'm gonna have to work harder for them next chapter right?

Special thanks to Nikita2009 and Katinki for pre-reading, (by the way, they are BOTH great story tellers, read their stuff!)

Thanks for reading everyone, and thanks for reviewing as well.

**Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight related characters you see below. The words are mine.**

**Chapter 11 **

Oh _HELL_ no!

This could not fucking be happening to me. Please for the love of fucking Christ, tell me I am NOT standing here dripping all over the hall carpeting, while staring into the glorious, yet appallingly shocked, green eyes of my housemate. Well,_ I_ was staring into _his _eyes, while his eyes were glued to my tits, which had popped right out. Again I say, this cannot be happening to me. Fuck my life!

"Uhh, oh my God Bella, I'm so sorry!" Cullen stammered loudly, his eyes huge as they finally met mine, his cheeks, neck, and even ears as red as my face must have been, his body twisting so quickly to face away from me I was fearful Robby might get motion sickness.

"Oh, shit! Oh, Cullen, oh my God, I am so freaking embarrassed," I said quickly, grabbing a big white fluffy towel out of the closet and wrapping up in it as fast as I could. "I'm so sorry, I forgot a towel and I swear I didn't think you were home, oh fucking hell kill me now," I babbled nervously, staring at the floor in mortification.

I heard a shuffle, looking up I saw it was him, scuffling backwards towards Robby's room along the wall. What the hell? Did he think I was still naked? Why would he fucking be walking backwards?

"Um, Cullen? Why are you walking backwards?" I asked him suddenly, in wonder and amazement. He looked utterly ridiculous.

"Just trying to save your dignity Bella. It's okay, everything is just fine, I'm just going to put Robby to bed and then I promise I won't bother you again tonight," he offered quickly, his voice sounding as embarrassed as I was.

"I have no dignity left, obviously. I'm covered Cullen, you can face me," I said softly, my words thick with embarrassment.

"Um, no, that's okay, I, I mean we're almost there. I'll just get him changed and in bed then be out of your hair," he offered again, sounding slightly irritated.

What the hell? Was he mad at me?

"Oh... alright then... are you mad at me Cullen?" I asked sincerely, my voice barely above a whisper.

He turned his head quickly to face me at the doorway of Robby's room. Looking directly into my eyes, he said seriously, "No, no I'm not mad at you Bella. Why would I be mad? I just feel bad for catching you unaware and am trying to respect your space, which clearly I have impugned upon tonight."

"Oh, alright then, well I'll just get to my room and please, accept my sincerest apologies for this Cullen," I offered sadly. Fuck, I felt like such a damn fool.

He kept staring at me, I noticed his Adam's apple bob up and down and could see he was trying to decide what to say next.

I turned to walk down the hallway to my room and heard his deep breath followed by the words that made me smile wider than I had in the months since Ang and Ben died.

"Bella, it's me who should apologize, I know I've embarrassed you. I'm sorry I didn't holler out to let you know I was here, but Robby was sleeping and I didn't want to wake him. Please don't apologize, I'm not mad. I hope the rest of your night is good." He stopped and seemed to ponder his next thought for a moment. "By the way, Bella?" he said, his voice a little lighter.

"Yeah?" I said, still embarrassed, turning to face him again. My arms were holding tightly to the big towel wrapped around my body, lest I give him another show.

"You have really nice legs," he said sweetly with a wink, his eyes dancing and smiling wide. He turned quickly then, going into Robby's room and shutting the door behind him.

I have nice legs? Oh God, compared to what he could have fucking said, I'd _totally_ take that compliment! I giggled and went to my room and seriously did not come out for the rest of the night. I contemplated the fuckery that had gone down, and my mortification was so strong I just couldn't face him again tonight. I'd deal in the morning if I had to.

Morning came far quicker than I wanted it to. I heard Robby softly cooing through the baby monitor so I put my robe on and went in to change and feed him.

As I walked into his room, I saw Cullen sleeping in the rocker. What the hell?

"Cullen? Cullen? Wake up..." I said softly as I shook his shoulder.

"Whaaa? What? Why am I?..." he said looking around the room, clearly confused about where he was.

"Why are you sleeping in the rocker?" I asked him, my brows furrowed in confusion.

His face turned red, he looked up at me and said softly " Oh hell Bella, I sat down here to give you time to get back to your room so I didn't accidentally see something I shouldn't again and I must've fallen asleep."

"You what? Oh Jesus, I promise you, I've learned my lesson, you will NOT be seeing me naked again, like EVER!" I burst out, my hand on my hips and my face beet red.

We looked at each other for a moment, both trying to keep it together and then suddenly we were both laughing like idiots. I was clutching my sides, my face hurting from the wide smile that accompanied my laughter.

Cullen, still seated, was bent over, laughing and wiping his eyes. After sitting back up, composing himself and waiting for me to do the same, he looked at me, his face friendly and said, "So you still want to hang with Alice today? I still want to watch Robby so you two can have some time for whatever it is women do at the Market and then have lunch."

"Honestly, I'd love it. I really do appreciate you being willing to do this, I need some girl time, it's been awhile..." I trailed off, suddenly melancholy, missing my friend Ang fiercely.

I was pretty sure Cullen knew where my mind went because he interjected something then that made me laugh.

"Well, you say that now, but, you've never shopped with Alice. I meant what I said yesterday, wear sensible shoes. She walks as fast as she talks, Bella."

We shared another laugh before I offered sweetly, "I do still want to go, but, when I get back feel free to do whatever for the rest of your day. I won't be gone all night or anything."

"Well maybe...and only if you wanted...I thought I could make dinner and we could watch a movie?" he asked quietly, his eyes looking at me expectantly.

"You want to hang out with me? Tonight? Really?" I said quickly, staring back at him in disbelief.

"Here's the deal Bella. I've been thinking about this, really I have, we need to get to know each other better. I'd really like to be your friend. We have Robby and this avoiding each other thing we've been doing isn't going to work. I'd think we should be able to be friends, don't you? I mean come on, anyone who would 'out' me so Jane Volturi will leave me the hell alone should already be my friend," he said teasingly, looking up at me from the chair, his face full of hope.

"Well... okay, that sounds good. Friends." I said, rolling the word 'friends' around on my tongue, like a new flavor of ice cream I might want to try.

Hmmm... could I be friends with someone I didn't like less than four months ago? I think I was willing to give it a try, after all, what did I have to lose?

Suddenly Cullen stuck his hand out for me to shake and said firmly, "Friends."

I grabbed his hand and shook it, feeling the warmth of his palm pressed against mine, my hand felt kind of tingly. After we let go, each of us smiling, Cullen looked down at his hand, the rubbed it up and down his leg. Again, what the hell?

Before I could stop myself I blurted "Why do you always do that? Do you have a germ fetish? Do you need to get some hand sanitizer gel?"

He looked up quickly at me, and then back down at his hand. Then he said cryptically, "No, I don't have a germ fetish and I don't need hand sanitizer either, I just..."

The phone rang, the shrill sound of it startling us both out of the conversation at hand. He jumped up from the chair and said quickly, "I'll get it!" and raced out of the room.

Weird, shrugging my shoulders I thought to myself, no big deal, I'd probably never know why touching me creeped him out so fucking much.

After I got Robby dressed and fed I took him down to play with Cullen. Then I got ready for my day in record fucking time and I headed down to say good-bye to them, I needed to meet Alice in an hour. I had decided on comfy jeans, sneakers a long-sleeved v-neck teeshirt and my North Face fleece black jacket zipped up to just below the v of my tee shirt. I had put my hair up in a high ponytail to keep it out of my way and had on my usual minimal make-up.

Cullen was sitting on the couch, with Robby and some toys in his lap. He had on gray sweats and a white t-shirt, his feet in white socks resting on the edge of the coffee table watching the news on the television. His hair was a mess and he had his glasses on. I felt a little twinge in my stomach at the sight. Mmm... I really liked the glasses.

"Hey, I'm leaving now, you still feel like a movie later?" I asked him cautiously, not wanting to get caught staring at him.

He glanced up from the TV to look at me and smiled, then said, "Yeah, if you want? I was thinking maybe some spaghetti for dinner? Maybe you could pick up some bread while you're at the Market today?"

"Sure, that sounds great, maybe I can find a dessert too, if you want?"

"Sure Bella, anything you'd like. Have fun okay? And tell my sister hello and that I said to have mercy on you!" he said humorously, smiling hugely at me.

I smiled back at him as I bent over to give Robby a kiss on the cheek. "See you boys later, have a good day," I said gently, rubbing the top of Robby's head in affection.

I looked at Cullen, he had the weirdest look on his face as his eyes met mine. Something similar to indigestion problems, frankly he looked sick, his face flushed and yet pale at the same time.

"Are you sure you're alright Cullen? You look like you might be getting sick?" I asked seriously, looking at him more closely to see what might be wrong.

He swallowed thickly, avoiding my gaze and then said, "No. No I'm not sick, I think I'm just tired. I'm thinking I'm gonna take a nap when I lay Robby down for his. Go, have fun, we'll see you later."

I shrugged my shoulders and turned for the door, shouting out my goodbye as I closed it behind me.

Parking at Pike Street Market, I easily found Alice at our designated meeting spot, the brass pig that had been standing by the fish thrower stand for the last 25 years, it was the most recognized location at the Market.

She had on jeans, sneakers and a bright, royal blue down vest over a black thermal shirt. Her adorable hair spiking out all over the place. She seemed to be bouncing in place, looking all around for me.

When she saw me walking up, she smiled big, perked up, squealed and ran towards me in excitement.

"Oh yay! You fucking made it! I'm so glad you could come Bella!" she said exuberantly, while grabbing me close.

"Yep, I'm here, ready to get my shop on!" I said, getting excited to spend the day with someone I thought I could really become good friends with.

"I hope you don't mind Bella, I asked Rose to meet us for lunch. She has some things to do beforehand so she couldn't meet us to shop," Alice said, looking at me hopefully.

"Really? Oh that sounds great Alice, I'd love it if Rose came along for lunch." I answered genuinely. I'd wanted to get to know Rose better as well. She was so sweet to me on the day they moved Cullen's things into the house.

"Excellent, let's get started then, we don't have time to waste!" Alice said excitedly, while grabbing my arm and pulling me forward.

We walked around the market looking at crafts and flowers, Alice ended up buying a huge bouquet of spring mix tulips, daffodils and irises. They were so gorgeous. She picked up a few veggies and such for her dinner with Jasper tonight. I told her Cullen was planning on making dinner and I needed to get some bread.

We went across the street to the bakery/eatery called Three Girls Bakery and I got a few different types of bread. As I was paying the man, my phone vibrated with a text. It was from Cullen.

I read what he had written: *Bella, don't get dessert, I'm making a surprise, hope you're having fun, tell my sister to play nice.*

I replied: *Alice is awesome, I won't get dessert, what's the surprise?*

*If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise, now would it? ;~P* he texted back.

*Fair enough, see you in a few hours then. :)* I responded.

Alice was staring at me intently. I smiled, told her what Cullen had said and asked her if everything was alright.

"Yeah, everything is fine Bella, just fine," she answered cryptically, a strange smile on her face.

"Come on, Rose is probably waiting just around the corner here, have you eaten here at the bakery before?" she said, again grabbing my arm to pull me along.

"Oh yes, I have! It's decadently divine... ahhh meatloaf sandwiches... my favorite," I said, drooling in anticipation for the delight I was about to consume.

"Excellent, I myself prefer the roasted eggplant sandwich with hummus, but Rose always goes for the Reuben, she's such a carnivore!" she said, laughing brightly.

We walked around the other side of the structure to see Rose sitting at a small table waiting for us. She had on another track suit, this time it was red, showing off her beautiful skin and hair. She was so gorgeous.

After we exchanged hellos, placed our orders and sat down to eat, we sat chatting for a bit.

"So, Bella, how was the bath last night, did you get enough quiet time?" Alice asked me sweetly, between bites of her sandwich.

Rose looked over and smiled. "You got a bath Bella? Oh man I love a nice hot bubble bath..." she trailed off wistfully.

"Um, yeah, welllll..." I said, my voice rising questioningly, in preparation of what exactly was too much information.

They both stopped chewing and stared at me expectantly.

So I explained how I got home, relaxed with some wine, got in the tub, blah blah blah, then it got to the point where I had to tell them about forgetting my towel. When I explained what happened I thought Alice was going to choke on her lunch. Rose held it together for a bit longer before she exploded in laughter.

"Laugh it up you two, I was mortified, I still am!" I exclaimed, my face burning in humiliation at the memory.

"Oh Bella, you have no idea, oh my God that is so fucking funny!" Alice said, her voice filled with laughter.

"Holy shit Bella, you had to just want to fucking die right then and there," Rose said sweetly, this only after she wiped the tears from her eyes and pulled herself together.

"Well no shit Sherlock, I mean Jesus, I don't really even know him ya know? Fuck my life!" I said in a rushed breath, looking back and forth between the two of them, seeing their kind eyes and warm smiles.

"So how did my brother handle all of this? Did he freak the fuck out or was he cool? He had better have been cool or so help me God..." Alice said suddenly, her brows raised in suspicion.

"Oh he was nice, as nice as he could be given the circumstances, I mean I embarrassed the hell out of us both. He did tell me this morning he wants to try to be friends though, it might make things easier since Robby is involved and well, we do have to live together, ya know?" I offered, looking at them both to see what they might think or say in response.

"I think that is an excellent idea Bella, Edward is actually a pretty nice guy once you get under his rough and tough cocoa puff exterior," Rose said.

"Well frankly, I'd say it's about time he tried to be friends with you. I suggested that last night after you left I told him he needed to be extra nice to you, especially since you saved his ass from Jane Volturi. He totally agreed with me by the way. He told me then he was trying to figure out how to get you to like him, he really does want to try, and I hope you'll give him that chance," Alice said, looking at me expectantly.

"Of course I will Alice, I mean, he is responsible for Robby too and my God, I need to fucking make things work, if only for Robby's sake, ya know?" I answered sincerely.

Rose just smiled softly at me, Alice looked like she was the cat who swallowed the canary. What-the-fuck-ever, I had no clue what to make of all that.

We all finished up our lunches and said our goodbyes. I thanked them both for a wonderful afternoon, it was so nice to have some friends to talk to. The only downfall was I ended up missing Ang and Ben even more than usual.

I made it home by around four-thirty. I walked in the front door and could smell the most delicious smells. I of course smelled spaghetti sauce, but there was something else there too, an underlying smell that I couldn't quite place.

I called out a soft "I'm home" in case Robby was sleeping, Cullen answered back "We're in here Bella!" and I smiled as I headed towards the kitchen.

I walked into the room and saw Robby in his bouncy seat, Cullen stirring a simmering pot of sauce looking up at me with a big smile, still wearing his glasses.

"Did you have fun Bella? You look like you did," he said sweetly.

"I did! It was wonderful, we ended up meeting Rose for lunch too and I remembered the bread," I said, pulling the bread up from the bag and placing it on the counter. "I got a few to choose from, bread and I are best friends," I said with a laugh.

He looked at me smiling and said, "Me too, I love bread, all kinds of bread. I wanted to take a class on bread making one time, I still might," he offered with a light shrug of his shoulders.

"Oh, that would be fun, I've always thought it would be too hard so I've never even tried it," I said. Making conversation with Cullen wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be after all. "You're still wearing your glasses, is everything okay? Are you feeling alright, did you get a nap?" I asked, concern in my voice.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I did get a nap and I'm only wearing my glasses because I was stupid and fell asleep in a rocking chair last night with my contacts in," he said jokingly. "My eyes just kind of hurt today."

"Oh, well that's good, I'm glad you got to rest. So...I'm dying of curiosity here, I smell something wonderful and wondered, is that the surprise dessert you talked about?" I asked him, smiling widely waiting for him to tell me what I was having after dinner.

"Oh, yeah, it is. I had to call my mom for the recipe... do you want to know what it is, or be surprised and see after dinner?" he offered teasingly.

"Oh no! I totally want to know what you made! The anticipation has been killing me all day," I said, my voice excited and yearning for the answer.

"Well, I think you'll like it, I mean I'm pretty sure you will. I heard you singing about it last night and figured I couldn't lose. I made lemon pie," he answered brightly, his eyes dancing with delight and his smile wide and genuine.

Oh fuck! Kill me now, that's _NOT_ the kind of lemon pie Billy Idol meant and _not_ the kind I was singing about.


	13. Chapter 13

Thanks to my awesome betas GrayMatters and PixieKat7.

Any and all mistakes you find will be mine. Gray went above and beyond on this one, she was recovering from a hospital stay and STILL did this for me! Love you Gray!

Fuck count: 25

Special thanks to Nikita2009 and Katinki for pre-reading, their own work is phenomenal.

Two fics that deserve to be read and that I adore:

A May to December Romance by Positively4thstreet

Land In My Arms by Luckyirishtart

**Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight related characters you see below. The words are mine.**

**Chapter 12 **

I stood at the kitchen counter with what I'm sure was a look of fucking shock on my face. Cullen's smile faltered a bit.

"Shit, let me guess, you don't actually like lemon pie..." he trailed off in a disappointed voice, looking back and forth between me and the pie currently holding a place of honor on the counter.

Oh fuck, how to save this moment from being a colossal embarrassment to me..."No! No, Cullen I love lemon pie, I do seriously. I just want to say, it really wasn't the kind of lemon pie I was singing about...err I mean the kind Billy Idol meant, if you get my drift?" I said tenderly.

I did NOT want this to be a big deal, we'd had enough of those over the past few days.

"Oh! Oh shit! I'm such a..oh shit," he groaned, laughing at himself.

"God, that shit is funny! Please Bella, please tell me you think it's funny," he said, his face reddening, grimacing, while shaking his head at the same time. He gave me a look that was begging for understanding.

I laughed and said humorously, "No, Cullen it is fine, actually it's kind of adorable. I think Billy would be proud, I mean come on, you took it literally and honestly, who doesn't adore lemon pie?"

Cullen's eyebrow quirked up, a gentle smile on his lips as he answered softly, "Indeed, Bella. Who doesn't like lemon pie?"

Oh Jesus Popsicle Christ, those eyes, again with the eyes. The glasses only accentuating them, drawing attention to them. Why the hell did I have to start noticing all this shit after he'd seen my naked body? It only made me feel one hundred shades of pervy. I needed to take a breath, stop looking at the pretty green orbs staring back at me mischievously.

Wait just a fucking second was he flirting with me?... he _WAS _flirting with me!

I felt my face get hot with embarrassment as Cullen stared back at me with that fucking sweet assed smile. Holy fuck, the boy had some magic in that smile.

"Um yeah, fuck, yeah I do like pie. I do." I stuttered and stammered. I sounded like a fool, all flustered.

He seemed to take pity on me because he turned his back to me to ready the bread and get the plates to dish up the spaghetti. Whew, saved from myself yet again. Robby was still playing contentedly in the bouncy seat on the floor.

While Cullen's back was to me, I took a deep breath to compose myself, grabbed the bottle of wine off the counter and poured some into the two wine glasses on the table.

He finished with the bread, served up dinner and we sat down at the table to eat.

I took a big bite and enjoyed the flavors that exploded on my tongue, basil, garlic, tomato, Parmesan. "Mmfph, mfhthis is great, Cullen," I said around a mouthful of deliciousness, trying not to sound like I was going to orgasm right there at the table.

"You think? I can cook, it's one of my few talents, that and managing to embarrass people at every turn," he answered with a big smile.

"I love it, honestly, I can't cook much. I don't have that particular talent," I said in reply, my voice wistful. I'd always wanted to be a good cook.

"Well Bella, come on now, you must have some other talents then? Share. What are they?" he asked me teasingly, looking at me in anticipation of my answer.

"Hmm... let me think," I said between a fork full of food. "Well I can sing in a bathtub pretty well, oh and I can embarrass myself at any given moment, not to mention the talent I have for making people mad," I said with a smirk and a small giggle.

"Oh yes, your bathtub talent, let's not forget that," he said with a chuckle, his eyebrows raised.

"So Cullen, tell me about yourself, what makes you tick?" I asked, now in a serious tone, I needed to steer the conversation away from the tub debacle.

I figured why not, ya know, I mean all he could do at this point was shut me down. Being friends with his family made me curious about him and their cryptic remarks & innuendos only fueled my desire to know more about him.

"How come some gorgeous girl hasn't snatched you up and made you cook _her_ spaghetti and lemon pie?" I said with a smile.

"Well, let's just say I don't have much luck with the ladies. I can't trust my own judgment, which should be apparent, since you did have the dubious honor of meeting Tanya," he said in a somewhat sarcastic tone.

"I just seem to draw the short end of the stick when it comes to women. I don't know how to pick them apparently." He went on, looking up at me through his glasses.

"How about you? How come you're not married?" He seemed really sincere, like he genuinely cared about my answer.

I looked down at the table, where to begin...

"Hmm... you know that judgment thing? Yeah, well I suck at it too. I was living with someone once, for about nine months. I came home from work early to find him in a, shall we say, compromising position. He was fucking his business partner in our bed." I said embarrassed, my face getting hot.

"Unfortunately for me, besides the fact he was with someone else, his business partners name was Sam. Oh and that was _NOT_ short for Samantha," I added sarcastically.

"Yeah, Sam was a guy. Jacob was gay and I didn't even know it. What kind of woman does that make me, ya know?" I questioned pathetically, my shoulders shrugging.

"That I could've dated someone for eighteen months and lived with them another nine, only to get side swiped by the fact he was gay? I'll tell you what it makes me, ten million times a fool," I burst out, it was as if I was cleansing my soul here.

I never discussed Jacob, never. I wasn't sure why I was doing so now either, it just seemed natural.

I took a glance up at Cullen, shock clear on his face.

"See, I told you my judgment fucking sucked," I said, even more embarrassed now that it looked as though I shared too much information, Cullen was certain to feel overwhelmed with all that. I took a big gulp of my wine, looking down at my plate of half-eaten food again.

I felt Cullen's finger on my chin... what the hell? He lifted it up and met my eyes with his own, his face awash with concern, his eyes saddened for me.

"Bella, come on, don't you dare feel like you can't hold your head high here. It couldn't have been your fault that someone obviously used you for a beard. How could you have known he was gay if he was trying to hide it?" Cullen said softly.

"There is nothing wrong with believing in people. Don't think there is," he said to me sweetly, suddenly dropping his finger from my chin.

"Thank you," I said softly, after taking a deep breath and swallowing hard.

Oh hell, why did he have to touch me? I didn't know what to think or feel around him today. That nakedness in the hallway was playing with my fucking brain dammit and I didn't like it one little bit!

"So yeah, funny thing about your story... it's kind of similar to mine," he said seriously, taking his glass of wine and draining it in one big gulp.

I looked at him and waited to hear what he was going to fucking share with me. How in the world could his story be similar to mine?

"I dated Kate for three years, we got engaged on Valentine's Day, it was a big deal. I went all out, spared no expense. I got a beautiful ring, flowers, candy, the whole nine yards, ya know?" he said softly, his voice level, seemingly devoid of emotion.

I nodded for him to continue.

"Yeah, well I got surprised myself when two months before the big day Kate and her friend Siobhan came to see me for lunch. They'd always been close, I knew they were best friends, I just never knew how good of friends they really were." he said stiffly.

"At least she had the decency to tell me before I married her that she was a lesbian," he continued, shame and embarrassment flooding his voice.

I gasped, what were the fucking odds? We both got duped by the same issue! Un-fucking believable!

"She moved to Connecticut with Siobhan a week later, leaving me to tell everyone the wedding was off. Such a chicken shit move really. But, at the time, I was just so stunned, all I could think about was the fact that I'd been played," he said, his voice dismal, remembering another time in his life that was undoubtedly awkward as hell.

"Well shit Cullen! Go figure? We both got hit with the same stick!" I said suddenly, wanting to pull us both out of the funk."Don't you dare feel bad! We both were fooled by imbeciles right?" I said seriously, my face full of agitation.

He started to laugh lightly, then looked at me with a big smile. "You know, Angela and Ben knew my story, I'm assuming they knew yours as well," he said, smirking slightly.

"Yes, they sure did Cullen, of course they knew..." I trailed off, thinking that Angela and Ben had tried to set me up with him knowing what we had in common.

I was trying to wrap my head around it all when I heard Cullen take a big breath of air into his lungs. I looked over and saw him laughing silently, his face red and him clutching his sides.

"What the fuck Cullen?" I said sarcastically.

"Oh shit Bella, think about it, the fact that they knew, they wanted to set us up, we hated each other, oh my God, they must've wanted to kick our asses," he said through his laughter.

After we composed ourselves, I had to think about Angela and Ben. I fucking had to wonder if they'd told me about Cullen's and my shared humiliation, would I have been less reticent to give him a shot?

I'd never know now.

"So, it seems we have a lot more in common that we originally thought, huh? It should make this 'friends' thing a little easier don't you think?" he said teasingly, looking at me with a twinkle in his eyes and leaning forward to bump my shoulder with his.

"Ha! Yeah, I guess we do, what a shocker..." I trailed off, I was still slightly overwhelmed with the information I'd gotten tonight.

We finished dinner with idle chit chat about my day with the girls, not giving away any more big revelations. When I was done eating, I thanked him for the delicious meal and got up to clean the kitchen, explaining that in my world if someone cooked you dinner you were in charge of cleanup. It was the least I could do.

Cullen grabbed a sleeping Robby gently, telling me softly he was going to put him to bed and that he'd be back down so we could have dessert and maybe watch a movie if I wanted.

Did I want? My feelings were all over the place right now. For some fucking reason I was having little moments where I was actually feeling attracted to him. I wasn't quite sure how to handle that. I needed to try and figure out exactly what it was that made me feel that way?

I mean, besides the fact that they guy was hot, he was so hot. What does it say that a guy wearing sweats, a plan white tee and black rimmed glasses can be so damn sexy looking. Especially when you throw a baby into that mix. Damn. I needed to get laid, if

I was finding that shit sexy, there was something wrong with my va-jay-jay. In fact, the direct line from my brain to my va-jay-jay was waaaaay off!

I heard Cullen coming back downstairs and I shored myself up to get serious. I needed to be strong, firm and fucking forget about thinking he was sexy, he was all fucking wrong for me. I didn't even really like him for fuck's sake!

"He's out. Down for the count, sweet kid," he said gently from behind me, his voice full of love for Robby.

Oh sweet fucking hell. No, do NOT use your mojo baby love voice. I steeled my shoulders and turned away from the sink towards Cullen with a stiff smile.

"He is huh? Did you two play hard today?" I asked, trying to deflect my brain from my insane thought processes going on.

"Well, we did play, but eh, he's just a baby so he can't play Play Station yet. He did enjoying watching _me_ play it though," he said with mirth.

I raised one eyebrow before rolling my eyes at him and saying drolly, "Oh, I'm so sure he did Cullen. His life is now complete..."

He just laughed at me, not taking my bitch bait.

"You need to get schooled in Play Station Bella? I mean we can call Emmett and Rose right now, I know he'd love to show you how it's done," he teased.

"Nah, I'm good, not sure I have Play Station in me tonight after a day of shopping with Alice and Rose anyway," I offered, grateful for the change in conversation.

Cullen laughed and grabbed two plates from the cupboard, saying nicely, "You want to try some pie Bella? Or are you still full from dinner?"

"Sure, I'll try some, load me up! I never turn down lemon pie," I said quickly, drying my hands on the towel and coming over to the counter where Cullen was dishing up the pie.

He sliced it and put a piece on each plate, grabbed two forks out of the drawer and gave me one of them. He took a big bite and let out a quiet moan of appreciation.

"Mmmmm... that's delicious, if I do say so myself," he said, his pink tongue darting out to claim the crumbs from the crust that had stationed themselves on his bottom lip.

I found myself staring, his plump lips and pink tongue mesmerizing me. Fuck. I needed to try and pull myself together. I know for a fucking fact I swallowed audibly.

"Aren't you going to try any Bella?" he asked me softly while staring at me with a small smirk playing at the corner of his mouth. Holy fuckballs, he'd seen me staring at his mouth.

I quickly took the fork and dug into the pie, the sensation of the lemony goodness on my tongue, the tartness, the sweetness, the meringue adding a creamy sensation as I chewed. I wanted to fucking moan too but I held my ground, opting instead to say,

"Wow Cullen, this is fabulous," holding myself together by a slim thread of sanity.

Looking over at him as I licked my lips, I saw him now staring at _my _mouth. I felt a tingle go through my body, it was surreal, watching him stare at my mouth was... oh my God, he was fucking turning me on!

My brain started screaming _'abandon ship! abandon ship!'_, what the hell was going on with me today?

I stopped chewing, looking into Cullen's face to see him staring back at me, his eyes clouded with confusion.

He reached forward, took his finger and gently wiped by the corner of my mouth. His touch was... I can't even explain. It was warm, yet I could feel his calluses around his nail bed, his finger rough like a man's should be. I swallowed audibly again as he dropped his hand to the counter top.

"Bella, tell me you feel that?" he said shyly, almost a whisper, looking into my eyes, his face serious.

"I don't know what I feel Cullen," I answered softly. Oh fuck me, what the hell was I doing here?


	14. Chapter 14

Thanks to my awesome betas GrayMatters and PixieKat7.

Any and all mistakes you find will be mine.

Fuck count: Was 48, I dropped some, it's now 45** ;)**

Special thanks to Nikita2009 and Katinki for pre-reading.

Katinki pointed some things out I may have missed, so thanks bb!

I hope y'all like tequila?

**Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight related characters you see below. The words are mine.**

**CHAPTER 13 **

"I, I, I, I don't know what you're talking about, Cullen," I replied defiantly, thrusting my chin up. I wasn't about to go there with him, of all fucking people. I couldn't trust my heart, it had led me in the wrong direction too many times. I couldn't risk it, especially with him, with Robby's happiness on the line.

Cullen stared at me, his mouth hanging open a bit, in shock or disbelief, I didn't know which. I needed to get myself out of there and quick. I was panicked; I looked around the room and backed away from the fucking counter and his glorious green eyes.

"I need to go upstairs now, I... I have some stuff to do. Thanks for dinner. You can get Robbie to bed, right?" I asked stiffly.

"What the...um, yeah, if that's what you want, whatever," Cullen answered, reaching up and running his hands through his hair, his eyes suddenly cold.

I turned and made my way out of the room, holding myself together until I knew he couldn't see me anymore and then bolted up the fucking stairs two at a time to my room. Once inside I shut and locked the door and wrapped my arms around myself, as if to protect myself from the onslaught of emotions. My heart was jack hammering inside my chest.

What the hell was I doing? How could I risk everything with Robby by thinking with my fucking va-jay-jay? I needed to get a firmer grip on my current reality instead of wanting to get a firmer fucking grip on Cullen's peen for shit's sake!

I made my way over to my bed, sitting on the edge I reflected on the events of the evening. It had started out innocent enough, right? I mean I hadn't intended on getting all hot and fucking bothered over a piece of fucking lemon pie. Jesus Christ, who knew I was such a wanton hussy?

I shook my head to disengage the thoughts from my mind. I got up and got myself ready for bed, grabbing my old pink flannel jammies Ang had given me two years ago. They were worn and loved, oh so comfortable. I adored them, they had cupcakes all over them and made me feel like a kid.

I slid between the cool crisp sheets and laid there thinking about Cullen and all the information he'd given me about himself tonight. I know Angela and Ben must've wanted to tell me, but they were the kind of friends who kept good secrets. It was one of the things I had always appreciated that about them.

Cullen and I had so much in common, it was unreal. I had the fleeting thought that maybe if I'd have given him a chance in the beginning, I might not have been going through this now.

I had Robby to think of though, so dammit to fucking hell, I was going to have to put my desires and fantasies on the back burner. But ugh, Cullen, those glasses, that fucking pie... sweet Jesus I was horny as hell.

I reached over into my drawer, I could take care of business and be over this fucking lust for Cullen in about fifteen minutes with the help of my little bunny friend.

I grabbed my rabbit out of the side drawer and started thinking about Cullen, the t-shirt, the glasses, the way the lemon pie crumbs hung off his lips and his tongue coming out to catch them. The way his eyes looked into mine, clearly hungry and lustful himself.

Unf... I reached under my pajama top and ran my hands along my torso, cupping my breast and giving my nipple a light pinch, imagining my fingers were Cullen's fingers.

I moaned softly, pinching and grabbing my nipple harder, my other hand sliding over the top of my pajama bottoms, rubbing against my pussy lightly. I slid my hand down inside my pajama bottoms and into my underwear. I was still so turned on from the events downstairs that I was already soaking wet, my fucking underwear saturated.

This wasn't going to take fifteen minutes, that's for sure, I was fucking horny as hell, thanks to Cullen.

I pulled off my bottoms, reached for my rabbit, turned him on and started to apply a little pressure to my clit. I started lightly moaning, I needed to be quiet, I would die of fucking mortification if Cullen heard me...

"Unnff.. oh my God... yes...unnnnnff... oh yes... yes... " I moaned softly, while pushing my rabbit in and out of my pussy slowly. My legs were spread wide, my pussy soaked and throbbing as I pictured Cullen's green eyes, his crooked grin, his tongue, and the things I wanted his perfect lips to do to me.

"Unnn...yes, yes, yes... Oh God, Cullen, yessss..." I moaned again, while thrusting the rabbit in and out of myself, then leaving it in so it could do its job.

I thought about Cullen's fingers, those long, magnificent fingers that had sparked electricity when he touched me tonight. I imagined them sliding all over my body.

The sensation of my clit being rubbed along with the rabbit's movement inside my pussy threw me over the edge and I came hard. My breathing was labored, my heart beating fast... I was overcome and quickly.

"Unnff... Cullen... YES!" I moaned as I came.

My God, THAT was fantastic! Holy fucking hell!

I lay there, my pussy pulsating in pleasure, trying to get my breathing and heartbeat under control. As I took a deep breath I heard the floorboards outside my door creak.

My eyes got fucking huge! Oh my God! I just knew Cullen had heard me! I wanted to die of mortification. I was never going to be able to show my face again.

Suddenly I had an evil thought. Yeah, so what if he heard me, serves his ass right for his lemon pie, sweats and glasses sexiness. Why shouldn't he be fucking horny as hell too?

I was trying to justify my mortification here.

I fixed my face with a satisfied smile. I pulled my pajama pants on, cleaned and put my rabbit away then settled myself in for some sleep. After that escapade I think I might just sleep like a fucking baby.

The next morning, I was awakened by Robby cooing softly through the baby monitor. I jumped up and grabbed my robe and slippers and headed into his room to get him changed and fed.

It was Sunday and I wanted to give Cullen the day off today., Besides, I really just wanted to have something to occupy myself with since I was going to fucking play the avoidance game with him all damn day.

I knew he'd heard me last night and frankly, even though I didn't want to care, it was going to be embarrassing.

I mean, I seriously needed to get my shit together and try to forget about him on a romantic level, for Robby's sake. I could do this shit!

I got into Robby's room and picked him up out of his crib. I cradled him to me and kissed the side of his sweet little head, saying softly "Good morning sweet baby, are you a good boy? Did you sleep in today? You did, didn't you? Well thank you baby, that's just the sweetest thing ever."

Robby cooed at me, giving me a big wet smile. He was the epitome of cute, he was starting to really look more like Ben every day. It made me happy and broke my heart all at the same time.

As I started to change him I sensed someone behind me. _Fucking Cullen._

I turned my head slightly, looking at him from the side, noticing his sexy damn glasses again.

I gave a small cough, feeling my face turn pink and said, "Morning Cullen, you can go back to bed if you want, I've got this. In fact if you want to do something today I have no problem with that, I'm planning on spending the day with Robby."

He was silent for a few moments, just long enough to fuck with my brain, before he answered.

"Fine. I'll be gone for the day. I need to go see my folks anyway so I'll just get dressed now and see you sometime later tonight," he said firmly, he sounded sort of angry in a way.

I risked a glance over at him. He was staring at me with a hard look on his face. What the fuck was his problem? What-the-fuck-ever dude, he could fuck right off.

I raised my eyebrow and gave him a bitchy look, waiting for him to say something, anything, that I could respond to in the snarky fucking way I wanted to.

It seemed this morning I was itching for a fight with Cullen.

He let out a deep sigh, ran his hands through his hair and down his neck, wrapping them around the back of his head.

He stared at me, it was as if we were having a stare down, the first to blink or look away would lose the game.

I lost. I fucking turned back to Robby, finishing up what I was doing and grabbing him to take him down to have a bottle.

I turned around, expecting Cullen to be gone. He was still standing there looking at me, his face set with some unclear emotion.

He was in my way. I stood there with Robby, waiting for him to move, he just kept standing there staring at me. As if waiting for me to say or do something that I was clearly at a loss for.

"Excuse me, I need to go feed the baby," I said politely, inching my way forward, now face–to-face and about six inches away from Cullen's still form.

"So this is how it's going to be now Bella? All formal and back to the way it was before?" he said sadly, shaking his head. His eyes were boring holes into me, it was as if he was looking into my rotten fucking soul.

"I don't know what you mean Cullen, I'm just doing what I need to do, I need to get Robby fed and I need to do some other things today. I'm not sure what they have to do with you though. I just want to forget about last night. That cannot happen. I can't go there, there is just too much at stake. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get by so I can feed Robby," I said firmly, looking up at him, willing him to move so I could get by without touching him or having to explain myself any further.

He stared down at me, gave a small huff of annoyance and moved aside so I could get by.

I thought I was in the clear until I heard him say softly, almost in a whisper to himself,

"Oh, yeah, there's a lot at stake all right..."

I held my head high and kept on walking. I was fucking great at avoidance, I'd been doing it for a long damn time now.

I went to the kitchen and did all I needed to do for Robby. As he was finishing his bottle, Cullen came into the room , sans glasses and dressed in jeans, tennis shoes and a steel blue t-shirt and grabbed his jacket off the rack by the back door.

"I'm leaving now Bella, see you later," was all he said as he kept his back to me and went out the door in a fucking huff. The door slammed and I startled at the noise and let out a deep breath that I wasn't aware I'd been holding.

Uh oh, he was pissed. Well fuck, what did he expect from me, I mean come on? I wasn't about to take a chance on ruining Robby's life with a little sexual attraction. No way, no how.

I spent the day cleaning and doing laundry, playing with Robby and getting things done. There wasn't one moment that I didn't think of Cullen and wonder what he was doing, who he was with and why the hell _I_ was so fucked up mentally.

Around ten o'clock that night, I heard Cullen's car drive up and I ran up the stairs to my room. I still was unprepared for any conversations with him and my God if he was still fucking mad at me, well I just wanted to skip that all together.

I knew I'd need to get my shit together and soon but I was not fucking ready to do it tonight.

The rest of the week went by in a blur. Cullen and I were like passing strangers, managing to avoid each other whenever possible. I think he was still mad and of course I was feigning indifference. I was really fucking good at that too.

Come Friday, I got home with Robby, was busying myself with his dinner and setting him up to eat when I heard Cullen come in the back door. I glanced up and he was holding a brown bag.

He looked at me and quirked his eyebrow before saying sarcastically, "I'm off tomorrow Bella, I'm planning on getting drunk tonight, care to join me?"

He held the brown bag aloft, letting the bag fall, to reveal a bottle of Patron tequila. I then noticed in his other hand he carried a grocery bag that I could see held limes, chips and a jar of salsa.

Apparently Cullen was set on having a one man fiesta, who was I to fucking slow his roll?

I didn't even bother to answer, it was clear my reply wasn't needed.

He left the bottle on the counter and disappeared upstairs for a while. He came back down in his gray sweats, white socks and a black Dylan t-shirt, his fuck-me glasses perched on his face.

God damn him and those fucking sexy glasses, didn't he know he was killing me here?

I finished cleaning up Robby and went to take him up and get him ready for bed.

Before I could pick him up, Cullen walked over and grabbed him from his feeding chair, snuggling him close and kissing his head.

"Hey there Robster... did you have a good day with Auntie Alice? You did? Well of course you did, Auntie Alice loves you doesn't she?" he said in that sexy, fucking, baby sing-song voice.

I stood there like a deer in the headlights, unable to turn away, watching the two of them interact, Robby grinning and squealing back at Cullen, like they had their own fucking boy language or something.

"I want to get him ready for bed tonight Bella, I missed him today. I hope you don't mind if I do it instead of you..." he trailed off, looking at me with hopeful eyes.

"As if I'd say no Cullen. Go ahead, he adores you, obviously." _Just like me._ Holy fuck! Where had that thought come from?

"He's all yours, I'll just clean the rest of the mess up down here," I said quickly. I didn't want any more awkwardness, especially if

Cullen was planning on getting his fucking drunk on.

He gave me a small smile and headed upstairs with Robby. I finished cleaning up and then went up to change out of my work clothes.

I came back downstairs a while later to find Cullen in the kitchen slicing limes, the chips and salsa already in bowls.

His back was to me, I took a moment to admire his fine fucking ass in the sweats. I could see how firm it was, how... perfect really.

For someone who was trying to forget a sexual attraction to someone else I was sure having a fucking hard time stopping my lustful fucking thoughts from forming.

"Hey," I said neutrally.

He turned slightly towards me, giving me the once over, noticing my black Idol t-shirt and black leggings, stopping to rest on my neon pink unicorn slippers on my feet.

"My God Bella, what the fuck died on your slippers?" he asked sarcastically, one eyebrow raised in question.

"They're unicorn slippers Cullen, apparently you don't like them?" I asked, pretending to be offended.

"Like them? Fuck no, they're hideous, but clearly you like them so whatever," he answered, shaking his head and turning back to finish up with the limes.

I wasn't going to jump to his baiting. I would _not _react. I didn't care if he didn't like my slippers. What-the-fuck-ever.

"So, you gonna do a shot or two with me tonight? I got The Hangover to watch, I don't know if you've seen it but you're welcome to sit and watch it with me while I get drunk," he said, turning to look at me with a smirk.

"I've seen The Hangover, it is the best movie ever. I'm not sure about the shots... maybe..." I answered evasively, avoiding his eyes.

"Well whatever Bella. Do or don't, I don't care one way or another. I'm gonna get shit-faced with or without you," he said seriously.

He turned around and grabbed the salt, opened the bottle of Patron and poured himself a shot.

He brought his hand up to his lips, his tongue snaking out and licking the spot between his thumb and first knuckle. Oh my God, his fucking tongue, it made me think of last week, and the forbidden thoughts that had brought us to this uncomfortable truce in the first place.

He sprinkled salt on the wet spot, licked it off, grabbed the shot, swallowed it down and then thrust one of the cut limes into his mouth. His lips encompassing it, almost in a caress, his Adams apple moving up and down as he swallowed.

How could one man be so fucking hot taking a shot of tequila?

I swallowed audibly, Cullen looked over at me with a sexy assed smirk as he re-licked the spot on his hand, sprinkled salt on it, poured another shot, thrusting his hand towards where I was standing.

Then he said in the sexiest voice I'd ever fucking heard, "How about it Bella? You gonna live on the edge and take the shot or are you gonna hide some more?"


	15. Chapter 15

Thanks to my awesome betas GrayMatters and PixieKat7.

Any and all mistakes you find will be mine.

Fuck count: Beta says it's a "respectable" 29

Special thanks to Nikita2009 and Katinki for pre-reading.

Please read what they write, you won't be disappointed.

Special thanks to SweetPoeticJustice for being a guest pre-reader.

She is my story rec for today, go read her story Gonorrhea Always Ends With a HEA

It's funny and gave me quite a few giggles.

Special shout out to BlackAgurl on FaceBook for always pimping me out on there!  
Thanks bb!

**Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight related characters you see below. The words are mine.**

**

* * *

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**Chapter 14**

Now if that wasn't a taunt, I don't fucking know what was. Was I gonna hide? Did I want to live on the fucking edge?

I reached forward and grabbed Cullen's hand, licking the salt off if it and downing the fucking shot. I sputtered a bit and said through my teeth, "I need a lime."

He quickly slid one over to me, a sexy smirk on his face.

"Well Bella, nice to see you don't always back down from a challenge," he said, his tongue in the corner of his mouth, his red lips smiling.

I couldn't stop staring at his fucking delicious mouth.

"Oh Cullen, you have _no idea_ what I'll do when faced with a challenge," I offered, my voice laced with sarcasm.

I looked up into his eyes, they were full of something that may or may not have been lust. Fuck, what the hell, I was playing with fire here!

He licked his hand again, salted it and poured another shot. I watched in awe as his tongue snaked out, licking the very spot my tongue had just been on, licking the salt away and downing the shot. Then he took the lime into his mouth, wrapping his red lips around it and sucked. He fucking sucked, that was sexy as hell.

His eyebrow raised in question, he looked at me and asked hopefully, "So you want another shot?"

"Fuck. What the hell, why not?" I answered, my voice shaking with nerves.

"Well don't let me twist your arm Bella. So, you wanna lick salt off my hand again...or somewhere else?" he asked with a smirk on his sexy-assed face.

Oh holy hell! Was he asking if I wanted to lick salt off somewhere else on his body? Or somewhere else, as in my own hand? Oh my fucking God, how to answer...

I must've looked panicked because he laughed heartily, grabbed my hand then turned my arm over, stuck his pink tongue out, leaned in and licked the inside of my wrist oh so slowly, lingering for just a moment before he pulled it away.

Oh Jesus fucking Christ the feeling was indescribable watching him do that to me. I know I melted into a puddle of goo at the feeling of his warm tongue running down my wrist and I know he heard me swallow.

He never let go of my arm as he sprinkled salt on it then poured a shot into the glass and slid it towards me along with a lime. He was looking into my eyes, waiting for me to run, I know he was.

Instead, I think I surprised us both when I brought my wrist up, licked the salt then took the shot, feeling the warmth of the booze burn down my throat. I grabbed the lime with my free hand and popped it into my mouth, sucking it for all it was worth, the tip of my tongue coming out to lick the lime juice off my lips when I was done.

His eyes followed my every movement and I heard him take a big, shaky breath., This was affecting him as much as it was fucking affecting me. Good, served him right.

Cullen licked his lips, keeping his eyes connected to mine and said softly, somewhat shakily, "I think I'm going to go watch the movie now, do you want to come watch it with me? I'll share my chips and salsa."

I could only nod, I didn't trust myself to speak. I grabbed the bowl of chips and salsa and as I turned and started to walk towards the living room, I noticed Cullen slyly adjust himself in his sweats. Oh now _THAT_ made me happy, somehow the fact that he was quite possibly hard made me feel better about my own reactions. It made me feel fucking powerful too. He was hard for _me_, Bella Swan.

I felt him behind me and heard the clanking of glass as he carried the tequila, salt, limes and shot glass into the room. It appeared he wasn't fucking kidding about getting drunk.

I was feeling the effects of the alcohol as I it started to relax me. Two fucking shots should probably be my limit since one of us had to be able to care for Robby if he woke up for some reason in the middle of the night. He hadn't been waking up in the middle of the night for a couple of weeks now, but you just never could tell with four-month-old babies.

I settled in on the couch, setting the chips and salsa on the coffee table in front of me. I was too nervous to eat anything, I had no idea how to react to the activities that had just taken place in the kitchen.

Cullen set the rest of the stuff down as well, grabbed the movie and put it in the DVD player. Then he turned around and gave me the weirdest look, almost nervous, yet he seemed, dare I say it, happy.

He walked towards me, I was on one side of the couch, I figured he'd sit in the recliner. He usually did, but instead he plopped down next to me, pouring another shot into the glass as the previews started on the movie.

"So, Bella, you want another shot? I'm having one..." he said while looking at me sideways. His voice was low and sexy as hell.

"No Cullen, I'd better not. Two is probably my limit since one of us should be coherent enough to care for Robby if he wakes up," I said somewhat sadly, enjoying the little bit of camaraderie Cullen and I were sharing, and the mellow feeling the shots had given me.

"Aww come on Bella, one more shot, I'll be fine to help with Robby if he wakes up. I'm sure between the two of us we can take care of him," he said sweetly. "You can even pick the spot on my body you want to lick salt off of, if you let me lick some off of you," he added teasingly, winking at me slyly.

"Um.. oh okay.. um.." I sputtered out. Jesus fucking Christ this guy was fucking lethal.

He laughed, scooted closer to me, grabbing my arm again. He pulled it towards his mouth, I watched him lick my wrist like it was happening to someone else.

He slowly licked the same spot on my inner wrist then laid my limp arm across his lap, even adding a little lip suction to make the spot—and my panties—extra wet. I was still as a statue, afraid to move for fear of what I might brush up against, based on what he did in the kitchen a few minutes ago.

After tickling me by sprinkling salt across the spot he had licked, he poured a shot into the glass. I was getting ready to pull my arm towards my mouth to lick the spot when he grabbed it and licked it himself.

Oh my God, the sensation of his tongue, combined with the scratch of the salt, made me utter a small moan.

He grabbed the shot glass, downed the shot then looked right at me as he put the lime in his mouth to suck on it.

I was stunned at the fucking sensations I was feeling throughout my body. I was thinking I might just spontaneously combust.

As he pulled the spent lime away from his delicious lips, he smiled at me and said, "I hope you don't mind, I wanted to do that earlier. I just couldn't stop myself this time."

"No, no, it's fine, I don't mind," I stuttered, looking into the warm blue-green eyes staring back at me.

Somehow it seemed he was sitting closer to me all the sudden, I felt warm, I noticed his head moving towards mine.

"Bella, I just want to try something, please, don't think," he whispered.

I closed my eyes as he got closer to me, his face right next to mine.

I could feel his breath warm against my cheek as he got closer to my mouth. I sensed,

more than felt, his lips as they came close to my own.

I was fucking nervous as hell, knowing what was coming, thinking I should be stopping him but unable to process the thought pattern into words.

His lips lightly touched mine, brushing against them softly, like butterfly wings. I could taste the tequila and lime on them. He didn't press hard, just a light brushing of his lips against mine.

His hand came up around the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him effectively making the kiss a bit firmer.

I felt his tongue ease out towards my lips slightly, a warm tease of what was yet to come. I was trying so fucking hard not to think.

We stayed like that a few seconds, his tongue dancing against my lips, touching them tentatively, being cautious about entering my mouth. Then I heard him moan and his tongue thrust into my mouth harder than before.

I returned the kiss, finding my arms had a mind of their own as I wrapped them around his shoulders, running my fingers through the hair at the back of his neck, pulling him toward me to deepen the kiss, giving a deep groan of my own in the process.

My God, I was freaking the fuck out! My panties were soaked, my heart was beating triple time, I was moaning like a fucking whore!

His hand was at my neck, his fingers tangled in my hair, gripping me firmly to him, his mouth grinding against mine, his tongue playing me like nobody's business. I felt myself press against him, needing the body-to-body contact.

He smelled like a little slice of heaven. It was mix between some wonderful spicy cologne smell and the unmistakable scent that was all Cullen. I was in sensory overload here.

He backed off slightly, taking a breath, leaning his forehead to mine saying in broken pants, "Bella, fuck, that was... that was awesome. My God, I knew it was going to be like this with you."

I, for once in my miserable life, was fucking speechless. How does one comment after a kiss like that?

"Bella, I know what you're going to do, you're going to over think this. Don't. Please promise me you won't freak out," he begged, grabbing my hand in the process, pulling away to look me in the eyes, the worry clear on his face.

I blew the breath out I had been holding, I gave myself a small shake and looking at him seriously, said, "Cullen... Cullen you need to give me some space here... I need to clear my head, I can't think."

"Okay, Bella, let's just sit here for a bit, we'll watch the movie and calm down. I promise I won't cloud your head," he said softly, talking to me like you'd talk to a child so as not to frighten them.

I stared at him as he backed up a bit, moving a few inches away from me on the couch to give me space, but still fucking holding onto my hand.

I glanced down at our hands, intertwined together, fingers locked around each other's, as though I were looking through a window at two other people. It was fucking surreal.

Looking back up to his face, he had a small smile as he looked from my face down to our hands and then back up. He was smiling bigger now and gave my fingers a light squeeze.

I still didn't trust myself to comment, choosing instead to look at the television screen and try and calm myself down.

We sat that way for about a half an hour when Cullen turned towards me and said gently, "Bella, I want you to know, what happened here tonight was special, you're special, I really want to try and make this work, if you're willing, I'd like to explore the possibility of a relationship, more than friends eventually. If you think it might be worth exploring too."

As he had been speaking I'd turned to face him, his beautiful eyes glowing back at me in the dim light of the living room. My stomach lurched at his words and at the look in his eyes. It must have been the alcohol, the tequila that was coursing through my system without the benefit of food, that was my excuse was for the feelings flowing through my body.

I let go of his hand and stood up abruptly and said quickly, "Cullen, I need to go to bed, I can't sit here right now, I need to process. I promise I'm not over thinking, I just, I just need to step away from temptation."

He said nothing, looking down at his now empty hand, then back up to my face he gave me a small nod. I saw disappointment in his eyes but he seemed to understand.

I went upstairs slowly, hearing the clank of the tequila bottle as it hit the shot glass for an apparent repeat performance. I sure hoped he didn't end up getting sick. If he did, well I guess that was his price to pay.

I got ready for bed, noticing it was eleven o' clock, then slid between my crisp cool sheets. I lay there trying to see if I could hear anything downstairs. I tossed and turned for quite some time, trying to justify my actions and my feelings.

Cullen had gotten under my skin. I started thinking back to our original date, clearly I was attracted to him then, even though I didn't want to be. Now? Well, he fucking owned me. I was going to be in so much trouble with this. I had no idea how to proceed.

I fell into a fitful sleep, only to be awakened by singing around two a.m., horrible singing I must say.

"Have I told you, lately that I love you," hiccup, snort, giggle.

"If I din't, darlin', you see, I'm so sorryyyyyyyyyyyyy," I heard Cullen sing, and very badly I might add.

"Didn't I reach out and hold you in these lovin' arms, wellllllllllll, if I didn't, oh babyyyyyy. Well, I'm sooooo sorryyyyy," he swooned with another hiccup and snort.

Oh holy fucking hell, he was singing Billy fucking Idol? Clearly he was wasted, he hated Billy Idol.

I started to chuckle, this was fucking hysterical. I had to wonder, how much tequila he'd had that would make Billy Idol seem like an acceptable karaoke partner?

"When I realized that you need love too, gonna spend my life makin' love to you," he crooned loudly, and very off key.

I decided I'd better go down and check on him, I didn't want him waking Robby up.

I grabbed my robe and unicorn slippers then slipped them both on before opening my bedroom door and heading downstairs.

I was totally unprepared for the sight that I saw when I entered the living room.

There was Cullen, facing the stairway, on his _knees_ in the middle of the living room, Billy Idol playing on the stereo. Cullen was holding the tequila bottle like a microphone singing into it for all he was worth.

He saw me, smiled hugely and continued his song, now looking directly at me, singing it right to my face.

"Got to be a lover. Have mercy. Forgot to be a lover, babe. Have mercy, forgot to be a lover. Have mercy...When I realized that you need love too, gonna spend my life makin' love to youuuuu..." he belted out louder, looking into my face with the most sincere look of joy, he was thinking he was hot stuff.

I couldn't help it, I laughed. A big giant fucking gut laugh.

I walked over and turned the stereo down and then turned to face him, crossed my arms over my chest, quirked my eyebrow and said humorously, "Cullen, what the fuck are you doing?"

"I'm singing to you Bella, I want you to see I can like Billy Idol too, even if he is shit, I want to be more for you, I want you to see what I'm willing to do for you," he said, between hiccups, his voice totally serious and firm.

His body was wobbling to and fro, like he was fighting for balance, his knees apparently not the best choice for staying upright.

He was staring at me, his eyes begging me to see him, really see him.

All of the sudden it hit me.

I am in so much trouble here. How could it be? What should I do? How do I handle this possibly problematic development?

Jesus Christ, I couldn't believe it, if you would've told me I would feel this way about this pretentious asshole six months ago I would've looked at you like you had grown another head while simultaneously telling you _'no fucking way, it will never happen'_!

And yet... here I was, looking into the blue-green eyes of the biggest, faking, overdone piece of work I'd ever had the misfortune of meeting.

And God help me, I _think_ I was falling in love with him... I wanted him, I needed him, I had to have him.

I _know_ someone, somewhere, was trying to play a cruel joke on me. It was the only answer I could come up with. Things like this just don't happen, not to me anyway, I'm smart, savvy, in total control of my life.

I, Bella Swan, career woman- all around planning, thinking, scheduling and regimented person, could not possibly be falling for Edward "Look at me, aren't I fabulous?" Cullen.

Fuck my life... I was so screwed and not in a way I was going to enjoy.

At least not yet.

* * *

**A/N:**

So here we are, at the prologue, wonder what Bella is going to do now?

Thanks to everyone for all the reviews and to all my new readers, welcome aboard!


	16. Chapter 16

Thanks to my awesome betas GrayMatters and PixieKat7.

Any and all mistakes you find will be mine.

Fuck count:41 after removing three of them, per betas insistence.

Special thanks to Nikita2009 and Katinki for pre-reading.

Please read what they write, you won't be disappointed.

Thanks to all the people who alerted and favorited my story this past week.

What a thrill for me!

Everyone, please keep Japan in your thoughts and prayers...

**Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight related characters you see below. The words are mine.**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 15**

I stood for a moment trying to take in what was happening and how I was feeling. Not gonna lie, I was fucking freaking out a bit. How could I feel this way already? How did a smirk, glasses and sweats take me to possibly heading towards love? I needed to think about this revelation.

Oh God, this could be very bad, very fucking bad. _Or_, my inner voice whispered to me, _this could be very, very good_.

I walked over to help Cullen up, his drunken, appreciative smile beckoning to me from the floor.

"Bella, uh, did you like my song? " he hiccupped drunkenly, grinning and looking up at me adoringly with his sea green eyes flashing in delight at himself.

"Yes, Cullen, the song was terrific," I agreed, answering him like I was talking to a child, while reaching under his arms to pull him up from the floor.

He leaned into me, his arm wrapped around my shoulders and turned his face right into mine, nose to nose. Jesus, he smelled like a fucking lime and tequila factory.

"I want to be someone you like, you like Billy Idol, he sucks but you like him...I want you to sing about lemon pie and think of me, not that old eighties has-been," he said petulantly, his words slurring sloppily.

"Oh, don't worry, I like you. How much did you drink though?" I asked, my brows furrowed. I was fucking concerned. It looked like most of the tequila was missing from the bottle, and he was going to be a sick boy tomorrow.

The fucking last thing I wanted to have to do was take care of two _children_ tomorrow. One hungover and one teething. No fun, no fucking fun at all.

"I drank enough, Bellaaaaa... I drank enough to get some guts, I needed guts to get you to notice me, I want you to notice me..." he crooned into my ear, his breath warm against it.

"I think you're so beautiful, Bellaaaa, so beautiful... I want to spend more time with you, we need to spend more time together for you to know me. You don't like me, I liked you that very first night, all smart and sassy...but you don't like me," he whined pitifully.

Jesus, what the hell was he saying? As we made our way slowly upstairs, him leaning on me for support and barely able to walk, I decided to ask him some questions. I'm fucking diabolical sometimes, what can I say?.

"I like you, really I do. But, Cullen, what do you mean, 'get me to notice you'? I already notice you," I offered, looking towards him, my voice clearly confused as to what the fuck he was saying.

His face got closer to my ear, I thought he was going to whisper, instead he sniffed along my neck by ear and moaned.

"Are you okay, Cullen! Do you need to get to the bathroom, you're not gonna puke are you!" I asked, my voice full of fear, I fucking hated cleaning up puke, especially if it wasn't mine.

"I'm not gonna puke, Bellaaaa... I just, you just... fuck, you smell so fucking good. Did you know you smell good? All girly and good and sexy?" he said softly, slurring all his words.

"Um, no, but thanks, Cullen..." I sputtered out. Holy fuck, he was killing me here.

"Bellaaaaa, did you know you make my hands twitch? Do you feel the same weird sensation that I feel when I touch you? No, no, probably not, no you don't like me..." he trailed off, the tone of his voice seeming to go into a self-conscience sad mode.

"I want to touch you all the time... all the time..." he mumbled sleepily, his head nodding up and down, his feet trying to stay in sync with his legs.

We made it to his bedroom door, I opened it and got him inside. He plopped down on the side of the bed, his head falling back onto the pillow. As I went to cover him with the comforter he suddenly grabbed my hand.

"See... do you feel that? Tell me you fucking feel that? I want to kiss you again, Bellaaaa, it was so nice kissing you... please kisssss meeeee..." he said, his moist lips puckering up, his gorgeous eyes pleading with me from the bed.

What to do, what to do? Fuck, fuck, fuck!

I leaned down and kissed his forehead, his brow furrowed and he said agitatedly,

"No...no.. a real kiss Bellaaaaa..."

"Maybe tomorrow Cullen, when you know what you're asking okay? Right now, you need to settle in and get some rest, you're gonna feel like shit in a few hours," I said sternly.

He just stared at me, his expression intense.

"Okay, for now, but no running okay?" he said seriously, pointing his finger at me, making me wonder if he was telling himself that or me.

I took one last look at him from the doorway before I turned off his light and went downstairs to find the ibuprofen and a bottle of water to take back up and put on his bedside table for when he woke up and needed it like a fucking addict needed their next fix. That boy was going to be a hurtin' Jose come tomorrow morning. I'd fucking bet the farm he wouldn't remember a single thing he said or done.

I halfway hoped he didn't, it might turn out to be all kinds of fucking weird if he did.

After getting the stuff for Cullen I went back up and set it on the table and smoothed my hand over his forehead, pushing his wild hair away from his face and removing his glasses, putting them on the table as well. He was sleeping soundly, snoring lightly, his mouth in a little pucker. God his pink lips were so fucking hot in that pouty position.

I turned and walked out shutting the door behind me and went to my own room to get some sleep. Robby would be up in about four more hours and clearly Cullen would be unable to take care of him.

After laying down and shutting my eyes, I tried to get everything he'd just said out of my head so I could sleep, some time later, I finally drifted off.

As I expected Robby woke up at the ass crack of dawn.

I went into his room quickly, I didn't want poor Cullen to wake up, I was _not _fucking looking forward to that moment. Can you say awkward?

I quickly changed Robby and headed down to the kitchen to get him breakfast, we hung out downstairs for two hours before I finally decided I had to have a shower. I'd spent that time cleaning up the mess from the night before, finding that Cullen had drank over half of the fifth of Patron.

I didn't want to wake him up but in the same respect, I couldn't put my day on hold. I needed to grocery shop and do a few other errands.

Heading up the stairs with Robby, I took him into his room for his morning nap. After tucking him in and turning the light out, I headed for the door and shut it behind me.

When I turned around to go have my shower I saw Cullen leaning against his door with his head in his hands.

"Cullen, my God, are you okay?" I whispered, he looked like complete shit. I needed to whisper since I didn't want to keep Robby awake. Plus, if he felt as bad as he looked, I'm sure Cullen appreciated the whisper as well.

"God Bella, God, please tell me I don't have blood coming out my ears? My head is pounding so damn hard," he groaned softly, pushing his hands up through his hair and back down his face roughly.

I giggled quietly as I moved towards him, pretending to look for blood coming out his ears, then said with a small chuckle, "Nope, no blood. I bet your head is killing you though, you drank a shit-ton of Patron."

"If I ever see tequila again, I will surely die. In fact, I think I might be dying right now," he groaned again, looking sick as a dog.

"You should have a shower. Did you drink the water and take the ibuprofen I left you?" I asked softly, looking at him expectantly for his answer.

"Yeah, I did, thanks for that by the way. I don't think it's had time to kick in yet though, my head is literally about to explode off my body. Arrgghh... what was I thinking," he moaned out pitifully.

"Listen, Cullen, I have some errands to run, but, I am willing to make you some toast while you have the first shower. If you'd like," I offered graciously. I had to be honest, I was trying to get away lest he start remembering stuff about last night.

"No, that's okay, Bella, you go ahead, I'm going to go get some coffee and see if I feel better. I'll just crawl downstairs to the kitchen on my hands and knees to the coffee maker and pray to the hangover gods that this thing goes away after some caffeine.

My God, who knew I'd watch The Hangover and then end up with one too, God I'm a moron," he said woefully, shaking his head.

I couldn't fucking help it, I giggled and said, "Well at least you didn't wake up to a chicken running around your room like they did."

He smiled and nodded, giving a light chuckle. He took that moment to look at me, his bloodshot eyes staring into mine, a strange look on his face.

I wondered if he remembered or was currently remembering what he'd done last night, or worse yet, what we'd done last night. Oh fuck, I was so freaked out, I just knew he was going to regret that kiss. My hands started to shake in nervousness.

His face turned red and his eyes looked at my lips then back up to my eyes. He gave me a tentative smile.

"How are you this morning, Bella? Did you get back to sleep?" he asked me cryptically, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

Shit, he fucking remembers. I have to say I was kind of hoping he'd fucking forget at least some of the evening.

"Oh yeah, I slept fine, no problems, yeah... I um... yeah, no problems," I stuttered nervously, looking down at my slippers.

I sensed him before I felt him. After taking a few steps closer to me, Cullen took his finger and placed it gently under my chin, guiding my head back up to look at his face.

"Don't hide, Bella, don't think, remember? You promised me last night not to over think," he said softly, his sea green eyes looking into mine.

I swallowed audibly, looking back at him, willing myself not to freak out. I didn't trust myself to speak.

"I'd kiss you right now, I want to, but I'm certain my mouth tastes like death," he said softly, gazing at my lips.

"Plus, I don't want to scare you Bella, I can see you backpedaling as we speak," he added, giving his head a small shake and rubbing his thumb along my chin.

The feel of his hand on my chin was so fucking overwhelming, I wasn't sure I was ready for random touching and getting close to admitting my 'feelings' yet.

He dropped his hand and then roughly ran it through his hair, stopping to rest on the back of his neck. He took a deep breath and then looked directly into my eyes.

"Bella, I... I'm sorry if I said or did anything last night to make you uncomfortable, I can be a tool," he said nervously as his hand dropped back down to his side.

I sighed with relief. "I think it may have been a mutually toolish evening Cullen, don't worry, I won't hold you to anything you said. I promise," I said quickly, backing away towards the bathroom for my shower. I was trying to get out of this unscathed, trying to give him a way out and myself one as well.

"No, no, Bella I don't mean that I regret what happened or what I said, not at all. I regret making you feel uncomfortable, that's all," he stuttered out rapidly, grabbing my arm gently so I couldn't get any farther away from him.

"Listen, Bella, I meant what I said, I really do like you, I want to spend more time with you and get to know you better. Hell, I want to kiss you right now and I swear to Christ I would if not for two things. Number one my breath could kill a small animal and number two you look like you want to fly down the hall at warp speed, which indicates I'm freaking you the hell out right now."

I stood there staring up at him, and I knew that my eyes were wide and, as he had said, freaked out. Edward had a small smile on his lips - I was mesmerized by those fucking Goddamn lips!

I was frozen like a statue, I had nothing fucking witty to say, I just stood there immobile when I heard him mutter a "_fuck it_" under his breath as he pulled me towards him and leaned in to lightly touch my lips with his own.

Oh my fucking God, seriously? Again with the kissing? My brain just fucking shut right the hell down.

I felt myself being pulled even closer to him and realized that my traitorous body was moving closer to him on its own volition.

His lips were soft, subtle and warm. His mouth moved over mine gently, small gentle kisses, one right after another. He moaned, putting his hands on my jaw, his thumbs rubbing my cheeks softly as he finally deepened the last kiss. I didn't even notice what his breath was like, I mean come on, that mouth, those lips on mine. Unf!

Our tongues met, melding and dancing together, in and out, thrusting back and forth eagerly. I am pretty fucking sure I was groaning aloud, I was getting so turned on, my hands had a mind of their own as I ran them up and down his back, feeling his muscles under his t-shirt.

Suddenly he pulled away, with a somewhat reluctant look on his face. His hands staying on my jaw, his thumbs still brushing along my cheeks gently.

"Bella, God, I just can't stop myself," he groaned, his eyes boring into mine, hoping for understanding.

I took a deep breath, gave him a small smile and said as I dropped my arms to my side, "Cullen, I think I need that shower now, and I definitely need some time to think."

He let go of me as well, backed up and said gently, "Okay, I totally understand, but remember, no running and no second guessing okay?"

His hand thrust forward so I could shake it. Seriously, we were making a deal? I giggled as I stared down at his hand.

"Are we making a deal? Really? Don't you trust me, Cullen?" I said sarcastically as I looked up and raised one eyebrow, giving him the signature _Bella look. _

"Nope. Don't trust you at all, not one little bit, I know you want to bolt. I can see it written all over your face," he said playfully. A smirk on his face, his eyes dancing.

"I'm just gonna go shower now, you go get your coffee, we'll talk later okay?" I said over my shoulder as I walked down the hall towards the bathroom.

He called out to me when I was at the hall closet grabbing my towel. " Hey Bella, you know what? I think I may have found the cure for hangovers," he said humorously.

"Oh yeah, what is it?" I replied with a smile.

"Kissing you," he said sexily, giving me a wink and heading downstairs to get his coffee.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph. This guy was fucking killing me.

Stepping into the shower I began thinking about everything that had occurred in the

past sixteen hours. I felt like I was going to have a fucking panic attack at first, then managed to slow my frantic mind down a bit to really think it all through.

Okay, so we kissed, oh my God, that first fucking kiss. I was tingling in remembrance of the feelings I felt while Cullen was kissing me, the way his lips moved against mine, the flavor of his mouth. Sweet holy fucking hell. And then, if that wasn't enough, the kiss we just had in the fucking hallway.

I frantically tried to take a mental step backwards, I was scared shitless.

I needed to figure out how this was going to fucking work without me getting hurt, without Robby getting hurt and without Cullen getting hurt. I was terrified, I just knew with my track record I was going to fuck this all up.

I wasn't sure I'd be able to commit myself to having a relationship, it was very difficult for me to trust people, especially men. I knew I needed to get past it, but, I also knew I couldn't move too fast. For me, slow and steady wins the race.

As I finished showering, my mind still in overdrive, I could only come to one conclusion, I needed to back the truck up. I needed some distance to make sure I didn't fuck this thing between us all up.

I needed time to acclimate myself to these new feelings. He had to be just as scared as I was, didn't he?

After showering I put on minimal make-up, pulling my hair up in a messy bun then getting dressed in my dark blue skinny jeans, black Chucks and black fleece pullover.

I then headed downstairs to see what was what with Cullen. I'm sure after having some time to think he had to have reached the same conclusion as I had.

Cullen was standing at the sink, his back to me, looking out the small window at the garden area in the back yard. I wasn't sure he knew I was there until I heard him talk.

"So how was your shower Bella? Did you have a chance to think your way out of all this?" he said slowly in a monotone voice, keeping his back to me.

"Well, as a matter of fact..." I trailed off as he started to turn towards me.

He turned slowly, looking at me sullenly. Oh fuck, he was regretting everything now... I just knew he was. I needed to get out of the house, I needed to get my errands done and get back to life as it was Friday night before all the tequila fuckery went down!

"Oh? And what exactly did you come up with?" he asked, his eyebrow raised and his mouth turned down in a semi-frown.

"Well, I was thinking maybe this all happened too fast, alcohol was involved, maybe you and I need to slow down a bit, I don't want anyone getting hurt," I stuttered out nervously, looking down and my hands twisting together. Jesus fucking Christ this guy makes me so stinkin' nervous!

"Hmm...really? You really think this was all about alcohol? Wow, you know, that just means one thing," he said seriously, his eyes boring into mine with a hypnotic stare.

"What's that Cullen? What does it mean?" I asked him, looking back him, my gaze never once leaving his, finally able to ignore my traitorous mind and NOT look at his luscious lips.

"It just means I'm going to have to work harder to prove to you that I mean what I say and I say what I mean," he said sadly, looking intensely at me before turning back around to look out the window over the sink again.

"I've been thinking Bella, you know that spot right back in the corner there would be perfect for a swing set for Robby and this spot closer to the window would be great for a little sandbox too," he said softly, his voice wistful.

"Yeah, you're right, both those things would be great fun for Robby," I offered softly, wondering why this seemingly random conversation was happening after what had just transpired between us.

I guess he was going to give me what I wanted. Space. But now the question was this—did I really want space now that I had it?


	17. Chapter 17

Thanks to my awesome betas GrayMatters and PixieKat7.

Any and all mistakes you find will be mine.

Fuck count: A surprisingly low 34.

Special thanks to Nikita2009 and Katinki for pre-reading.

Please read what they write, you won't be disappointed.

Thanks to all the people who alerted and favorited my story this past week.

What a thrill for me!

Since FF is fail, I can only hope that people who reviewed got my pm's thanking them. If you didn't get a review response, my apologies, I ALWAYS reply. I thank you so much for taking the time to review.

And now, my longest chapter to date. Let me know what you think!

**Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight related characters you see below. The words are mine.**

**

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**

**CHAPTER 16**

Space huh? I fucking wanted space? Jesus I was getting space. Cullen and I had barely had a conversation about anything, let alone a discussion about our _'relationship' _since that Saturday in the kitchen.

For the past two weeks we passed each other like ships in the night, both of us incredibly busy at work.

Cullen was out of town for four days on another baseball player taking steroids story for the Times and I had a major crisis with some newly created software that needed de-bugging. It meant long hours and overtime and since Cullen was out of town for one of the nights I worked late, I was lucky enough to have Alice offer to take Robby home for me.

I made my way inside the back door through the kitchen to relieve her so she could get home. It was a Friday night and Cullen was due back tomorrow morning so our schedules could go back to normal.

Alice was nowhere to be found on the bottom floor of the house so I climbed the stairs figuring she was in Robby's room. I was right, she was changing him for bed, he looked over at me from the changing table getting all giddy and excited when he saw me, his legs moving quickly and his body twisting to try to get to me. His big eyes and toothless grin made me smile and warmed my heart, making me forget all about the long hours at work.

"Hi baby! How are you, sweet boy? Did you have a fun day with Alice?" I cooed softly, as I approached the changing table to grab his little hand in mine.

"Oh hey, Bella! I didn't hear you come in. How was your day, did you get everything figured out?" Alice said happily, smiling widely at me.

"Yep, finally, it's all fixed. I wasn't sure if I'd ever get the freaking thing figured out, thank God I did," I said tiredly. I was exhausted. "I'm so tired Alice, this week sucked ass."

She giggled, then said excitedly, "Perfect! I've got an answer for your troubles, you're gonna love it!"

"Tomorrow night, Mom and Dad are willing to take Robby for the night so you and Edward can come along with the rest of us to the Twilight Lounge. Jasper is fixing a professor from UW up with Bree and we're all going along to soften the blind date trauma for her. Say you'll come?"

"Well shit, Alice, I don't know. I'm so tired and your brother isn't here to give you his answer, I'm not sure..." I trailed off anxiously. I wasn't so sure I wanted to go to a bar and drink with Cullen any time soon.

Last time we mixed us with alcohol it all it got me was all kinds of confusion and space. _Not to mention the most fuckhot kisses I'd ever had in my life_. I'm not sure at this point I needed to add anything to that, even though the thought of more kissing with Cullen made me tingle.

"Oh come on, Bella, please? I already talked to Edward earlier, he said he's in if you're in. It'll be good, it's a fun place and jeez, Mom and Dad taking the baby means you and Edward can sleep late on Sunday. Catch up on some much needed rest. You know what they say, all work and no play makes you... oh I don't remember how it goes, but you get the point!" she giggled, her eyebrow's turned into a frown of confusion, then shooting up in mirth.

"You talked to him...he said he wants to go? Oh... well...okay I guess, I suppose I could use a night out and a day to sleep late," I said wistfully.

I hadn't heard from Cullen myself, other than messages he'd left on the answering machine while I was at work letting me know what was going on and encouraging me to call him back if I needed him for anything.

"Yeah, Rose and Emmett are coming along too so it will be eight of us. We're going to play pool and darts and have a few beers, totally casual. Doesn't that sound fun? I thought it would be best for Bree, make her feel more comfortable. Blind dates are so awkward ya know?" she said animatedly.

"Yeah, blind dates are awkward," I offered, my tone sarcastic.

Alice looked at me and grinned. "Oh yeah, that's right, you and Edward had a blind date once right?" she asked innocently, her blue eyes wide. Yeah cuz that smirk she was wearing was so innocent... NOT!

"Oh, Alice, you're so bad at hiding your thoughts! Yes, your brother and I were set up. It was epic fail," I said seriously, picking Robby up off the changing table and kissing the top of his head.

"Well hell, Bella, I know my brother, if he didn't want to be set up he'd purposely be a dick. Let me guess, did he fart or something rude like that?" she said with a chuckle, her hands on her hips, head cocked sideways.

I laughed loudly and said, "Yep, he burped, a lot and loudly. God, I was so grossed out! Plus he gave me crap about Billy Idol."

"Figures," she said snarkily, shaking her head.

"Well to his credit, I wasn't exactly that nice either. I was really disrespectful to him and I probably had a lot of it coming, let's just say that date ended badly and quickly," I said seriously.

She laughed and then said "Well, see then? You have to come along to help Bree out. Although, Garrett is a stunning piece of man meat and she should be over come with joy when she sees him. He's fuckhot and nice as hell. Jasper only has sweet, good looking friends, don't ya know?"

I raised my eyebrow and gave her a smile. "Alice, you are adorable, you know this right?"

"Of course I am! I'm a Cullen!" she said delightfully then added more seriously, "Say you'll come Bella."

"Oh all right, I'll be there, why not. I gotta warn you though, I suck at both darts and pool. Can you say 'athletically challenged'?

She let out a small squeal of excitement, clapping her hands together, then said, "Oh

yay! It's going to be so much fun! Oh and by the way, um Bella, I don't think pool or darts are sports."

"Well compared to watching anyone besides me attempt either thing, you might change your mind about that. Be prepared to laugh, just saying," I offered sarcastically, shaking my head in embarrassment over what they were going to probably witness tomorrow night. I truly fucking sucked at any kind of activity that required hand eye coordination.

Alice giggled then said, "It'll be a blast, Bella, wait and see! I'm gonna head out now, gotta get home and love on my husband. See you guys tomorrow!"

I told her goodbye and thanks, then after she kissed Robby about a thousand times, she headed out. Robby and I snuggled for a bit before I put him to bed for the night and went to bed myself. I truly was fucking exhausted.

The next morning came too quickly, as it always did. Robby woke me up early as usual, it was going to be nice to sleep in tomorrow morning. Esme and Carlisle were so helpful. Damn, what the fuck was I saying, the whole damn family is helpful. They were simply fabulous, no wonder Angela and Ben liked them so much.

I was feeding Robby breakfast when I heard Cullen's car pull into the driveway.

"Hi, Bella," he said to me jovially, dropping his keys on the counter, then added, "Hi Robster, how are you, my little man? Are you eating breakfast, Buddy? Is that a good nanner? Yes, it is," in his sing-song voice.

He walked over and crouched down in front of the high chair, talking to Robby at his level. God he looked so fucking hot talking to Robby like that. His hair was its usual mess, his blue Seattle Times polo shirt wrinkled and his khaki pants looking worse for the wear. He looked like he had slept in them for fuck's sake.

"Oh, Robster, I missed you little man, I did. Did you take good care of Bella for me?" he said softly to him, grabbing his finger and giving it a shake.

I looked at Cullen, he was gazing up into my face intently. He licked his lips and then looked at my lips. My traitorous body responded immediately, and I licked my own lips in response. I quickly looked away, trying to recover some fucking semblance of composure

Thankfully, Robby was talking baby gibberish to Cullen, it was as though he understood and was telling him how it went while he was away. It was a successful diversion for us.

Cullen pretended to understand, chit chatting back to him and nodding his head. It was comical as hell. Robby clearly adored Cullen. They had like a secret language all their own. If I didn't think it was so cute, I might be slightly jealous.

"So, Bella, I hear we're getting the night off tonight and are going to be blind date buffers," he questioned me, his eyebrows raised, as he stood from his squatting position to look down at me while I finished feeding Robby.

I looked up at him, my eyes staying on his, instead of looking at his mouth like they wanted to. Not that staring into those glorious green-blue eyes made it any easier.

"Yep, that's what I hear. Do you know Garrett too, or just Bree?" I asked politely, turning away to put another spoonful of banana into Robby's mouth.

"Uh, yeah, I know them both. It should be a good match, but Bree might feel a bit out of her league. She is younger than he is and he's a professor. He gets kind of wordy when he's nervous so I hope he doesn't scare her off. He's a great guy though, she could do worse."

"Hmmm, well, I hope it works out for them then, blind dates are hard," I said in response, I fucking wanted to take back the blind date bit when I heard Cullen chuckle humorlessly behind me.

"Yeah, blind dates do kinda suck, don't they?" he said cryptically, turning away from me to head towards the stairs.

Oh shit, why the fuck my verbal filter didn't work today was beyond me. I could only chalk it up to having not seen him for a few days and his voodoo lip mojo working its magic on my brain cells. Especially now that I knew what those lips felt and tasted like.

I just nodded, then gave a quick glance in his direction.

He stood there staring at me, his sea green eyes penetrating mine. I swallowed audibly, he seemed to realize he was staring and gave a small cough then said softly, "I'm going to go up to take a shower and change. If you don't need me for anything, I'd really like to take a nap as well. It's been a long night."

"Sure, Cullen, no problem, it's all good. Robby and I are just going to hang out downstairs and play for a while, go take a nap. We'll see you in a bit," I said sweetly.

He gave me a small smile and headed upstairs. I let out the breath I was unaware I'd been holding and looked at Robby.

"Whew, Robby, that was close wasn't it?" I whispered. Robby gazed at me with a sweet smile. It was right then when I noticed something on his gums. I reached into his mouth to get what I thought was residual banana out of his mouth when I felt it. A tooth, Robby had his first tooth!

"Robby! You got a tooth baby!" I squealed loudly, clapping my hands in glee, making him smile wider.

"Cullen, come here! Come quick, you gotta see this shit!" I yelled.

I heard him come rushing down the stairs, and when I saw his face his eyes were terrified., Oh shit, he must have thought something was wrong, oopsie!

Then, I noticed his shirt was missing.

Holy fucking mother of God, that chest could be made of marble. Hard, planes of muscles, a scattering of chest hair, nipples a soft pink looking oh so lickable.

My God, I was going to combust, he was fantastic!

"What is it? What's wrong?," he said seriously, his hand over his heart. He was staring at me, waiting for an explanation.

"Oh crap, Cullen, I'm sorry! Not bad news, not bad news. I'm so sorry," I said in a rush. I'd scared him with my yelling.

He stopped suddenly, clearly confused, looking at me like I'd grown another head.

"Nothing is wrong, it's a good thing, Robby has a tooth!" I said excitedly. "I thought you'd want to know, I'm sorry I scared you, I was just excited," I said quickly. I felt my face get red, I was such a fucking moron some times.

"I _do_ want to know! Awesome job, Robster! Way to get a tooth, man!" he said, as he walked over to Robby and I.

Then he took his fingers and moved Robby's lips so he could have a better view of his tooth on the bottom gum. His finger running along the gum line, feeling for the tooth.

"Wow, dude, that deserves a fist bump, now doesn't it?" he said smiling sweetly, grabbing Robby's hand and putting it into position for a mock fist bump. Jesus guys are so typical. I had to roll my eyes.

"Thanks for telling me, Bella. I just heard you yell and thought something was the matter," he said to me, his face concerned.

"I was excited, I didn't stop to think, I just started hollering," I said apologetically as I tried valiantly to avoid looking at the chest that was literally staring me in the face.

"No worries, it's fine, I was just getting ready to jump into the shower, hence the missing shirt," he said with a smirking smile, motioning to his chest. Oh that fucking little shit knew I was affected by the chest. Dammit!

I took a deep cleansing breath, feeling my cheeks redden even more, then said slowly as I looked into his eyes, "Yes, Cullen, I noticed your shirt is missing, sorry for interrupting your shower."

He smiled at me, took his finger and slowly rubbed the back of it along my cheek and said teasingly, "I love how flustered you get Bella. Your blush is fantastic."

My heart starting beating erratically, his finger stopped by my lips. Then just as suddenly as he arrived, he took a quick step backwards and headed for the stairs again, leaving me full of feelings I had no clue how to handle.

"Later, Bella, thanks for letting me know about the tooth," he said as he slowly made his way out of the kitchen and up the stairs, the back view just as spectacular as the front.

I looked at Robby, my eyes wide, as if he'd know what I was feeling.

"What the fuck was that, Robby? Wow," I said in wonder, giving my head a small shake. My face was still on fire, whether or not from his touch or my embarrassment, I wasn't sure.

I heard the shower start as I took Robby out of the high chair and wiped him off. I just couldn't wait for tonight. How damn awkward would this end up being?

A few hours later, Cullen was awake and downstairs watching TV when I asked him what time I needed to take Robby to his parents house. I looked at him sitting there with his blue flannel pajama pants and a light blue t-shirt on, his glasses perched on his nose waiting for an answer. Jesus, again, how fucking hot does someone have to be to make flannel and glasses look sexy as hell?

"I figured I would take him over in a bit Bella, then when I come back, we could get ready to go and leave together if you wanted. It makes sense, since we share the same house and everything," he said sincerely, smiling at me with his gorgeous teeth and voodoo sex smile.

"Oh, alright then, I'll just head up to get Robby's stuff ready for your parents," I said softly.

I ran up and got that all organized and then went to my room to decide what I was going to wear for the evening. I wanted to go casual but not too casual. I wasn't trying to impress anyone anyway, right?

I laid the clothes on my bed I'd chosen to wear when I heard a soft knock at my door.

I walked over and opened it seeing Cullen standing there in jeans and his blue t-shirt, glasses still on, hair still a mess, holding Robby.

"Hey, Bella, I'm going to take Robby over to my parents house now, you want to start getting ready? I should be back in about forty minutes and then we'd need to leave about an hour later."

"Oh, yeah, okay, I'll shower and start getting ready. Tell Carlisle and Esme I said thanks, would you?" I asked sincerely, looking at him in the eyes. Not the mouth, never again looking at his fucking mouth.

"Will do, see you soon," he said smiling softly at me.

"Have fun baby," I cooed to Robby, giving him a small kiss on his forehead. I looked at Cullen, his expression seemed guarded but he was staring intently at me.

He cleared his throat and gave me another small smile as he turned away with Robby and headed out to take him to his parents.

After he left I got in the shower, shaved my legs, washed my hair with my new lemon verbena shampoo and conditioner and then followed up with a body scrub. I was in pamper mode. Too bad I was never taking a fucking bath again, it would have been nice. That last bath I took ended up so traumatic, I didn't know if I'd ever recover.

After I got out of the shower and was standing in my underwear putting my make up on, I heard Cullen come up the stairs. He was whistling loudly. Apparently he had yet to recover from my last bath as well.

He paused by my closed door, gave a small knock and asked if I was done in the shower.

"Yep, go ahead, I'll just finish getting ready in here, how long before we leave?" I hollered to him.

"We should leave in an hour, will that give you enough time?" he said.

"Sure. I'll come downstairs when I'm done," I said determinedly.

He went off to shower and get himself ready while I finished up.

I'd decided on a pair of dark wash skinny jeans tucked into my low heeled black suede boots. I was going to wear a cute little electric blue long sleeved sweater shrug over a tight black, gray and blue paisley tank that made my fucking _girls_ look nice.

I put on some smokey gray eye shadow then lined my eyes with an electric blue liner and smudged some black eye shadow into it to defuse it a bit. I added a light pale pink blusher and some pale pink lip gloss to complete the look. My hair had some nice natural curl so I just added a bit of pomade and scrunched it as I blew it dry lightly.

Bada bing, bada bang, I was good to go. This might be the best I'd ever looked on a night that was supposed to be casual.

I was finished well before my allotted hour was up so I grabbed my purse and headed downstairs. I didn't really think Cullen would be ready since he started after me but as I entered the kitchen with my head down, I heard him exhale on a whistle. It stopped me dead in my fucking tracks when I looked up and saw the sight before me.

He was standing there staring at me, his eyes wide, a soft playful smile on his lips, his long fingers in the process of putting a watch around his wrist.

He had on dark wash Levi's with a red thermal pullover over a white t-shirt, his feet had black Doc Martens on them. He looked fucking sexy as hell. And did I mention how fucking incredible he smelled? Sweet Jesus, I think his scent could be bottled and sold for millions. We shall call it, Smellward, nope... how about Smellen? Fuck me, whatever it was called, it was fucking hot!

He spoke first, his breath coming out in a rush as he said, appraising me, "Shit, Bella, you look gorgeous!"

I blushed scarlet. I looked down at my hands holding my purse, then looked back up and said softly, almost a whisper, "Thank you, Cullen, you don't look too bad yourself."

"Again with that blush. It suits you Bella, that blush," he replied genuinely, rubbing his hand along the back of his neck, his eyebrows raised to his hairline.

We stood there staring, taking each other in, when suddenly he gave his head a shake and said quickly, "Oh, wow, yeah, we better go. They'll be waiting for us."

He reached over and grabbed his keys. I had mine in my hand as well, thinking I was driving. I must've had an odd look on my face because he looked at me, his own face turning red, and said softly, "Yeah, so Bella, I'll be driving tonight, no drinking for me. I had enough tequila two weeks ago to last me a lifetime, I'm just drinking soda tonight.

You can drink if you want, I'll make sure you get home alright."

"Oh, well, not sure I'm going to drink but it's always nice to have that option, thanks for driving," I said gratefully, while putting my keys in my purse.

We walked out to his car, him holding the door for me and then locking up the house, while I made my way to his shiny silver Volvo parked at the curb. It looked perfect with the car seat in back, such a mom car. I snickered to myself just fucking thinking about it.

We made our way to the club, neither of us really talking, just enjoying the scenery. As we parked, Cullen made comments about who was there already.

"There's Jasper and Alice's car, looks like Rose and Emmett are here already as well. Do you know if Bree was riding with Alice or coming alone?" he turned and asked me.

"Alice didn't say either way," I offered.

"Well, you ready? This should be fun right?" he said, after shutting the engine off and removing his keys.

"Ready as I'll ever be, let's go and give the blind daters some moral support, shall we?"

We got out of the car and headed toward the club. Cullen was a gentleman, opening the door for me and letting me enter before him. As I walked past him, his hand reached out and rested on the small of my back while he walked in behind me. I expected him to drop it after the door closed but he didn't. He continued to rest it there lightly as we walked forward into the bar looking for his family.

I saw Emmett first, his massive size hard to miss. He happened to glance over and when he saw me his face burst into the biggest, most sincere smile I think I'd ever seen.

"Bella! You came!" he shouted excitedly, making his way toward us.

I felt Cullen's hand fall away from my back. I sensed a loss of warmth immediately. I fucking missed it. What the hell? I was making myself crazy with all this second-guessing bullshit.

Emmett reached us quickly, pulling me into a gripping hug.

"I'm so glad to see you, this is gonna be a blast, you and my bratty little brother needed a break," he said sincerely, teasing Cullen with the last remark.

I looked up at Cullen, seeing him frown at Emmett.

"Who you calling a little brat, man? Jeez Em, how old are we now?" Cullen asked snidely, although you could see the mirth in his eyes, clearly this banter was normal for them.

Emmett just started laughing, his whole body shaking.

"Dude, you know I'm right, you're a fucking pansy ass, admit it," he said between his laughs.

"Whatever Emmett, I can kick your ass in pool, big doesn't equate good in that arena," Cullen snarked back at him, grinning mischievously.

I took the opportunity to look closely at Emmett during their banter, he was huge, all

muscle. His light blue shirt, emblazoned with 'Kiss the Cook' on the front in white letters, was skin tight on his muscled arms and broad chest. He screamed _body builder_.

I saw Rose headed towards us from the corner of my eye, her blond hair up in a high ponytail. As she came closer I could see she had jeans on as well, black, with a long sleeved green and black vertical striped peasant blouse, black stiletto boots on her feet. Damn she was so fucking beautiful, she was an inspiration, her size didn't hinder her fashion style in the least. I'd kill to look that fucking good.

She caught my eye, giving me a huge welcoming smile. When she got to us, she grabbed me in a hug and whispered in my ear softly, "Oh, Bella, you came, I'm so happy."

"Thanks, Rose," I whispered back, pulling away from her hug and smiling warmly at her. I adored her, she was so damn wonderful to me, they all were really.

She grabbed my hand tightly and started pulling me towards the direction she'd come from saying brightly, "Come on you two, we're all waiting for you by the pool tables, everyone is here and my God, Alice is already drunk."

We all chuckled and took off with her, Cullen and Emmett following behind, muttering under their breath about drunken sisters.

She held my hand the whole way over to the pool tables, it was disconcerting to say the least, I wasn't used to this kind of friendship. Angela and I had always been close but not really touchy feely.

Once we got there, I saw Alice and Jasper standing together wearing jeans and matching fucking bowling shirts, their names above the pockets on the front. However, Alice's name read Pinky and Jasper's read The Brain.

As if that wasn't enough, the shirts were white and pink, bright fucking pink. Only Alice could con an unsuspecting Jasper into wearing a bright pink and white bowling shirt in public.

"Nice shirts, you tools," Cullen said sarcastically, laughing and snorting at them both.

"Shut it, Edward. I'll have you know Jasper got these for us for Christmas this year, I adore them," Alice answered bluntly. Her dark hair was spiky and her lips were stained magenta.

She smiled broadly, looked at me and gave a wink then said somewhat drunkenly, "Hello, Bella-fo-fella, how're you this fine evening?"

I laughed, raised an eyebrow to smirk at her and said, "Oh I'm just fine Alice, and yourself?"

"Feeling no pain, I assure you, feeling no pain indeed," she said smoothly, grinning at me and giving me another wink as she leaned into Jasper, smacking her magenta lips against his cheek. That was gonna leave a mark. He didn't wipe it off either, just grinned madly at me as he pulled her closer to him.

What was with these Cullen's getting their drunk on, damn they were so freaking funny. Talk about losing their inhibitions. Wait, maybe they never had any inhibitions to lose?

"You ready for a game of pool Bella? Edward sucks ass at pool, we're looking for some new blood, you in?" Jasper drawled, his voice was like smooth silk, a slight accent of sorts, or maybe just a lazy way of speaking. I bet his students hung on his every fucking word.

"Yeah, well, about that, how about I watch for a bit, I'm not the greatest pool player or dart thrower in town," I said seriously, my face scrunched in embarrassment. To be honest, I wasn't so sure I wanted to hang my ass out for the world to see playing pool. I liked to get the lay of the land, so to speak, to limit my innate ability to embarrass myself.

I watched them all as they looked back at me, kind smiles in their faces, seeing now that Bree was standing behind Alice and a guy a bit taller than Jasper was off to one side of her.

Jasper saw me make eye contact with Bree and said "Bella, I know you know Bree, but I'd like to introduce you to my friend Garrett."

Garrett moved around Jasper to grasp my hand and give it a shake, then grabbed Cullen's to shake his as well.

"Nice to meet you Bella, I've heard a lot about you from these fools, I can see they all adore you so the stuff they said must be true. You've made quite an impression on them with your strong sense of family and taking care of your best friends' child," he said sincerely, his voice taking a tone of compassion as he smiled beautifully at me.

Wow, the Cullen family discussed me? That was interesting and from the sounds of it, they fucking liked me too.

I smiled and said it was nice to meet him as well. He was a handsome guy, his black hair and golden brown eyes meshing well with his tawny skin. Bree was a lucky girl.

He had jeans and a green Mariners t-shirt on. I looked over at Bree, she seemed like she was doing all right, her adorable figure poured into a pair of tight gray jeans and a black hoodie over a silver tank. She also had high top red Chuck Taylors on. A girl after my own heart. I gave her a small wave and mouthed hello.

"Well enough of the intros people, let's split into teams of four. Edward and Garrett will play each other first, while the rest of us battle it to the death. Winners play each other afterwards." Alice announced commandingly, her hands on her hips.

"I bet she was a willful child, wasn't she?" I leaned into Cullen and said softly, so only he could hear, smiling mischievously up at him. He quirked his brows and nodded swiftly.

Cullen chuckled then leaned close to my ear. I could feel his warm breath against it as he said softly, "You want a beer Bella?"

"Sure, why not," I said matter of factly, giving my shoulders a shrug.

"Alrighty I'll get it and be right back," he said, turning and walking away towards the bar. I may or may not have watched his fucking beautiful ass as he walked away.

Fuck, he was fine.

Space, I wanted space. Earth to Bella, space, I told myself, repeating it so maybe it would resonate better.

After Cullen returned with my beer and a soda for himself, he and Garret set up the pool table and it was decided that Cullen would break.

He set up the shot and made two balls into the pockets and since they were both solids, that's what he called.

He missed the next shot so Garrett took his turn.

As he was taking the shot, Bree came over to stand next to me. We shared a smile and she said sweetly, "Hey Bella, isn't this fun?"

I nodded to her and started to say something when Garrett came towards us. He was smiling and looking at me with the oddest look on his face.

He stood there while he and Cullen played out the rest of the game, making idle

conversation with me, seemingly excluding Bree from adding anything in.

I didn't really understand why he was talking with me when he was supposed to be getting to know Bree better. I looked at her, her face crestfallen. Uh oh, looked like he wasn't into her. Oh fuck, poor Bree.

I started noticing Cullen moving closer and closer to me during the game, eventually his leg leaning against mine as we sat on the bar stools next to Bree.

She excused herself to go to the restroom as the guys finished the game that Garrett had won. I saw Cullen say something in a low voice to Garrett, his face turned red and then he walked over towards me.

"Is everything okay?" I asked nervously, my eyes flicking back and forth between Cullen and the now retreating Garrett.

"I told him to stop being an ass to his date and stop flirting with mine," he said angrily.

Suddenly his head popped up and he looked into my eyes seriously. Oh fuck, what the hell? I was supposed to be Cullen's _date_?

* * *

**A/N~**

I took liberties with the Twilight Lounge, it does exist, but it is now a martini bar. I'm not sure if there are any darts or pool games going on there, but in my world, yeah, there are!

http: /www(dot)twilightmartini(dot)com/


	18. Chapter 18

Thanks to my awesome betas GrayMatters and PixieKat7.

Any and all mistakes you find will be mine.

Fuck count: 39

Special thanks to Nikita2009 and Katinki for pre-reading.

They are amazing and I couldn't do this without them!

Since FF is STILL fail, I can only hope that people who reviewed got my pm's thanking them. If you didn't get a review response, my apologies, I ALWAYS reply. I thank you so much for taking the time to review.

So without further ado, Cullen has some things to say...

**Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight related characters you see below. The words are mine.**

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* * *

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**CHAPTER 17**

"Uh, Bella..." Cullen stuttered, his eyes huge, fully panicked at having said I was his date. I stopped him from going any further, putting my fingers against his lips.

"Shh, it's okay, Cullen, I get it," I said softly, feeling his warm lips under my fingers as they turned into a smile.

"I sorta see your point; I mean Garrett is supposed to be here for Bree, not to talk to me. I know you didn't mean anything by it, it's all good," I said seriously, shaking my head as I pulled my hand away from his face. He surely must've been insinuating that comment just to get Garrett to pay more attention to Bree. He couldn't possibly mean I was his date. I'd been sort of aloof all night. Hell I'd been aloof for two weeks–space, remember?

"See, here's the thing Bella. I want you to be my date, you need to know that. I don't want to watch guys like Garrett flirt with you, it makes me angry and jealous," he said softly, moving closer to me until only a few inches separated our bodies, trying to make his point clear to me.

I just stood there, my mouth agape, staring at him stupidly. I mean I fucking knew he was interested in me, we'd kissed for fuck's sake, but I really just thought we'd go with the flow and the attraction would just go away. Well, I assumed _his_ attraction to _me_ would go away. There was nothing special about me that should attract a guy like Cullen in the first place.

Then he put his hands gently on my hips and pulled me closer to him so he could whisper in my ear.

"Bella, I'm not drunk tonight, I have feelings for you, you should already know that. I want us to explore those feelings together, I know you must sense something between us. It can't just be me that feels this... this thing," he said, his warm breath against my ear as he removed a hand from my hip and motioned between our bodies.

When I looked up into his gleaming eyes, I almost came undone. The look on his face was pure honesty and full of longing. It was fucking unnerving.

"Please, Bella, give me a chance to show you it can work out for us, please?" he said gently, running his hands along my waist softly, his touch eliciting feelings in me that I wasn't ready to acknowledge yet.

My God, I needed to make a decision. I needed to decide whether or not I was going to live my life safe, boring and uninspired or if I was going to step out, take a leap of faith and see what could happen with this guy, who clearly was going way out of his comfort zone to profess his feelings for me. I owed it to Cullen and I also owed it to Angela and Ben to try and make the best life possible for myself, since it would always directly affect Robby.

"You're thinking too hard, try to go with what your heart is telling you to do Bella," Cullen whispered as he stared hard into my eyes.

"Oh Jesus, Cullen, I'm so confused, I don't want to ruin anything, I don't want something bad to happen. We've been getting along so well. It's my shit-for-luck, bad things always happen," I said sadly, looking down at the floor.

He removed one of his hands from my hip; put it under my chin to lift it up so he could look into my eyes. His thumb was rubbing back and forth on it gently.

"Bella, don't think, just feel. What do you feel?" he said softly, treating me like a scared animal.

"I feel...I feel...I'm very attracted to you, you make me a little crazy. You make me feel things I haven't felt in years and it scares the fucking shit out of me," I said honestly, shaking my head.

He leaned down, his face next to mine, his nose touching my nose.

"Don't be scared, be excited. This thing between us, it can't be denied. Let's just see where it goes, okay?" he said sweetly, as he kissed the tip of my nose and pulled back a bit from me.

Then he backed away from my body and reached over and clasped my hand gently, running his thumb back and forth in a calming gesture.

I looked down at our hands, the warmth giving me a tingle, I lifted my face back up to look at his and I smiled.

"Oh, God, I should try right? Just promise me Cullen, if this doesn't work out, no matter what, Robby comes first, okay?" I said nervously, my heart beating about a hundred miles an hour. I was fucking terrified to trust him, hell; I was terrified to trust anyone. Especially myself.

"You have my solemn promise on that, Bella," he said, smiling widely at me, excitement radiating off his face. He gave my fucking hand a squeeze, pulling me towards the others who had gathered on the other side of the pool table area.

Alice was giving me a shit-eating grin and I blushed furiously, biting my lip and ducking my head down.

Suddenly, I heard Rose say under her breath, "Oh my God, they're holding hands Emmett!"

Alice sent out a soft, muted "Shhh..." to stop Rose from saying anything else I may over hear.

My head snapped up and I looked at everyone, they were all smiling and staring at our clasped hands. Can you say embarrassing?

Emmett, God bless him, saved the day by saying sarcastically to Cullen, "So little brother, ready to have your ass kicked at darts?"

Cullen smirked, gave out a hearty chuckle and never letting go of my hand said, "Oh we'll see whose ass gets kicked here, I get Bella on my team and we are sooo gonna sweep the floor with you!"

I gripped Cullen's hand fiercely, turning towards him and replying in a strongly worded whisper, shaking my head back and forth quickly, "Cullen, no, I can't throw darts, or play darts or whatever you call it! Oh my God, I suck at darts; I look like I have a nervous disorder when I throw a fucking dart!"

He was looking at me, his face full of pent up laughter, giving my hand another quick squeeze he said sweetly, "That's okay Bella, he doesn't know that yet, let's just make him think we got game, even if we don't."

I just shrugged my shoulders and said snarkily, "Your funeral, don't say I didn't warn you. Oh and everyone may want to take a piss before we start, they might pee their fucking pants when I start throwing."

"I know, let's not warn them, a little extra excitement tonight can't hurt," he answered, laughing at my grave warning.

He held my hand until we got ready to start the dart game, I grabbed my beer and chugged it in one fell swoop. I needed some liquid encouragement.

Cullen, Emmett and Rose all took their turns, when it came time for me to throw; I grabbed the dart and got into position.

I stood there, my ass jutted out; my arm at the ready and then...then I attempted to throw.

I hit the wall below the dart board. Zero score times infinity.

There was complete stunned silence for a moment, I felt all the fucking blood rush to my face, I wanted the earth to swallow me whole.

I turned around and Cullen was gracefully biting his cheek, yes I could physically see it happening, holding himself back from laughing. Alice had her hand slapped across her fucking mouth, Jasper looked like someone surprised the shit out of him, Rose, Bree and Garrett all stood with their mouths open in shock their eyebrows had gone missing. They had gone completely up into their fucking hairlines in disbelief. But Emmett, well, he looked as though he was fucking having a fit.

He was lying across the bar stool, his shoulders shaking in silent laughter, his face beet red. He rose up suddenly, took a deep breath in and laughed louder than I'd ever heard anyone laugh in my entire fucking life.

"Oh holy shit! That... was... the... funniest fucking thing... oh my God, oh my GOD!" he said between guffaws.

"Where the hell did you learn to throw a dart, little Bella fo-fella? Jesus H. Christ!" again, said between hearty guffaws, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.

"Shut your pie hole, Emmett! I told Alice my hand eye coordination sucks. She didn't fucking believe me," I said indignantly, putting my hands on my hips in a defiant gesture, trying valiantly to not laugh my fucking ass off too.

Then the whole group of them started laughing heartily, Cullen included. I had to fucking laugh as well, since someone had recorded me playing darts one time and showed it to me. I knew I looked ridiculous when I threw darts.

Cullen walked towards me, grabbing me in for a hug as he continued to fucking laugh his ass off.

"Wow, you weren't kidding were you, Bella?" he said against my hair by my ear as he held me close to his body.

My senses went into overdrive. I was breathing in his smell again, fighting the urge to lick his neck.

I think I may have even closed my eyes and taken a big sniff because suddenly he pulled back from me a bit to look closely into my face and said worriedly, "Oh fuck! You're not crying are you?"

"God, no! But I might be soon if you make me throw anymore darts!" I exclaimed.

Still laughing heartily, Emmett said sarcastically, "I think for the sake of fucking safety we better not have you throw any more darts, Bella, trust me, you've proven your point."

I rolled my eyes at him, released myself from Cullen and walked over to lightly smack his big arm.

"Be nice Emmett!" I said laughing.

He grabbed me in a massive bear hug and screeched jokingly while dancing around with me squished in his fucking arms, "Bella fo-fella, you are a good sport, I think I like you. NO! I KNOW I like you!"

He set me down and Cullen grabbed my hand pulling me towards him again. It was as if he didn't want to fucking let me go for one second. Maybe he thought I'd change my mind? Who the fuck knows, I just might, I was still scared shitless.

I looked up to see him staring down at me. I motioned for him to lean down so I could whisper in his ear, "Why are you still holding my hand?" I said softly.

"Because, you're letting me," he whispered back to me affectionately as he stared into my eyes, rubbing his thumb back and forth against my hand.

We hung out there for a few more hours, I silently observed Garrett trying a lot harder with Bree. She ended up leaving with a huge smile on her face, as he gave her another chance and ended up liking what he saw. That made me happy for them. He shook Cullen's hand when they left and whispered something in his ear. I couldn't hear what it was but Cullen smiled at him so it must have been good.

A few minutes later we said our goodbyes, hugging everyone before leaving. Man these Cullens were sure demonstrative! I wasn't used to all the hugging.

Rose whispered softly into my ear as she hugged me saying, "Bella, I'm so happy to see you and Edward together... you're perfect for him."

I just looked at her and smiled softly, turning to hug Alice next.

"Bella, don't over think it sweetie, I promise, I know Edward, he's in it for the long haul," she said firmly into my ear, hugging me extra tight.

"Thanks Alice," I said quietly.

I waved goodbye to Jasper and went to wave to Emmett when he came barreling towards me to grab me in a big bear hug.

"Thanks for the laughs Bella fo-fella, you made this night a shit-ton more fun. Thanks for being such a good sport with the teasing too, by the way," he said loudly. Then he added with a whisper, "I knew you'd be good for my little brother, I just knew it. He needs someone like you Bella."

He hugged me a bit tighter then set me down.

Cullen grabbed my hand as we walked off, waving goodbye again as we headed towards the doors. I heard a squeal when we were almost outside that I recognized as Alice's.

I looked up at him and he was looking down at me with happy eyes. I gave a small chuckle, saying, "Your sister is a nut."

He grinned wider and we walked quickly to the car.

The drive home was officially the most tense I'd ever had, small talk aside, we were both fucking nervous. It would have been fucking hysterical had I been able to stop freaking out for a damn minute.

We walked into the kitchen, me following Cullen. He walked over to the fridge and pulled out a beer, then looked over his shoulder at me to see if I wanted one, his brows raised in question.

"Sure, I'll have one," I said, shrugging my shoulders indifferently.

"Are you tired, Bella? Or do you feel like watching a little television?" he asked his voice cracking a little, betraying his own nerves.

"No, not tired, television sounds good," I answered.

We made our way into the living room, Cullen switched the TV on and we settled onto the couch, me sitting down first and him sitting right next to me. God this was going to take some getting used to.

On the one hand, damn, I liked it, he smelled so fucking good, lethal really. On the other hand it freaked me the fuck out having him so near me.

"So, Bella, you know, I was thinking. I think maybe I need to explain something to you. It's about the night we first met, the blind date night," he said cryptically.

Uh oh, did I want to fucking know what he was going to say?

I found that I did, I really did.

I nodded my acquiescence, and he continued.

"So, for months all I heard from Ben over and over was about Bella. Bella, Bella, Bella. It was as if you were too good to be true. First it was little things, things you'd said that made him laugh or things you'd done for he and Ang. They clearly adored you, you were a huge part of their world," he started, his voice gentle and kind.

"I knew where it was all headed, I mean the closer he and I got, the more he would talk about his life and since you were such a huge part of it, he spoke of you daily as well."

"One day he finally came out with it, after hinting around and asking random questions about my love life. He wanted to know if he and Ang could fix us up on a date, he said you were the perfect girl for me," he continued, his voice commanding my attention. It wasn't loud, it wasn't soft but it was full of conviction. He was staring at me, keeping his eyes glued to mine throughout his revelation.

"At first I said no, I didn't want to be _that_ guy. I told him I was dating Tanya off and on and that was good enough for me, I didn't want anything serious like he and Ang had. I'd been burned once, it was not happening again."

"I managed to put him off for a couple of months but then, once they found out they were pregnant with Robby, he started back up in earnest. I guess they just wanted the people they loved to be as happy as they were," he said sadly, clearly remembering how wonderful our friends were.

I remembered Ang telling me all the same things.

"One day he said that he was having you for a barbecue, that you and I were to be the baby's Godparents and we needed to meet. Since we were going to be meeting anyway, why not let it be kind of a fix up. You know, I meet you, we fall in love," he trailed off laughing.

"I think he was even more a romantic at heart than Ang was, honestly, it made me laugh. I couldn't say no Bella, I just couldn't," he said seriously, shaking his head and swallowing hard, his eyes moist.

I sat there listening to him, I could relate since I'd have almost the exact experience with Ang daily and then having them both tag team me over it constantly. I too had given in.

"So they set us up. I prepared myself before hand; I was _NOT_ going to like you. I refused to go down that path. I didn't want to be _that_ guy, so badly didn't want to be _that_ guy..."

"But then, I walked in, saw you sitting there in your ripped jeans, Idol shirt and Chucks and I knew, I knew right that minute I was fucked, But then, when I touched you and the tingle.. the hand tingle, oh God," he told me, hanging his head down to his chest and taking a deep sigh.

I started to say something and his head snapped up quickly, his bright sea green eyes looking at me and he begged softly, "Please... let me finish."

"I looked at you that night, Bella, and something snapped. I knew he was right. Ben was fucking right. Your attitude was snarky, your clothes and demeanor were giving off this _leave me the fuck alone_ vibe. But, your eyes, your eyes said _'figure me out Cullen'_."

"I was a goner, right then. I didn't like that feeling, not one little bit. That loss of control over my emotions, the fact that when I looked at you I wanted to grab you and hold on for dear life, knowing that we would be amazing together," he said seriously, gazing deeply into my eyes trying to make me see what he meant.

Oh I saw what he meant alright, fuck me sideways, I saw. I felt some of those same emotions that night as well.

"So instead I acted like a prick, determined to prove Ben, Ang and mostly myself, wrong. I capitalized on your snark, I made you mad and I offended you. I knew exactly what to do to make you walk away from me."

"Of course, I knew I succeeded when you stormed out all pissed off, oh damn if you'd have seen the '_I'm gonna kick your ass_' looks Angela was giving me, even you might have felt sorry for me. She was pissed," he said laughing, shaking his head at the memory.

"She made her excuses and left the kitchen, stalking up the stairs and slamming their bedroom door. Ben looked at me and said 'What the fuck Cullen?'. I knew I was going to have to maneuver out of this carefully."

"So I did what any self respecting asshole would do. I denied. I told him I wasn't interested, you weren't my type, you were a bitch, and I was trying to be serious with Tanya. Denial, denial, denial. He saw right through my bullshit though, didn't he? Cuz look who got the last word, Angela and Ben." he said seriously, shaking his head.

My God, who knew this night was going to be so cathartic when we started it? I couldn't fucking wait to hear what else he had to say. Right now it was looking like we both had the exact same reactions to that night.

"So I went on with life until the Christening. My God, Bella, when I saw you coming up the stairs I could hardly breathe. I wasn't nervous to see you, I was excited. It scared the shit out of me. So that was when I decided to meet you outside, when you were nice to me, I freaked; I did my dick act again hoping you'd keep your distance, and look; it worked."

I remembered my reaction to him the day of the Christening and how he seemingly went all asshole on me for no reason, re-offending me.

"So again, I go on living my life, loving Robby, trying to make Tanya help me forget about you. I didn't want to admit my feelings. And then, they died. If you had any idea... if _I_ had any idea at how bad I fucked things up it was that night. Coming over to see you with my mom and seeing you like that... God I just couldn't bear it. I broke down so many times and came into that room to check on you I think I wore a hole in the carpet."

"My parents knew I was having some issues, I think they just thought I was upset over Ben and Ang, I was of course, but they didn't know it was you who stole into my soul and buried yourself there to grow and bloom. I was truly overcome. I didn't know how I was going to handle it all and then, then the will. That damn will. Ben was laughing at me from heaven I just know he was," he said with a light laugh.

"I behaved like a complete dick those first few weeks Bella, I'm so fucking sorry for that now; I hope you'll someday be able to forgive me. I was just...just so fucking petrified about spending time alone with you in this house with their memories so strong, knowing what they wanted, hell, what _I_ wanted," he said firmly.

"I want this Bella, I want us, I'm serious. I hope you see that," he said as he grabbed my hand tightly in his.

"Oh hell, Cullen," I said with a small smile. I was so scared right now; this information was all so overwhelming.

"Bella, stop it, stop trying to avoid the real world. Tell me right now, do we have a chance, can you take this chance?" he said seriously, staring at me with so much emotion in his face I could barely stand to look at him. He was waiting for my answer.

It was simple really, my answer, "Yes," I said softly, in a whisper, looking up into his eyes.

He was looking at me with fire in his eyes; he pulled me towards him suddenly, his lips crashing against mine, his tongue storming my mouth. I gave as good as I got, my emotions all over the place.

We sat there consumed with each other; I was moaning, deepening the kiss and rubbing my hands up and down Cullen's back.

His lips were warm, the taste of beer on his tongue, he trailed delicious wet kisses down my neck, as I turned my head to grant him greater access.

I felt his hand snake up my sides and rest just under my bra. His thumb started grazing along my hardened nipple over my shirt, I groaned in want as his hand fully cupped my breast, squeezing it.

"Bella, my God, I want to touch you so badly, I want to feel your skin on mine, please let me feel you, say I can," he said into my neck, all but begging.

"Yes, Cullen, yes. I want to feel you too," I moaned.

* * *

**A/N~ **Sorry for posting this late, I was really sick last week and didn't get any writing done so I won't be posting on Tuesday next week either. I'm hopeful for Thursdays for now. There are probably only about six chapters left.  
Sorry this got out so late but Breaking Dawn stills left me a little... ferklempt.


	19. Chapter 19

Any and all mistakes you find will be mine.

Fuck count: 19

(Whoa, way low! Indicating not too much talking perhaps?)

Special thanks to Nikita2009 and Katinki for pre-reading.

They are amazing and I couldn't do this without them!

Thanks for all the new alerts and reviews, you're all awesome.

**Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight related characters you see below. The words are mine.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 18**

Cullen slid his hand back down to the hem of my shirt, skirting his fingers underneath and onto my bare midriff. I let out a moan at the feel of his fingers on my skin.

The heat of his fingertips grazed up my torso lightly, like a tickle, but oh so fucking not a tickle, more like a titillation...his fingers were driving me mad. They were soft as silk, not rough like I thought they might be. It felt like sin on skin, the velvety tips of them ghosting along my ribs up towards my breasts.

"Oh God, Cullen...," I groaned, my breath coming in quick pants as his fingers made contact with my now extremely hard nipples over my bra. His thumbs pressing against my nipples in a circular motion.

His head was buried in the crook of my neck, lips licking, sucking, lightly biting. I could feel his warm breath swirled with the wet of his tongue as he licked along my collar bone and back up behind my ear.

"Bella, please, please tell me I can take off your shirt, I need to see you," he whispered into my ear, his voice rough with desire.

He backed up and looked at me, his hooded sea green eyes full of want, the fucking smile on his face making me swoon since he chose that moment to fucking bring his tongue out and lick his lips sexily.

Oh my God, he was absolutely fucking lethal.

Smiling demurely I stared back into his eyes, echoing the longing for more contact with my eyes as well. He smiled even broader and said in a whisper, "Does that mean yes?"

I nodded, my sudden inability to speak didn't stop me from doing what he wanted. What we _both _wanted.

He and I worked together to remove my shirt, leaving my bra on, for some reason I was feeling shy all of the sudden.

I was so glad I'd worn one of my good bras tonight. My teal blue lace push up bra did its job well. Cullen looked at me with a soft gasp.

"Jesus, Bella, you're stunning..." he said in awe as his hands softly palmed my breasts.

"Can I kiss them, please?" he asked gently, as if he was afraid I was going to run away.

I still couldn't voice my reply, instead nodding my head in approval of his request yet again.

He leaned forward, his lips making their way down my chest, stopping for a moment to lick my breast bone with his warm, wet tongue. The sensation of that, along with my desire for him to touch my nipples almost made me grab him and throw him to the other side of the couch and have my fucking way with him.

Instead, I remained still as he made his way to my nipples, working one with his fingers and the other with his delicious tongue and teeth. He alternated between light love bites and tongue over the lace of my bra for a few minutes before pulling down the lace and taking my nipple gently between his teeth and giving a gentle tug.

My voice suddenly found, I groaned in pleasure, eliciting moan of his own to escape from his mouth. The vibration of his moan against my nipple hit me right in my pussy, it was like a fucking electric shock.

He backed away from my nipple, looking up at me with a devilish look in his eyes and said, "Bella, my God, you're perfect, absofuckinglutely perfect. I never thought it would be so.. I mean I can't even believe how beautiful you are, your body, your mind, your soul."

Suddenly he was kissing me with everything he had, his tongue snaking in and out of my mouth, somehow rough and sweet at the same time. I was grabbing his hair, rubbing my hands all over his fucking chest and then back up his neck into his hair.

I was groaning and moaning and enjoying every blessed minute when suddenly he stopped, eased away again and whipped his shirts off in one motion, throwing them out of the way. We watched them land on the top of the television and as we made eye contact we both started giggling.

Cullen took a deep breath and leaned in closer to me resting his forehead on mine.

"Bella, I don't want to scare you, if I move too fast please tell me to stop."

"I will, Cullen, I promise," I answered softly, staring into his eyes, willing myself to slow the fuck down.

"Do you want to move somewhere more comfortable? Or would you rather stay down here?" he asked me tenderly, running his fingers down the side of my face softly.

I had to stop and think about this for a minute. I was _NOT_ fucking ready for anything more than exactly what we were doing at this stage right now, so no fucking way was I going to move this to a bedroom of any kind.

"Really, I think we should stay down here, if you don't mind. I don't want the temptation of a bed, if you know what I mean," I said seriously, biting my lip nervously,

looking down between us.

Hearing him take a deep sigh, I instantly thought he was angry. Even thought I was afraid of what I'd see, I took a chance and looked up at his face. He eyes were shut tightly, his lips in a firm straight line.

"Cullen, I'm so sorry, I'm just not..." I trailed off as his fingers came up to stop the words from coming out of my lips.

"Shh, Bella, shh. I'm not mad, I'm glad you told me how you feel. Really I am. I don't want to go too fast here, I'm just over eager. I didn't think for a second when this night began that it would EVER end anywhere near this way," he said quietly, his eyes suddenly gazing into mine intently.

"How about if we just stay here, make out like teenagers on a date? Does that sound okay?" he asked me, waggling his eyebrows up and down comically.

I had to laugh at his attempt to lighten our mood a bit. It was rather comical really, if you considered the fucking fact that I was shirtless, one boob hanging out of my bra and him shirtless as well. I'm sure we looked quite the pair.

He chuckled and pulled me forward in a warm hug, his hands around me on my back pulling me tight against him.

"God, Bella, you feel so good against me, I just can't believe this feeling," he said against my hair.

Leaning back against the couch, I looked into his eyes. He was looking down at me, you could see the lust and some other emotion I couldn't quite place, pouring off him in waves. I wanted to drink it, it was so intoxicating.

Slowly he came down towards my face, my eyes were riveted on his mouth, he paused for a second to lick his lips, his pink tongue snaking out and resting slightly on his bottom lip.

He gave me a gentle smile and softly came closer to kiss me once again.

He was soft and tender, whispering kisses along my top lip, bottom lip, the corners of my mouth, making his way up my cheek bones, kissing me lightly along my eyelids and eyebrows as well.

"I just want to worship you, Bella, you're so fucking gorgeous," he said with a whimper.

Grabbing his head, I pulled it towards my mouth and attacked him with my tongue. I moaned, thrusting my tongue in and out of his mouth, teasing his lips with it and then biting his bottom lip gently.

I wanted to give as good as I was getting. He tilted his neck, granting me access as I made my way over his chin, his rough stubble rubbing against my lips, chaffing them in a way that hurt so good.

Licking and nibbling along his jaw, I made my way down his neck and to his collar bone. I traced along the edge with my tongue, lightly pushing him back and away from me so he could be the one resting against the couch as I made my way down his body to his nipples.

The hard planes of his chest that I had admired and itched to touch were under my roaming hands, I could feel his heart beating fiercely. His breathing was erratic, his pants and moans turning me on like never before.

I grabbed one of his hardened nipples between my fingers, squeezing and flicking it, I fucking know he liked it because he groaned so loud I could feel it in my pussy. Jesus

I don't think I'd ever been this wet before. My fucking underwear were soaked.

Leaning down, I took one nipple into my mouth, sucking hard and flicking it with my tongue while I sucked it.

I thought he was going to fucking come undone. He bucked up and away from the couch with a loud groan whispering my name like a prayer.

"Oh my God, Bella, that feels so... fuuuuuck, so fucking good," he moaned.

"Mmm hmmm... I know," I said teasingly.

He grabbed my head and pulled me up to kiss me hard. We stayed that way, moaning into each other's mouths for a while as we continued to explore each other's bodies gently.

"Damn, Bella, what you do to me," he groaned, as he pulled away for air.

"What _do _I do to you, Cullen?" I teased, licking along his jaw line.

Suddenly he reached down, grabbed my hand and thrust it against his crotch. Sweet fucking hell, his cock was hard as steel and huge against my hand. My fingers curled of their own volition and shaped themselves against his hardness, and I had to fight the urge to move my hand up and down his impressive length.

I think my eyes bugged out of my head as I snatched my hand away from temptation, my blush out of control. Edward gave me a laugh and said, "Yeah, _that_, that's what you do to me."

"Listen, Cullen, I think maybe we need to back the truck up a bit, I don't want to move too fast," I said quietly, suddenly overwhelmed.

"You're right, of course you're right," he said seriously.

He moved away from me, grabbing my discarded shirt and handing it to me as he got off the couch to get his own.

Quickly, I put on my shirt as he put his on. He then turned around and grabbed my hand saying kindly, "Come on, Bella, I think it's time to hit the sack."

I must have had a deer-in-the-headlights look on my face because he looked at me and laughed and said, "In our _own_ beds, Bella, I promise. My balls are going to be blue, but you're worth it."

Chuckling lightly, I allowed him to lead me up the stairs to my bedroom door. When we got there, he stopped and leaned against the door jam, still holding my hand tightly in his.

"I want you to know, this has been one of the best nights I've ever had. I'm making you a promise Bella, I promise to woo you and prove to you that we can make this work," he said endearingly.

I smiled softly at him as he leaned forward to place a light kiss against my lips.

"Until tomorrow then. Sweet dreams Bella," he murmured in my ear, dropping my hand and heading down the hall to his own room.

I just stood there, in a stupor, watching him walk away…and ogling his ass, of course.

I was totally entranced by him, unable to wipe the grin off my face at his words.

Waiting in the hallway until he was at his bedroom door, I watched as he turned to wave goodnight. He blew me a kiss, which was about the cutest fucking thing ever. I went into my room and closed the door, crossing over to my bed and falling back onto it.

Oh my fucking God, what the hell? I was completely, irrevocably smitten with Cullen. The first night of him trying to woo me and I was already a goner.

How did I think I'd make it through the promise he had just made me without spontaneously combusting? _Yeah, never gonna happen!_

* * *

**A/N~ **Sorry the chapter was kinda short. Spring break for teenagers makes writing VERY difficult! I hope the lemon-lime made up for it a bit!


	20. Chapter 20

Extra special thanks to GrayMatters and PixieKat7 this week:

They moved mountains for me to get this to you, I sent it to them late.

Any and all mistakes you find will be mine.

Fuck count: *low*

I removed a lot because of the baby, we don't want fuck to be his first word now do we?

Special thanks to Katinki and Nikita2009 for pre-reading.

They're amazing and I couldn't do this without them!

I thank you so much for taking the time to review.

**Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight related characters you see below. The words are mine.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 19 **

I woke up the next morning, stretching lazily in my bed. I lay there and thought about Cullen and how wonderful he'd been to me last night. Soft and gentle, as if I were a fragile flower, easily broken.

Smiling to myself at the memories of his lips on mine, his hands touching me and his words, I felt like I was on cloud nine. I mean come on, it was a fucking overload of emotions going on for me in such a short period of time.

The way he was with me showed me he was serious, I could trust him and most of all, it showed me that I really wanted what we could have together. It didn't mean it wasn't a fucking scary prospect, though.

Starting to feel overwhelmed with the whirlwind of emotions running through my head, I took a mental step back. I wanted this with Cullen, I really did. If it was going to work out, I had to trust him. Ang and Ben wouldn't have steered me wrong if they had left their child in mine and Cullen's care. He was worth the risk to my heart, I knew that now.

The house was quiet and looking over at the clock I saw that I'd slept in considerably. It was after eleven. I fucking never slept this late. It was like a little slice of heaven. How wonderful that the Cullens had agreed to keep Robby overnight for us. I missed that sweet baby though.

Rolling out of bed, I was intent on getting a quick shower and then running over there to pick him up. Robby loved the Cullens as much as they loved him. They spoiled him rotten, I was sure to find a new educational toy of some kind in his diaper bag later, but I missed him.

After showering, I got dressed in my old faded Levi's and a blue Seahawks sweatshirt then pulled my hair up in a high ponytail. I didn't bother with makeup, it didn't matter to me what I looked like to go get Robby, I just wanted him home with me and Cullen, where he belonged.

Slipping my ratty Chucks on my feet, I headed out my bedroom and down the stairs, I could hear Cullen talking to someone. As I headed into the kitchen, I couldn't believe the sight that awaited me.

Cullen had already gone and picked Robby up and was currently feeding him lunch in his high chair, though it looked more like Cullen was wearing Robby's lunch. Sweet potatoes covered Cullen's face in small spatters.

Smiling to myself, I leaned against the door frame to take it all in. Cullen and Robby hadn't noticed me yet.

"Come on Robby...oh man, you know you like sweet potatoes! Don't go spittin' them on me, take a bite buddy," Cullen said persuasively, opening his mouth to show Robby what to do.

I watched as he fed a spoonful of the dreaded sweet potatoes into Robby's mouth.

Robby gave a big smile and then proceeded to blow the mouthful of sweet potatoes back into Cullen's face. Then as if it was the best thing in the world, he fucking giggled.

Cullen wiped his face with his hand, backed up a bit and said humorously as he tilted his head to the side, "I'm thinking maybe these were a bad idea Robster, you no likey deese sweet taters?"

Robby giggled again, his little tooth showing as he tried to blow more of the food onto

Cullen, but had nothing left in his arsenal to make a mark. He didn't seem to care, he was having fun blowing.

At that point, I couldn't hold it in anymore. I started laughing and they both turned quickly towards me. Robby got all excited when he saw me, his legs kicking frantically and his face breaking into a big smile. That kid was adorable.

I walked slowly over to them, arching my brow at Cullen as I said sarcastically, "You know, Cullen, sweet potato orange is really not your color, is it?"

He stood up and made his way towards me, leaning in to give me a light kiss on my lips. He slid his sweet potato-covered finger down my cheek and said softly with laughter in his voice, "It isn't your color either, is it, Bella?"

His nearness caused my heart to palpitate, while his kiss, even though it was light, ignited the same feelings I'd had last night, even stronger by the light of day.

"Good morning, Bella, sleep well?" he whispered near my ear.

"Good morning, I did sleep well, and you?" I answered softly, looking into his eyes.

"I slept fitfully, thinking of someone down the hall..." he said gently, sharing my gaze.

Robby chose that moment to break the spell, uttering the most wonderful word ever.

"Beh," he said.

I looked wide-eyed at Cullen. "Oh my God! Cullen, did he just say my name? Oh my God, he said my freaking name!" I exclaimed joyfully, clapping my hands and bouncing with excitement.

"I think he did, Bella, holy crap!" Cullen said excitedly.

"Robby, say 'Bella', can you say it Robby," I said to him in a sing-song voice.

He smiled really big and looking up at me said, "Beh."

Oh my fucking God! He did say it. Did other babies say words at five and a half months old? We had a prodigy here, I was so proud!

"Holy shitballs, he said my freaking name, Cullen!" I exclaimed again. Cullen's face was full of joy for me, his smile huge and loving.

He laughed at my exuberance over Robby, taking my hand and kissing my fingertips.

"Bella, you're adorable, you know this right? I love how excited you are about this, but, it could be just gas or something," he said with a smirk.

"Now wait just one minute... you agreed he said my name, now you're taking it back? I think you're jealous, Cullen, yes you are sooo jealous," I kidded, giving his hand a squeeze.

Robby giggled at us, I turned to look at him again as his innocence and lightness washed over me, what a feeling!

"Robby, Cullen is jealous, isn't he? He just wishes you'd said Cullen and you didn't. You said Bella," I said to Robby, my voice soothing and soft.

Robby followed up with yet another, "Beh."

"Ha ha, see, Cullen, definitely a Bella," I laughed, giving Cullen a snarky smile.

He pulled me towards him and kissed me again lightly.

"This is okay right? I can kiss you, and you don't mind," he asked gently, his face full of concern.

"Yeah, it's fine, in fact, it's great," I answered with a soft moan.

At the sound of my moan, Cullen deepened the kiss, his tongue gently prodding my lips

open, entering my mouth sinfully and slowly, teasingly biting my bottom lip as he did.

We stood that way for a minute and just when we started to get carried away, Cullen moaning into my mouth and getting a little more aggressive with the kiss, Robby chose that moment to pitch a fit.

Cullen pulled away from me, lightly resting his forehead against mine, and said wistfully, "Cock blocked by a baby."

I giggled, pulling myself away from him to get the washcloth and clean Robby's face and Cullen's and mine as well.

He stood and watched me for a few seconds before clearing his throat and saying,

"So, Bella, it looks like it's gonna be a nice day, you feel like taking Robby to the park for a bit?"

"That sounds awesome, I bet he'd love that," I answered excitedly.

We got ready and took off for the park, it was a lovely day so we decided to walk there.

On the way, Cullen started talking about his life a bit.

"Bella, I'd like to tell you a little bit about my childhood, if that's okay? It was great; Emmett, Alice and I have been so lucky. Our lives were full of Aunts, Uncles, cousins... man we had so much fun at holidays and birthdays..."

Before I could respond he continued, I was glad though because I truly wanted to know about his life and how it was growing up in a large family.

"Our folks always encouraged us to be free spirits and be true to ourselves. It served us all well in our adult lives, as you can see, we all have very different career paths." he explained, running his hands through his hair and looking at me with a sweet smile.

"Alice has always loved kids, it wasn't a shock at all that she got an elementary education degree and uses it for her childcare center. Those kids have it made there, they'll go into grade school with such a terrific beginning foundation, all thanks to Alice."

"Did you know that she and Jasper are trying to get pregnant?" he asked me, his eyebrows raised in question, the smile on his face getting broader at the thought.

"No, I didn't know, that's wonderful news, they'll be such great parents," I said sincerely, looking up at him with a smile of my own. I knew, without a doubt, that Alice and Jasper would make wonderful parents.

"Yeah, they will, won't they."

"Then there's Emmett, you know he's always been such a food snob. Man it only made sense that he be a chef, he loves food with a passion. Rose is his perfect partner. They have been together since seventh grade. Childhood sweethearts," he said wistfully.

"Their bond is so strong, I always wanted what they have. I thought I'd found it with Kate, ya know? When I found out she was gay... well it really made me feel like my judgment was severely impaired. I couldn't trust myself. So from that point onward, I decided I was destined to be single, no serious relationships for me," he said firmly, his lips in a grim line.

"But then, then I met you," he said gently, grabbing my hand off the stroller and giving it a small squeeze as I looked up at him with a slight smile. He was looking back at me, his eyes bright with longing.

I didn't give any response other than a tender smile, but it didn't really seem as though Cullen was expecting one, plus, we reached the park and Robby started squealing excitedly.

I was thankful that Cullen had shared some of his past with me without forcing me to do the same. He was letting me move at my own pace and I knew that I would tell him about my own past when I was ready.

Taking Robby out of the stroller we put him on the baby swing and pushed him gently back and forth. He was really enjoying himself, kicking his little legs and making cute little noises of delight.

He would point to all the other kids and watch them intently, as if to say _'hey, what about me?'_, completely mesmerized with what they were doing. Occasionally an older child would make their way over and stop to say hello to him which got him really excited.

Eventually he got really cranky, letting us know it was time for his nap so we headed home to let him sleep.

After we got home and Robby was down for his nap, I found Cullen sitting in the living room, watching baseball.

"What's up? Can I sit with you?" I asked hesitantly, I didn't want to bug him.

"Sure, come on, sit right here," he said as he patted the spot next to him on the couch.

Okay, I could do this, I wanted this, I wanted to get close to him.

I sat down and his arm went around my shoulders pulling me closer towards him. He leaned down towards me and kissed the top of my head in a loving gesture.

His hand was rubbing up and down my arm, his fingertips tracing a pattern gently, his face was forward, his eyes on the game.

I moved my legs so they were over his lap and he used his free hand to grab them, pulling them closer to his body. We sat like that for a bit, him still watching the game, me watching him watch it.

"Bella? I was wondering...could I ask you some questions? I mean, I don't want to make you uncomfortable, I'd just love to know more about you," he said curiously.

"Sure, sounds good, what do you want to know?" I responded quickly, looking up at him with wide eyes, I could do this, I wanted to share more with him.

"Well, I'm pretty sure I want to know it all. All about you, what you like, what you don't like, what life is like for you..." he trailed off, looking at me with a soft small smile.

"Hmm... well, I like good food, good music, good friends. My favorite color is green, my favorite flower is a lilac, my favorite restaurant is Taco Bell cuz let's face it, you get more bang for your buck and it fucking rocks," I answered with mirth in my voice, as I stared up at him.

He was grinning down at me, and I loved the way he was looking at me.

"I had a fantastic childhood, even though I was an only child. My parents were wonderful and loving. Up until my mom died, it was perfection. I have no family left now, well besides Robby of course, my folks are both dead. I don't have any living cousins or grandparents, it's just me. It can be lonely, but I've gotten used to it, even before Ang and Ben died," I continued, sadness creeping into my voice as I hung my head in sorrow.

"Hey, no sad, we aren't doing sad today, okay, Bella?" Cullen said softly as he gave my hand a squeeze and lifted my chin up with his other hand to look into his eyes.

"Sorry, you're right, no sad today. Okay so I work which you know, I love to read, I love bike riding, walking around Green Lake, going to the zoo, and of course seeing Billy Idol every summer when he comes to town..." I trailed off with a snarky tone, then I laughed.

Cullen chuckled and gave my hand another squeeze before rolling his eyes and saying sarcastically, "Oh yeah, wouldn't wanna miss Billy Idol..."

I pinched his middle, causing him to squeak like a girl. Well, well, well, what did we have here?

"Ah ha! I figured something out about you didn't I, Cullen? You. Are. Ticklish!" I squealed, as I tickled him mercilessly, all over his rib cage and into his arm pits as he laughed and giggled, trying to escape my clutches.

I was fucking cracking up, we ended up landing on the floor in a heap, Cullen on top of me, as he tried to make me stop. His face was absolutely fucking beautiful, stunning really, the way his eyes lit up with happiness and his smile so wide and joyful. I was momentarily distracted by the pretty, which gave Cullen an opening to turn the tables and try and tickle me. I lay as still as a statue before I let him in on my secret.

"So, yeah, I'm not ticklish Cullen. Not one little bit. Not in any spot on my body whatsoever," I proudly told him as his face filled with disappointment over the now clear fact that I was indeed not ticklish and he wasn't going to be able to get me back.

"Well, we'll just have to see about that, won't we, Bella? I mean, I could possibly find a different way to tickle you? Right?" he said sexily, as he gazed down into my eyes.

I took a deep breath, staring back into his bright sea green eyes, hoping like hell he'd make good on his promise.

He leaned down and gave me a small kiss, lingering on my lips for a moment before backing away again.

Still laying somewhat on top of me on the floor he looked deeply into my eyes and said quietly, "You know, Bella, you're wrong about something, you do have family. My family wants to be your family. I mean I know we're all kind of in your face all the time but the love for you is there. Everyone, all of us, we want to be the family you need and deserve. Will you let us try?"

Fuck. He was serious and you know, I believed every word he said. His family had done nothing but treat me like one of their own since they met me. Helping with arrangements for Ben and Ang, taking care of Robby, helping us move, it was as if they'd already become my family without me even really noticing.

I could only nod, my eyes filling with emotional tears, not sad, not at all. Just the kind of tears you get when you realize how fucking lucky you are.

He leaned down again to kiss me, it was another small kiss, followed by his hands going into my hair and pulling my ponytail out.

"I love your hair, Bella, it's so beautiful, so soft and silky," he said as he ran his fingers lightly through my hair.

"Thanks, your hair's not bad either," I said with a big smile, staring into his eyes intently.

I fucking loved his messy damn sex hair. I could hardly wait until I was the one messing it up.

He smirked at me and asked, "What are you looking at Bella?"

"You." I said succinctly, my eyebrow raised.

"Hmm... well, now, I seem to be distracted from the game after you tickled me... care to see if you can keep me distracted, like maybe with a kiss?" he said seductively, staring at my lips.

"Yeah, we could try that if you wanted," I said shyly, biting my lip.

"Don't bite your lip Bella, you'll hurt yourself, come here, let me kiss it better," he whispered as he touched his lips gently to mine.

We lay there, exploring each other's mouths with our tongues, warm, sensual, inviting, playful.

It started to get more intense, firmer kissing, more tongue thrusting and some playful moans from both of us.

Cullen reached between our bodies, his hand snaking up inside my sweatshirt, finding its place on my warm breast.

"Mmm...Bella... God, you feel so good, so soft," he moaned into my mouth. "Can you touch me too, please?" he asked with a groan.

I didn't need more invitation than that, in fact, I felt kind of bad I hadn't already touched him, since I wanted to so badly. I think my only excuse was that with every kiss, every swipe of his tongue in my mouth, I was more and more fucking dazzled.

Reaching up under his blue t-shirt, I rubbed my hands along his sides and over his back, his groans of pleasure spurring me on as I reached around and gently pinched his nipples.

"Oh, Jesus, do that again, that feels so damn good," he moaned sexily.

I tweaked his nipples again, gently but firmly as he played with my breast, cupping it in his hand and rubbing his thumb across my nipple, which was now hard as a rock.

His hand grazed down my side, settling itself along the waistband of my jeans, reaching for my button. "May I?" he said lovingly, looking at me with longing and lust.

I nodded, swallowing nervously.

He unbuttoned my jeans and pulled the zipper down as he continued to kiss me passionately. His lips were trailing down my neck, over my shirt as he tried to slide my pants down my body.

"I think I might need some help here, Bella," he said roughly, his voice catching, his desire clear.

Lifting up, I wiggled my pants down enough far enough for him to pull them off. He took a deep breath, gazing down at my body then looked into my face as he licked his lips and bent down for another kiss.

"You are so fucking beautiful, you know this right? My God, I just..." he groaned into my mouth as his hand started to make its way down my leg and back up towards my panties.

His fingers paused at the elastic waistband of my panties, then he looked into my eyes and said seriously, "We don't have to do this, Bella. You can say no and I won't get mad."

"Cullen, what exactly do you have in mind, because I don't think I'm ready to go all the way yet..." I said, embarrassed by my current position.

"Oh no! No, I didn't plan on that, Bella. Oh my God, I just wanted… I was only going to touch you... make you feel good," he sputtered nervously. It was kind of cute how shocked his face looked.

"Well... go ahead then, make me feel good," I challenged, looking at him with longing of my own.

He grinned as he smashed down into me, his lips attacking mine with a fervor. Good lord, this boy could kiss.

I was working his shirt off, when he laughed and lifted up a bit saying, "I know, let's ditch our own shirts, far less chaotic that way, right?"

We each took a few seconds to whip our shirts off, he laid down next to me, his warm, bare skin touching mine.

"Jesus, Cullen, your skin on mine feels so good," I said breathlessly.

"Mmm... it does, doesn't it," he murmured into my mouth as his hand slid under the elastic of my panties and made its way towards my throbbing clit. I was soaked and now he was going to see exactly how fucking much he affected me.

He reached my wet pussy and moaned into my mouth. "Oh fuck, Bella, you're so wet, my God, that fucking turns me on. Do you have any idea what you're doing to me right now?"

Oh, I think I had a clue, his rock hard cock was against my hip, I could feel it through his jeans. I took my hand and rubbed the outside of his jeans as he groaned loudly.

"Take your jeans off, Cullen, why am I the only one with no pants on, doesn't seem quite fair does it?" I said teasingly.

He quickly got rid of his jeans, leaving his boxers on, his cock visibly straining against the front opening. I started rubbing the front of his boxers as he reached back into my panties to rub my clit gently.

We laid there moaning, rubbing and exploring each other. I was thrusting myself against his fingers, moaning and writhing against him. I moved my hand into his boxers, taking his cock firmly yet gently and moving it up and down slowly. He was fucking huge.

"Jesus, that feels...that feels so fucking good, Bella," he said thickly, swallowing hard.

"It does and Cullen, you make me feel so good too," I gasped, my voice lustful.

We lay there a few more minutes, kissing madly and working each other over. Cullen's touch was fucking magic, and my body was coming undone. My hips jerked toward him when he slid two fingers inside me, and I moaned loudly when his thumb rubbed my clit harder, making me see stars. Oh my God, he was fucking making me cum.

"Oh, oh, oh, God, Cullen, yes, unf..." I cried out as I came.

I continued to stroke my hand up and down his shaft, working it faster as I came, determined to give him the same pleasure he had given me. I listened as his own breathing became erratic, his groans coming quicker and more intense with each stroke of my hand.

"Jesus, Bella, yes, yes, oh God, yes..." he ground out through clenched teeth as I felt his cock pulsate in my grasp and his hot cum erupt out all over his stomach and my hand.

We lay there, our breathing ragged, our hands still on each other. He looked at me, smiled softly and kissed the corner of my mouth.

"That was... oh man, that was fantastic, Bella," he said sincerely, looking deeply into my eyes.

"It was, wasn't it?" I said softly, in awe as I removed my hand and wiped it off.

He slowly slid his hand out of my panties, his lingering touch making me shiver, and then leaned over and kissed me deeper before standing up and helping me off the floor. We both smiled and laughed when my legs wobbled a bit. I should have expected my knees to be weak after the best fucking orgasm I'd had in…well…_ever_.

Handing me my sweatshirt and jeans, he grinned at me. He pulled his own shirt and jeans back on while I re-dressed, shamelessly watching me as I did so.

"Bella, there isn't going to be any regret here right? I don't want you to freak out later, this was special to me, I hope you know that," he said gently as he gazed deeply into my eyes.

"No, Cullen, no regrets, we're good," I said softly, reaching up to smooth the hair back from his forehead.

He closed his eyes briefly at my touch, and then leaned down and kissed me softly, pulling me close for a hug. "This is going to all work out, you'll see... I.. I'll make sure of it," he trailed off sincerely, it seemed as though he wanted to say something else to me but held back.

I could only hope he was right about it all working out, because I was in so deep now that there was no turning back.

* * *

A/N~

Wanted to let you know, there is probably only one regular chapter left and then the epilogue. Next chapter may be late, I want perfection...

Also, a fic rec for you. Seated in the Sky by Lovelybrutal

www . fanfiction . net/s/6822317/1/

Only two chapters in, but damn, just damn.


	21. Chapter 21

Thanks to my fabulous betas, GrayMatters and PixieKat7 for all their hard work and for putting up with my paranoia.

Any and all mistakes you find will be mine.

Fuck count: 19

Thanks to Nikita2009 for being such an awesome pre reader and cheerleader.

Special thanks to Katinki for pre-reading and for talking me off the ledge time after time when I freak out. I appreciate you and your help/friendship more than you'll ever know.

These four people are amazing and I couldn't do this without them!

Apparently I've been nominated for some Sunflower Awards, I'm humbled and honored so thanks to anyone who voted or nominated me.

Two chapters left after this one.

**Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight related characters you see below. The words are mine.**

* * *

**Chapter 20**

The next month went by in a blur. Cullen and I managed to steal a few more make out sessions in between me working massive amounts of overtime and him going out of town for stories to follow for the newspaper. I had to admit I was getting sexually frustrated. Cullen kept telling me he wanted our first time to be perfect, which made me smile, but still...I needed to get laid.

We spent a lot of time just talking and becoming more comfortable with each other. He really was an incredible guy. His sense of family, his work ethic, the way he loved Robby so unconditionally as if he'd always been his baby, all of it. I thought about all the time I'd wasted being a fucking bitch and it made me so sad sometimes. But Cullen had a different view. He said it just made us appreciate each other more now.

I told him more of my history with Jake, how crushed I'd been to know I'd been duped. He could relate and everything about it seemed so meaningless now. I wondered why I ever stressed out about my past and sadly, how I'd let it control my future.

Another reason Cullen wanted to wait was so that he could get tested before we had sex. Even though he never went unprotected with Tanya or anyone else, he wanted to show me he was clean. I appreciated that a lot. I will say, it was odd that two people our ages waited to have sex at all, especially living in the same house, but we had both agreed not to rush into it. After a month of what was basically extended foreplay, I can honestly say I wanted to fuck him until the cows came home, and I was pretty sure the feeling was mutual.

Robby was growing so fast, he had started saying new words since the "Beh" for Bella that had come out of his mouth. He was now saying "Cuh" for Cullen, which made that asshat grin like he was the king of the world. It was absolutely adorable.

He was also sitting up all on his own, crawling and making attempts to pull himself up on things. He was early for that but it wasn't unheard of, according to Carlisle. He also had eight pearly white teeth that he loved to show you when you were feeding him.

Spitting food was his new favorite thing to do. Cullen and I seriously needed hazmat suits to feed the kid at this point. He made us laugh though, and filled our hearts with joy when we looked at him since he was such a gorgeous mix of both Angela and Ben. He was gonna be a looker for sure, we'd be beating the chicks off him with a stick when he got older.

Cullen was returning home tonight after being out of town for work for the week. Alice and Jasper had invited the family for dinner and we were going to be there. They had an announcement, I was pretty certain I knew what it was. Based on Alice's appearance this week in the mornings when I dropped Robby off, she seemed a little green around the gills, I was betting they were pregnant. I was so excited for them I could hardly stand it.

I picked Robby up early and headed home to get ready. It had turned out to be a beautiful May day and I wanted to be able to enjoy some of it. Alice said to dress casually since the weather was good we were going to barbecue.

Noticing Cullen's car in the driveway, I told Robby he was home. "Robby, guess what buddy? Guess who's home? Cullen is home, Robby, you wanna go see him, baby?" I sweetly cooed to him.

Robby squealed and kicked in the car seat as I reached in to get him out.

All the sudden I felt hands grip me around the waist.

"Bella, you're home, I've missed you guys," Cullen said against my ear, his breath warm and smelling of peppermint.

"Hey you, yeah, we're home, we missed you too" I said, turning around with an excited Robby in my arms.

Cullen leaned forward and lightly brushed his lips against mine then backed away and looked deeply into my eyes with a loving smile on his face. He looked scrumptious, good enough to lick. His hair had lightened a bit in the sun and it appeared he'd gotten a little tan as well. The sage green t-shirt and tight dark indigo jeans he wore made him look even hotter than I thought possible. He stood there a few moments staring back at me with a big smile before looking down towards Robby who was facing him in my arms.

"Robster! How are ya, buddy? Did you take good care of our Bella for me? Huh, did ya?" he said to Robby sweetly, grabbing his little leg and giving it a shake as he spoke.

Robby cooed and squealed getting all excited, trying to bust out of my arms to get to Cullen.

Grabbing him from me, I watched adoringly as Robby snuggled into Cullen's neck for cuddles, tucking his hands under himself and rooting in on his chest. It was adorable as hell watching these two together, clearly they loved each other beyond words.

"Aww, Robby, I love you too buddy, I missed you," Cullen said softly, giving Robby a big hug while pursing his lips and kissing his little head gently. My God, how could one man and a baby be this fuckhot?

Looking up at me, his eye brow quirked, he said kindly, "So, what do we need to do to get ready to go to dinner? I'm ready, I've got some dinner ready for Robby, you wanna go shower or change or something?"

"I'd love a quick shower, if you don't mind feeding Robby?" I answered appreciatively as we made our way inside the house.

"Not a problem, go shower and we'll be ready to go when you're done," he said, leaning in towards me for another light kiss. He must have really missed us.

After a quick shower, I grabbed my new Seven jeans and put them on. It was a splurge of epic fucking proportions, but what could I say, they made my ass look amazing! I put on my teal peasant top and some black flip flops to complete the outfit. I left my hair to dry naturally, allowing my curls to do what they wanted, I added some light blush, mascara and a sheer pink lip gloss to complete my look. All in all I only took about thirty minutes to get ready, not bad for a chick, if I did say so myself.

I came down the stairs and found Cullen and Robby ready to go in the kitchen. Cullen gave me another huge smile when he saw me, nodding and then saying sweetly, "You are a sight for sore eyes, Bella. You look very pretty this evening. You ready to go?"

"Yeah, let's blow this joint, are you boys ready?" I asked them both, as I blushed at the compliment, grabbing Robby's foot and giving it a light squeeze as he cooed and smiled at me.

The drive to Alice and Jasper's didn't take long, they didn't live too far from us. Cullen and I spent the time in the car tossing around our thoughts about how adorable Alice was going to look as a pregnant woman, if my theory about her looking green this week was right and indeed she _was_ pregnant.

Finally arriving, we pulled into the driveway of their home. We walked up the flower covered walkway to the front door. Before we could knock, the door was opened with a flourish and Jasper rushed out to grab Robby from my arms.

"Robby, buddy! You're here! How nice of you to bring silly Bella and silly Edward along," he cooed excitedly to Robby, holding him close to his chest in a soft hug.

Everyone in Cullen's family adored Robby, it was so wonderful to witness.

Jasper looked out at us with a crooked smirk, one eyebrow raised and made a huge gesturing wave of his hand, indicating we should come into the house. Cullen smiled and grabbed my hand tightly as he pulled me inside.

Everyone else was already there, smiling broadly at us as we entered the spacious kitchen. There were murmured hellos and kisses on cheeks from Esme and Carlisle, waves from Emmett and Rose and finally Alice grinning madly at the two of us as we stood there hand-in-hand.

"Hey you guys, glad you could come. Jasper was about to throw the burgers on. You want a margarita?" Alice said brightly.

"I'm driving, so none for me," said Cullen.

"That sounds great, I'll have one," I answered.

Jasper handed me my margarita. He'd lost Robby upon his entry to the kitchen. Rose had grabbed him and she and Emmett were playing with him, making him squeal in delight. Emmett was tickling him and his sweet giggles were making us all smile.

"Emmett, don't tickle him too hard, I've heard that when you do that it affects babies somehow, like it causes them to stutter later in life or something," Cullen said worriedly, looking at Emmett imploringly to stop tickling Robby.

"Edward, son, I think that's an old wive's tale, there has been some evidence that tickling too hard can cause children to experience pain and the baby would cry. I don't think Emmett is tickling Robby in a way that he doesn't enjoy. So, tickling is okay as long as it doesn't seem to be causing discomfort," Carlisle offered, trying to calm Cullen's nerves a bit.

"See, Edward, I'm not hurting my little buddy, he loves it, he and I are cool," Emmett said firmly, giving Cullen a surly look.

"Well, excuse me Em, I just remember how you picked on Alice and I when we were kids, tickling us mercilessly," Cullen said sarcastically, rolling his eyes at Emmett.

"Yeah? So? You don't stutter do ya? Oh and you seem relatively normal, although that might be up for discussion," Emmett offered humorously, his eyes alight with glee as he dissed his little brother.

Esme laughed loudly, looking over at me as she said, "See what I dealt with, Bella, these three always trying to one up each other? Emmett, be a good son now and stop tickling Robby, since it is obviously making Edward nervous and stressed."

"Oh yeah, we don't want my little brother nervous and stressed, do we now?" Emmett teased, rolling his eyes as he laughed heartily at Cullen. Rose took Robby out of Emmett's arms and cuddled him close to her.

Robby only had eyes for Emmett though, reaching back over toward him trying to get Emmett to take him back from Rose.

"See! He liked it! He wants me," Emmett said excitedly as he took Robby back from Rose.

Robby kicked his little feet, looking up at Emmett adoringly, smiling and cooing.

"Robby, can you say 'Em'?" Emmett coached him. "Say Em, come on little man, you can do it, say Em," he kept pleading.

"Eh," Robby said.

The room exploded with laughter and clapping and Robby was giggling and bouncing, obviously enjoying the attention.

"Crap Emmett, only you could get a baby to say your name on demand," Alice said jealously, her hands on her hips.

We all laughed and Cullen chose that time to say excitedly, while rubbing his hands together in anticipation, "So, Alice, what's the big news?" The look on his face was one of adoration, he loved his little sister.

"Oh man, Edward, leave to you, Mr. Impatient," Alice admonished as Jasper made his way over to stand at her side, gripping her hand tightly in his.

"Well, we asked you all here tonight for dinner so you could help us celebrate. Jasper and I are going to have a baby!" Alice gushed excitedly as tears of joy filled her and Jasper's eyes.

The room exploded in applause, well wishes and more tears.

I looked over at Carlisle and Esme, both had tears in their eyes, hugging Jasper and Alice to them fiercely.

"Oh, Alice, Jasper, I'm so excited, a second grandchild!" Esme said emotionally, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye.

Wait a minute? A second grandchild? Did I miss something?

I glanced up at Cullen, with a look of question on my face. He smiled down at me and shrugged his shoulders sheepishly. I still didn't get it.

"Damn, l'il sis, now Rose and I better really get a move on! First Edward and Bella bring Robby into the family and now you and Jasper... man no pressure or anything!" Emmett joked as he patted Jasper on the back and pulled Alice into a big hug. Rosalie waited her turn and as she grinned wildly she pushed Emmett out of the way and moved in to hug Alice and kiss Jasper on his cheek.

Oh my God! Seriously, Robby? If I'd ever had a doubt about Cullen and his family, it was gone forever now.

"Oh, Alice, Jasper, congratulations you two, I feel so blessed tonight. I've got Robby and now you two will add to our family and I have witnesses to the fact that Emmett and Rose will try to add to my blessings as well. Now if I could just get a "Grandpa" out of Robby, my night would be capped," Carlisle said sincerely, his eyes brimming with tears of joy.

Esme made her way over to Robby, picking him up and squeezing him to her chest. As she kissed the top of his head she said sweetly, "Oh Robby, aren't you excited baby? You're gonna have a new little cousin to play with soon!"

I glanced a look back up at Cullen. He had a single tear rolling down his cheek and a soft wistful smile on his lips as he made his way over to his sister.

"Congrats, Al, I love you. You're gonna make the best Mommy, you know that right?" he mock whispered in her ear as he hugged her tightly against his chest.

Gazing up adoringly at her big brother with the most beautiful smile on her face, Alice said softly, "Thanks big bro, that means a lot to me, I can only hope we'll do as well with our baby as you and Bella are doing with Robby."

And cue the tears. I was a blubbering mess. I hadn't noticed Jasper make his way toward me and when he pulled me over next to him and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, I really lost it.

In the comfort of Jasper's embrace I thought to myself, _how did I end up here, me of all people?_ I had been so cynical, so jaded and untrusting. These people were literally my salvation in life. I never knew this kind of love. I mean yeah, my Dad and I had been close, Ang and Ben were like family too, but this, this was different. It was just so overwhelming, so perfect. Robby and I couldn't have landed in the middle of a better situation. I sighed quietly realizing that Angela and Ben knew exactly what they were doing.

Cullen glanced over at me with a bright smile on his face and gave me a wink. I was still crying, but clearly, they weren't sad tears. They were tears of joy for my new family. Yep, I said _**family**_. I finally realized that for all my cowardly responses and fucked up attitude, in the end it didn't matter. It didn't matter because even if I wasn't ready to accept them, they had already accepted me.

This was amazing, the realization of the fact that I was full. For the first time in my life I felt like I was full. Full of life, love and promise. Full of dreams, goals and happiness. I missed my parents and my best friends, but I knew without a doubt, those sad times were behind me. I could let go of the sorrow and I only needed to concentrate on going forward in joy.

I also realized, rather astoundingly, that I was in love. I loved Cullen. I loved his family and I loved our life with Robby. Now all I needed to do was figure out how to handle it all without fucking freaking myself out.

Releasing Alice, Cullen made his way back over to me, pulling me to his side as Jasper let go of me. He wiped my tears away with his thumbs as he smiled gently at me. I returned his smile with a shaky one of my own. He grabbed my hand, gripping it tightly as he pulled me closer to his side.

Esme and Carlisle, still holding Robby, raised their glasses and Carlisle made a toast, his voice full of joyful emotion, "To family, may we always be this fortunate and happy, cheers!"

"Cheers!" we all said loudly.

The rest of the evening was spent teasing, congratulating and teasing some more. Discussions of labor pains, hole/head sizes (thank you Emmett!) and finally the coup de grace, Robby saying "Papa" for Carlisle after much coaxing.

It was really a perfect night.

As we drove back home, I couldn't help but sigh. Cullen glanced over at me, smiling at me and said, "What? Why the sigh, Bella?"

"Shit, Cullen, can you believe Emmett of all people, felt compelled to tell poor Alice that even though ten centimeters sounds like a lot, it is really only like four inches? I mean come on, who does that?" I said, shaking my head and laughing softly as to not wake Robby up in the back seat.

"Only my big brother, that's who. Emmett has always been and will always be a cesspool of information. Some useful and some not, obviously," he drawled sarcastically.

"I know, but damn, poor Alice. How daunting that must feel, ya know?"

"Well, women have done it forever, the having babies thing, thank God. I know that no man would ever volunteer!" he said, laughing lightly as well.

"Do you think you'd ever want to have another baby, Bella," he said softly, after clearing his throat. I saw him glancing at me out of the corner of his eye to see my answer as he swallowed nervously.

Swallowing my own nerves, I considered my answer carefully.

"I've considered it, Robby should probably have a brother or a sister. I never had that, seeing you with your family makes me wish I had," I answered truthfully, shrugging my shoulders.

"How about you, did you ever think about having kids?" I asked, intrigued at what his answer might be.

"Hmm... well of course I didn't think about it much when I was young but when I was seriously thinking I was going to marry the supposed love of my life, I felt like I wanted to have a big family," he said sadly. I could see a small frown on his face, his features muted by the dark of the car. From the way his voice sounded, I could tell he was melancholy.

"I thought I'd at least have three kids. Being the middle of three myself, I knew how wonderful brothers and sisters could be. Do you think you want a lot of kids, Bella?" he said to me, turning to give me a quick look to see my expression.

"Well, honestly? I never really thought of a number, I just thought I'd always have more than one. I think you have to be responsible and if you truly can't afford them or aren't able to properly care for them then you obviously shouldn't have them," I said seriously.

Cullen laughed at me and then said teasingly, "Oh, Bella, you're so conscientious! You over think everything don't you?"

I started to giggle thinking about my answer as I reached over and gave his arm a swat for teasing me. What a brat.

He laughed and grabbed my hand in his bringing it up to his lips to kiss my fingers.

Shortly after, we arrived home. He got Robby out of the car and took him up to his room and put him down for the night.

I stayed in the kitchen, putting the leftover food from Robby's diaper bag away and picking things up.

Cullen came into the kitchen and pulled me close to him for a hug.

"I missed you so much, Bella. I thought about you every minute I was away," he said softly, running his nose up the side of my neck.

I may or may not have whimpered aloud at his touch on my neck; fuck, he missed me, I missed him.

He made his way up my neck onto my face, his lips leaving a sizzling trail as he continued on to find my lips.

Our lips made contact, his warm wet ones finding mine, the intensity of the kiss growing as the passion was oozing out of us in waves. I gripped the back of his head, pulling his hair a bit as I pulled him to my mouth like a starving woman.

He possessed my mouth, his tongue seeking refuge and his teeth nibbling my lips seductively. He was rubbing his hands up and down my back, stopping along the top of my ass, gripping my hips and pulling me closer.

I could feel his hardness against my pubic bone as he rubbed against me, moaning into my mouth as he did.

Standing in the middle of the kitchen making out was not the way I wanted this

evening to end.

"Um..." _kiss, kiss, lick_, "Cullen, can we..." _kiss, kiss,_ "Get.. err I mean go... yeah go..." _kiss, lick, kiss,_ "Take this somewhere more comfortable?" I sputtered out between our passionate kisses.

"Bella, please, I need to show you what you mean to me," he ground out, his voice full of longing. Poor guy was going to have a massive fucking case of blue balls if we weren't careful.

"Yes, Cullen, God yes! I want you...now..." I said breathlessly.

Pulling away from me, he stared down into my eyes, his face alight with happiness and desire. Grabbing my hand he pulled me out of the kitchen quickly and up the stairs, pausing at my door.

"Your room or mine," he asked sexily, his face containing a taunting smirk that held promise of sexy times to come.

"Mine. It's closer, and I've got the baby monitor" I answered firmly as I pulled him inside the bedroom and shut the door softly behind me.

I turned around to face him, smiling softly as I started to remove my clothes, backing towards my bed.

I pulled my top over my head. I was wearing my teal lace bra so when I removed the shirt and stood before him in only the bra with my jeans, I heard Cullen inhale quickly.

"My God, Bella, I've wanted you for so long, Jesus you're so fucking beautiful," he said to me, as if he were worshiping the sight before him.

I knew I was ready for this step, I had no qualms about standing in front of him and continuing to strip out of my clothes, I wasn't nervous in the least. I unbuttoned my jeans, Cullen still standing with his back to the door watching me as I slowly shimmied them down my legs. I watched him as he licked his lips eagerly and started to un-do the snap on his jeans after whipping his t-shirt quickly off his body and throwing it to the floor. Wow, excited much? I loved seeing him ready to go, it was all coming together the way it was supposed to.

He stalked toward me like a predator. With his jeans now removed I could see the massive erection he was sporting through the front of his boxers. Jesus, I couldn't fucking wait.

Stopping in front of me, he moved his fingers lightly down my chest, following the rim of my bra while teasing my nipples over the top of the cups.

"Bella, I want to show you what you do to me, give me your hand," he whispered seductively, licking his lips with his wet, pink tongue.

Looking down as he reached forward slightly, I put my hand in his.

He flattened my palm against the front of his boxers, his cock was hard and firm, twitching in anticipation and when I rubbed against it, he moaned throatily in my ear.

"Unf...fuck, do you feel that? You make me hard as a rock, my cock wants inside your pussy so badly, we've waited long enough. I want you Bella, I want to make you scream my name in my ear when you cum," he groaned out. Wow, Cullen was such a dirty talker.

I rubbed my hand against him, enjoying the way he moaned and groaned in response.

Our breaths were coming out as pants as we attacked each other's lips with longing.

He had one hand on my breast, rubbing and squeezing it roughly, but not so rough that it didn't feel good, it felt amazing. His other hand was gripping my ass so tightly, pushing me against him while he rubbed himself between my hand and my pelvis for friction.

I pulled him toward the bed, laying down I continued to pull him to me until he was laying on top of me. He licked my neck, moving down my chest to my breasts.

"Take the bra off, Bella," he said firmly. Oooh he was being bossy and that was so fucking sexy.

He moved over so I could lift up and remove my bra. Then Cullen reached into my wet panties, his finger grazing my clit and pulled them down.

"Cullen, ahhh... you... make me so fucking horny..." I moaned out breathily, my hips moving up and down, simulating the motion I desperately wanted our bodies to make together.

"You are horny aren't you? Jesus Christ, you're so fucking wet for me, Bella," he groaned as his fingers touched my soaked pussy.

He gently pushed two fingers inside me, curving them upward as he moved them in and out of me, causing me to moan and groan even louder.

"Uhh...oh my God, Cullen, please. Please..." I said in a whispered prayer.

"Please what? You have to tell me what you want Bella," he answered seductively, his voice thick with need.

Looking into his hooded lust filled eyes, I said very firmly, "I want you to fuck me. Fuck me now, Cullen!"

That was all the invitation he needed as he rolled over, stood up, pulled his boxers off and grabbed the condom from his jeans to put it on.

Turning back, towering over me, he said softly, his eyebrow raised in question, "You ready? I'm about to make you mine."

My lip between my teeth, I could only nod, not trusting myself to speak at this point. I didn't want to tell him I loved him when we were about to have sex, I wanted those words to be special on their own, not connected to a moment of lust-induced verbal vomit.

Coming over to me, he spread my legs open and crawled up between them, kissing his way up my torso.

When he got up to my neck, he leaned into my ear and said gently, "You're mine now Bella, all mine. I lo...oh that, that feels like heaven."

Then he pushed inside me, filling me completely. I could feel his cock, stretching me and filling me up. He started moving then, slowly, methodically.

I matched his strokes with my own, his face contorted with passion, mirroring my own I was sure.

I ran my hands up and down his body, squeezing his ass and rubbing myself against his pelvis.

He turned over quickly, pulling me on top of him. We continued pumping against each other.

He gazed up at me and with a smirk removed one of his hands from my thighs.

Bringing it to his mouth, he brought his tongue out and licked his thumb then brought it forward to rub my clit.

Holy fucking hell, that was sexy!

I moaned loudly as I rode him harder, him thumb continuing to rub along my clit.

Leaning forward a bit more, my breasts hovering over his chest, tickling against him lightly. I twisted my hips in a circular motion, getting a different angle of penetration.

Cullen moaned, his face scrunched up in pleasure.

"Oh my God, shit...that feels amazing..." he ground out between clenched teeth.

His hands now gripping my thighs harder as he met me, thrust to thrust.

I sat up again and started grinding against his hips faster and harder. I was moaning and humming loudly, so turned on by the moment. I felt my insides getting tighter, my thrusting more erratic as my orgasm loomed near.

"Oh... oh my God, Cullen... I'm gonna... I'm gonna..." I sang out.

Suddenly he started rubbing the soles of my feet, almost a tickle but a bit harder. I could feel it as though it were a direct line to my pussy.

My orgasm overtook me then, it was so powerful, so fucking awesome!

"Yes, yes... oh my God, Cullen, yesssss..." I moaned, throwing my head back as I came hard around him.

Then he was there too, his thrusting getting faster, his breathing more erratic, his moans louder. "Fuck, Bella, oh hell...yes..." he groaned, his mouth open in an 'O' shape as he came with a loud grunt.

We stayed tangled up in each other a few minutes, pulling ourselves together, trying to catch our breath and get our heart rates back down to a normal rhythm.

"Ungg...holy shit, that was awesome," he growled, as he pulled me down to his lips and kissed me hard.

"It was wasn't it?" I agreed whole heartedly, as I rolled off of him to lay down beside him, running my fingers lightly over his abs.

Kissing the side of my head, he pulled me closer to him, giving me a tight hug.

"I was right, you and I were meant to be together," he said lovingly, his face aglow with delight.

I gave him a big smile, nodding my head in agreement.

He stood up then to remove the condom and dispose of it in the bathroom. I missed his warmth immediately.

As he came back into the room, he paused in the door way and said firmly, one eyebrow quirked, as if daring me to say no, "Don't even think we aren't sleeping in the same room from now on. Now that I've had you, I don't want to be without you, I hope you know that."

I giggled and said "Uh, sure, whatever you say Mr. Bossy. Wow, you get your way one time and look what happens...you get all bossy and demanding, start marking your territory..."

He growled at me then ran toward me, jumping onto the bed like a ten-year old.

"Bella, tell me you agree, tell me, tell me," he teased as he tried valiantly to tickle the un-ticklish.

Laughing hard, I answered him with a huge smile on my face, "Of course I agree, I wouldn't have it any other way."

He leaned down, kissed me softly and said, "Perfect. Good night, Bella, have wonderful dreams."

Then we cuddled under the covers and for once in my life I didn't lay there and over-analyze anything. I did wonder though, when the right time to tell him I loved him was, I also wondered when he'd tell me. I was going to have to make a plan to make it extra special for him. Maybe for his birthday?

I smiled at the thought, then I just relaxed and replayed in my mind the specialness of the moments we'd had earlier as I fell into a peaceful slumber with Cullen beside me—right where he belonged.

* * *

**A/N:** For those of you who may not know, ten centimeters is a measurement used for when it is time to push a baby out of your body during labor. I believe they say ten centimeters because it sounds so much more plausible to a woman than the thought of pushing out a thirteen inch head, not to mention shoulders, through a four inch opening. Yeah, think stretching, yeah. (I've done it twice, it can be done) LOL

Oh and the tickle thing on the feet? Yeah try it, it's fucking awesome!


	22. Chapter 22

Thanks to my fabulous betas, GrayMatters and PixieKat7 for all their hard work.

Any and all mistakes you find will be mine.

Thanks to Nikita2009 for being such an awesome pre-reader and cheerleader.  
Please consider reading what she writes, you won't be sorry.

Special thanks to Katinki for pre-reading and making small suggestions.

I appreciate your help/friendship more than you'll ever know.

Read her stories, she is phenomenal.

These four people are amazing and I couldn't do this without them!

I've been nominated for some Sunflower Awards, I'm truly humbled and honored.

Thanks to anyone who voted or nominated me.

Epilogue should be posted by Monday.

**Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight related characters you see below. The words are mine.**

* * *

**Chapter 21 **

Feeling heat against my side, I jerked awake, forgetting for a moment that Cullen was sleeping next to me. I looked over at him, not wanting to wake him up but wanting to check him out.

He lay there, his face smooth with the innocence of sleep, his red lips pursed and slightly open as his breaths came out steadily. Not a snore but definitely sleeping soundly. His whiskers created a shadow along that lickable jaw line that made me feel little spasms of want throughout my body. I could see his long dark eyelashes resting against his skin, like a feather along his eyelids. All in all, he looked pretty fucking perfect laying there next to me. I could think of far worse ways to wake up.

Reflecting back on last night, I lay there with a stupid ass grin on my face. I was in love. Totally completely in love with a guy who treated me like a queen, loved our best friends' son as if he were our own and had a family that shared the same sentiments.

I'm was pretty damn sure I was the luckiest woman on the planet.

I took a deep satisfied breath and gave my head a small shake. The movement must've been more jarring than I thought because Cullen started to stir.

He nuzzled into my side closer and ran his nose along my neck.

"Morning, Bella...mmm, did you sleep well?" he said in a lazy, soft, sleepy voice next to my ear.

"Mmm hmm, I did, how about you?" I asked him gently as I turned my head toward his.

"Best. Sleep. Ever." he replied, his voice still whisper soft.

"Is Robby already awake, want me to get him for you?" he added.

"Nah, he's not awake yet, but I think I'll get up and make some coffee," I said as I started to peel the covers back.

"No, Bella, stay in bed for a few more minutes, let's cuddle okay?" he said with a slight whine as he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me back into the bed toward him.

Giggling, I said, "Oh okay, you twisted my arm. I mean come on, like there's even a choice. Who wouldn't pick staying in a warm bed with a handsome man and cuddling over getting up in a chilly house and making coffee?"

"Precisely, glad to see that you can see it my way, the first of many times I will be convincing you to stay in bed I hope," he said with a sexy growl.

Rubbing his nose along my neck and onto my jaw he started to pepper my chin with soft kisses. I found myself becoming aroused again. All he had to do was kiss me and I wanted him. Jesus, this could be problematic if I couldn't get a handle on my lust.

Moaning I grabbed a hold of his head and pulled him up to my lips, kissing him passionately, enjoying the feel of his plump lips on mine and his tongue as it snaked in and out of my mouth, teasing along the rim of my lip. Almost tickling but not quite.

Pulling back from my lips, he looked down at me, his sea green eyes blazing into mine with love and lust.

"I want you, Bella, right now," he said as he moved his hand down to rub against the outside of my panties.

I nodded as I put my hands though his hair and pulled his head back down for more kisses.

He pulled my panties off, then slid his hand up inside my sleep shirt to gain access to my breasts. I moaned loudly at the feel of his warm hand as it cupped my breast and started kneading it, pinching my nipple gently as he did.

Reaching down under the covers along his firm ass, I found the waistband of his boxers and started to pull them down, unfortunately I ended up needing his help with the final removal. His legs were long! But, he helped me take care of it with a smirk on his face.

Rolling away from me, he reached over to grab a condom, slipping it on quickly and then rolling back over to lay himself between my legs.

Gazing down at me he smiled a wicked, sexy smile and said, "I'm going to make love to you Bella. It's going to be sweet and it's going to be tender, you'll have no doubt about how special you are..."

As he finished his sentence he started to slowly push himself inside me. Jesus, that feeling of him filling me was indescribable. His movements were slow and sure, filling me and then pulling back out, his movements unhurried. I gasped as he did it a few times. Slowly, oh so slowly, it was almost torture. He was right, it was sweet and tender. He was kissing my neck, my ear, my chin, my lips, causing me to whimper with desire.

I kept running my hands up and down his back, scraping my nails against his skin gently, yet firmly.

"Oh, God, please..." I said with a loud moan, grabbing his ass to bring him closer to me.

"Please what, Bella? You need to tell me what you want. Do you want me to go faster? Or do you like slower?" he said to me lustily, his voice thick with desire.

"Unff.. faster.. no slower, yeah slower but oh God, I... I... you feel so good," I answered wantonly.

He continued to slowly pump in and out of my wet pussy, hitting my clit in just the right way. Our breathing was labored, I was moaning and he was groaning as he proceeded to pick up his pace. Pushing himself in and pulling himself out quicker than before.

In and out, stopping to rub my clit with the tip of his cock and then back in. Jesus, I was coming undone.

"I'm, I'm, I'm gonna cum, Bella, unf," he said as he started to release with a loud grunt, his hips going faster, pushing in and out of me with such delicious abandon.

I was meeting him thrust for thrust, feeling my insides tighten as I started to climax as well.

"Oh, my God, Cullen, yes..." I purred.

I could feel my pussy clench around his cock, contracting against him as I came hard.

We lay there, him on top of me, breathing hard into my ear for a few moments.

He rolled to his side and took his hand, running it along my tummy lightly.

"Bella, that was, well that was mind blowing," he said reverently, looking into my eyes warmly.

"It really was heavenly, wasn't it?" I whispered, my own eyes wide with wonder, this gorgeous man was making me feel all kinds of things I never thought I'd ever get to feel.

Leaning down toward me he kissed my lips softly, taking his thumb and putting it on my chin.

"You're absolutely beautiful, I'm so blessed to have you," he said smiling gently.

"I'm the one who's blessed, Cullen. I've got you and I've got your family, how lucky can one girl be?" I answered, as I gazed into his eyes, feeling my own fill lightly with tears.

"What's this? No tears, sweet girl, why are you crying?" he asked, concerned, his eyebrows quirked in question.

"I just... I'm just feeling so lucky all the sudden ya know? I mean, who would've thought, you and me together... it just didn't ever seem possible," I said through my tears of joy.

"I'll tell you who knew, Angela and Ben knew, that's who," he answered swiftly, using his thumb to wipe away the track of my tears.

"They did, didn't they?" I said softly, smiling up at him.

"Beh! BEH!" Robby's voice squeaked out of the baby monitor.

Cullen and I looked at each other and laughed loudly.

"Well, it appears you are being summoned, Bella," Cullen said sarcastically, his lips drawn up into a sardonic grin.

"Cuh..Cuh? CUH!" the monitor squawked again.

"Hmm... it appears he changed his mind, Cullen, get a move on, your child has spoken," I replied wickedly, one eyebrow quirked.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm on it woman. Go make man coffee and child cereal," he groaned as he peeled himself away from me and out of bed, grabbing his boxers and throwing them on after disposing of the used condom.

"Are you suddenly a cave man, Cullen? Woman, man, child? Really?" I asked him, my brows raised and my eyes wide.

He laughed loudly, turning towards me and saying sweetly, "Nah, I just wanted to make you smile again, you're so beautiful when you smile. I'll get Robby after I go get some sleep pants and a t-shirt, if you want to do the coffee and stuff."

I smiled widely and answered quickly, "Of course I will, and, Cullen, thanks for being so special."

"Ah... flattery will get you everywhere, Bella," he said sweetly as he walked over to me and kissed the side of my head.

I watched him walk out and head down to Robby's room as I grabbed my panties and my robe to make my way downstairs.

I heard him go into the baby's room and I heard Robby's excited squeals at seeing him.

"Hey, Robster, good morning buddy! Your timing is impeccable, thanks for waiting until I was done having my fun with Bella, buddy. You're such a good boy, aren't you?" he said to a delighted Robby.

I smiled and shook my head as I headed downstairs to make the coffee.

After we'd had coffee and breakfast Cullen asked if Robby and I were game for a trip to the Woodland Park Zoo. My God, a sunny Saturday at the zoo with my two favorite guys? Yeah, like I fucking needed to think about that for longer than two seconds. Of course I was game.

We headed to the zoo, parking and getting all the essentials for an almost seven-month old baby out of the car.

After putting Robby into his stroller, sun screening him up, complete with beach hat and sunglasses, we headed into the zoo.

As we walked through it, we took Robby to each section and tried to show him all the animals. Finally Cullen couldn't take it anymore and pulled Robby out of the stroller and held him to point out all the things he was too short to see. Robby seemed to have a special affinity to the elephants and monkeys. Getting himself all worked up and trying to lean over into the corral the elephants were in. One of the larger elephants made her way toward us, clearly curious about Robby. The closer she came, the more still Robby became until finally the elephant was standing about three feet away. Everyone around us was amazed at the way the elephant and Robby were staring into each other's eyes. It was like love at first sight. Suddenly the elephant's trunk started to lift, snaking towards us slowly.

"Cullen! Do you think it wants to touch Robby?" I asked worriedly.

"Yeah, for some reason it does, don't worry, it won't hurt him," Cullen said softly as to not scare the elephant.

It moved ever so slowly as Robby stared at it with wide-eyed wonder. Finally Robby leaned forward slightly in Cullen's arms to touch it's trunk. The elephant made soft contact with Robby's hand as he giggled sweetly at its touch. I was thrilled that I had the foresight to grab my camera and fire off a bunch of pictures before it walked away.

We stood there for about ten minutes, Cullen and I both wearing humongous smiles on our faces while Robby and the elephant had their moment.

The crowd around us oohed and ahhed over it and snapped photos of their own. It really was an amazing sight to see.

Finally, the elephant dropped its trunk and turned slowly to walk away. The farther away it got, the more agitated Robby got, finally bursting into tears as he realized it was not coming back.

He leaned away from Cullen, wanting me to take him in my arms. I cuddled him close to me, whispering soft words of love into his ear while Cullen rubbed the back of his head and told him it was all going to be okay.

As we stood there I saw an older couple watching us closely, I thought maybe they were going to admonish us for letting the elephant touch Robby, but instead, they surprised us by walking over and the woman saying sweetly, "You have such a lovely family, your son looks like a beautiful blend of you both. That was an adorable sight to behold."

Cullen and I smiled softly to each other and he told the nice woman thank you. We didn't bother to correct her because we _were_a family after all and she was right, it was all kinds of fucking adorable.

After another hour of wandering around the zoo, Robby started to get fussy so we decided to head back to the house. It had been a fun time and all of the fresh air caused Robby to conk out in the car on the way home.

"So I was thinking maybe we could have some steak for dinner tonight, Bella." Cullen asked me.

"Yeah, that sounds great, how about I make some baked potatoes as well and I've been wanting to try a new cake recipe I found online too, if you'd like..." I answered.

"Cake? You never need to ask if cake sounds good, Bella, I love cake... and pie… and cookies and pudding and... well you get my drift I'm sure!" he said with a chuckle.

I smiled over at him as we pulled into the driveway.

He got Robby out of the car and went up to put him in his room for his nap as I unloaded everything else and got all the ingredients down for the cake.

Returning downstairs to the kitchen he pulled up a stool and asked if he could watch me and talk to me while I did it.

"Of course you can, I'd love the company," I exclaimed brightly. Duh, like as if I'd refuse a good looking guy chatting with me while I baked.

As I combined all the ingredients, Cullen and I chatted about our childhoods, I learned he and Alice were always really close since Emmett always teased them mercilessly. I didn't find that too hard to believe, he was such a joker.

Cullen stood up to get some water out of the fridge, glancing over he asked me if I wanted any. I shook my head no, turning back to the cake as I stopped the mixer to get the batter off the sides of the bowl.

I didn't hear him sneak up behind me, but suddenly, he swiped his finger in the bowl.

I looked up quickly, ready to chide him for putting his fingers into my cake batter when he suddenly laughed like a loon and rubbed his finger down the side of my face, lifting it off at the last second to put the remaining batter in his mouth.

"Mmm... that's good Bella, really good, you really oughta try it," he said with a sexy smirk, his beautiful eyes sparkling with mischief as he sucked the batter off of his finger seductively.

Looking at him, I smiled broadly and asked sarcastically, "You like it huh? Well try some more then," as I took the spatula and wiped it over his mouth.

He stood there in shock for a second and then tilted his head sideways, with a look of revenge in his eyes as he said playfully, "Oh, you really shouldn't have done that. You're a very bad girl, I think you need to be punished."

He grabbed the spatula from me suddenly, dipped it into the batter and started toward me. I'd backed up a bit and when he came toward me I gave a little squeak and a giggle and took off running.

"No! No, please Cullen, no! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I know I'm bad, please, please forgive me," I squealed and laughed as he chased me around the island in the kitchen with the damn spatula, cake batter dripping everywhere.

"We can do this the easy way, or the hard way, you decide Bella. One way or another, you're tasting this batter," he said provocatively, eyebrow raised, licking his lips to get the remaining batter in his mouth. God in heaven, that tongue. I may or may not have moaned involuntarily at the sight of it.

"I'm scared, Cullen, you're going to get it all over me, I just know it. Promise you'll be nice and I'll let you give me a taste," I tried valiantly to barter my way through this situation I in which I clearly had no control.

That little shit just laughed and continued to chase me around the island.

"I'm gonna catch you Bella, and when I do..." he trailed off with a chuckle.

"You'll need to catch me first, you tool!" I laughed in response, still running in a circle around the island. I contemplated trying to reach the living room but knew he'd catch me for certain if I did.

As we ran around, I managed to step into some of the spilled batter. Sliding a bit I had to right myself from falling, that hesitation was enough for him to catch me, pulling me back in his arms as he spread the cake batter on my lips and down my neck, laughing like a fucking maniac while he did it.

"Mmm...Bella, it seems you made a mess of yourself, want me to clean you up?" he said suggestively, while still laughing heartily.

I was giggling loudly as I turned around to face him. I titled my head sideways, giving more access to my neck and said firmly, calling his bluff, "Get to licking, Cullen."

His eyes got wide, he leaned in and said seductively, "Gladly!"

As he licked my neck, I found myself whimpering. He trailed up to my chin and my face then he finally reached my lips, kissing me soundly.

He pulled me in close for a hug and my arms wound around his neck. I was so caught up in the moment I sighed dreamily, "I love you, Cullen."

Then I froze in his arms. Oh shit, I can't fucking believe I slipped, I wanted to plan this better. I waited for his response nervously. Thankfully, I didn't have to wait long.

Pulling back quickly, he stared into my eyes with a huge, triumphant smile on his face and said joyously, "I adore you, Bella, more than you know. I love you, I love you, I love you."

He kissed me deeply, the kiss tender and gentle, the cake batter now forgotten.

I'd said it, he knew it and my God, he loved me too.

As we stood there in that kitchen on that day, Cullen holding me tightly to him and kissing the side of my neck sweetly, I realized how lucky I was and how much I owed Ben and Angela for everything good and wonderful in my life. If I lived to be a hundred, I vowed I'd never take my life for granted. I had it all. I had a beautiful baby, a wonderful man and his fabulous family. I was complete.

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**A/N~**  
Some fic recommendations.  
They have low reviews, but are ALL excellent stories. You will NOT regret giving them a try! Tell them Billi sent you, when you review of course! **;)**

**My Soul To Save**~ Cullen Concession  
Summary: He used her, hurt her and broke her. Can she break free and let go  
now that her soul has been torn in two? Can a free spirit help her pick up the  
pieces? Warning this piece deals with the issues of abuse.  
www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6963767/1/My_Soul_To_Save

**Just Breathe**~ jtmd24  
Summary: What happens when the man you've loved for 6 years starts to change  
right before your eyes? Bella is forced to question her heart when the black  
sheep of the family returns. In the end, will she put her trust in the right  
person? (Vamp fic but OOC and veryyyyy good)  
www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6844825/1/Just_Breathe

**Land In My Arms**~ LuckyIrishTart  
Summary: A pilot, a flight attendant, a bond with unconventional origins. When  
the thing you're not supposed to feel is inevitable, what delays would you  
fight against to make your connection?  
www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6687950/1/Land_In_My_Arms

**A Handsome Woman~** Winterstale and Viola Cornuta *just a one shot right now*  
AH - collab w/ Viola Cornuta *CO-WINNER JUDGES' CHOICE: Curvaceous and Bodacious Contest* He took her on faith, and, with a pot of shamrock, she traveled to an unknown shore to become his wife. Rated M for future chapters  
www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6901335/1/A_Handsome_Woman


	23. Chapter 23

Thanks to my fabulous betas, GrayMatters and PixieKat7 for all their hard work.

Any and all mistakes you find will be mine.

**fuck count: 53**

(I had a few complaints about the low count over the past few chapters)

Thanks to Nikita2009 for being such a great friend and EXCELLENT pre-reader.

Please consider reading what she writes, you won't be sorry.

Special thanks to Katinki for ALWAYS pre-reading and making small suggestions.

I appreciate your help/friendship more than you'll ever know.

Read her stories, she is phenomenal.

These four people are amazing and I couldn't do this without them!

I've been nominated for some Sunflower Awards, I'm truly humbled and honored.

Thanks to anyone who voted or nominated me.

Voting in The Sunflower awards is still open until the 25th of May. http:/thesunflowerawards[dot]blogspot[dot]com/p/voting[dot]html

**Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight related characters you see below. **

* * *

**EPILOGUE **

NOVEMBER 3, 2011:

Today was Robby's first birthday. Holy crap, I can't believe how fast his first year has gone by and how much has happened; good and bad.

Cullen and I spent the past few months merging our lives together as a family. We took some summer trips, making some fantastic memories for Robby and for ourselves...yeah, apparently sand does not come out of your ass crack very easily. Note to self for future reference.

After returning from one such trip, I was downloading the pictures off my digital camera. Once that was finished and I started viewing them, I came across the one I'd taken the night Ben and Angela had died. I sat in front of the computer in a daze for what seemed like hours. Cullen found me there with tears running down my face and had to physically remove me from the chair. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak. Carlisle and Esme ended up coming over to see if I was all right, and Carlisle spent a long time talking with me to make sure I didn't need a tranquilizer. I was beyond distraught with those sad memories.

That was actually the night I realized Cullen and his family would never choose to leave me. Ever. He held me all night, kissing me gently and sharing in my grief.

The next morning I'd woken up and felt refreshed, like a new woman, like something inside me had been reborn. I made a copy of those pictures and hung them in Robby's room. I wanted him to see his Mom and Dad every day.

Now, today, we were having a big birthday party for Robby, adding to the memories yet again. He was jabbering like a fool, learning new words and sounds every day. He and Cullen had perfected the sound an elephant makes, since I'd found the pictures of our zoo trip and had hung those in his room as well. It was as if the elephant was part of Robby's life. He adored those pictures.

All of that led to Cullen wanting to have a circus themed party for Robby, complete with tuxes and top hats. There were a few kids from Alice's daycare coming, but mostly it was the Cullen family. They were all coming dressed in character.

Alice and Jasper were coming as the snake charmer and the fat lady, since Alice was hugely pregnant with their little girl and was due in three weeks. Rose and Emmett were coming as clowns - again, if the shoe fits and in this case Emmett most assuredly fit the role of a clown very well. Edward wanted to be the ring master of course, I was to be the trapeze artist. I'd found a ballet-style outfit complete with tutu that was just going to have to work. It was going to be hysterical to see Carlisle and Esme, who were carnival barkers, wearing red and white striped jackets and hats. We were having hot dogs, popcorn and peanuts. There were going to be pony rides, cotton candy and a bouncy house too. I told Cullen I felt it was a little over the top for a one-year old, but he argued until he got his way, pointing out to me that all the kids who were actually coming were a lot older than Robby anyway.

I guess sometimes you just have to say _whatever_.

Standing in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on the cup cakes, Robby and Cullen walked in, hand in hand. Robby had been taking small steps lately and with someone holding his hand he could walk fairly well.

"Hey birthday boy! Look at you!" I exclaimed, smiling enthusiastically at Robby, he looked so adorable in his little tux and top hat.

"Hi, Mama," Robby said softly.

He'd started calling Cullen and I Mama and Dada a few months ago so we just let him do it, we'd explain it all in due time.

He gave me a big smile and then looked up at Cullen in adoration. They were inseparable and honestly, in a few years, I was fucked. I know they were going to end up tag-teaming me to get their way with their juju eyes and pouty lips. I could hardly wait (insert sarcasm here).

"Bella, everyone should be here soon, is everything ready? Can I help you with anything?" Cullen asked sweetly as he kissed me on the side of my head.

"Nah, I'm good, it's all set," I answered with a big smile. My boys looked so freaking cute.

"Let me take your picture, okay boys?" I asked.

They posed together with delightful smiles and I snapped their picture.

"Once my Mom and Dad get here, Bella, ask Mom to take some pictures, okay? You need to be in them too and if you're behind the camera all day that isn't going to happen," Cullen said firmly, but with a smile.

At that moment the doorbell rang and he and Robby went out to answer the door. I heard excited voices and then suddenly the house was crowded with Cullens.

They all looked terrific, Robby was mesmerized by Emmett in a clown suit. Not like he wouldn't have been mesmerized regardless, he loved Emmett more than life.

Thirty minutes later the kitchen was full of people, full of fun, full of life. Everyone was enjoying the food and the pony rides. Everything was going great, I had to admit, for a first birthday party it _was _pretty amazing.

I was hustling around, getting the cup cakes ready for the birthday guests with some help from Alice and Rose. As I finished, I heard some commotion behind me but chalked it up to Emmett or Edward being putzes and ignored it. I lit the candle on the birthday boy's cupcake and turned to put it on his high chair. Everyone stood around and sang to Robby and he blew his candle out like we'd practiced, with a little help from me behind him.

As we all clapped, Robby laughed and mimicked us. Esme stood there and took picture after picture. It was adorable.

After the gifts were all opened, the party ended and it was just us left with the family. Cullen asked his mom if she'd mind taking a picture of him, Robby and me to commemorate Robby's first birthday.

We stood there together, the three of us with Robby in the middle, me holding him and he and Cullen wearing their top hats.

We got into position with happy smiles on our faces. "Say cheese!" Esme said brightly.

"Wait, wait, there seems to be something missing from this picture Esme," Carlisle said suddenly, with a frown on his face as he interrupted the photo op.

Alice, Jasper, Rose and Emmett all nodded their agreement. What the fuck? I was confused as hell.

"What in the world could possibly be missing? I mean come on, we've got the birthday boy, Cullen in a tux and top hat and me looking like a trapeze artist, what more do we need?" I asked, my brows raised in confusion.

"Oh! I know!" Cullen exclaimed loudly. Then he turned toward me and Robby and dropped to one knee in front of us.

Holy shit! No fucking way! There was no way this was happening!

I heard Alice squeal then and I knew. I knew without a doubt what was going down.

"Bella, I love you, I've loved you since I watched you try to throw a dart and fail," Cullen started softly, his face full of happiness and a warm smile on his lips. I heard Emmett snort in the background.

The blood started rushing through my head rapidly, I swear I could hear it swooshing inside my brain. My pulse seemed to be in my ears, pounding loudly as I slapped my hand across my mouth in denial, my eyes filling with tears.

"I love our life, I love how wonderful you are with Robby, I want that with you for the rest of our lives. I want to add to our family. I want you every day of forever. Bella Swan, will you marry me?" he asked with a flourish, pulling a box out of his pocket, opening it quickly to show me the most gorgeous solitaire diamond ring I'd ever seen.

Looking at Cullen, his own eyes full of tears yet shining with hope for our future, I knew he was my destiny.

Robby was going crazy in my arms, Rose ran over quickly to take him as I heard Esme clicking away madly with the camera.

My tears of joy spilled over, cascading down my cheeks. I stood there, staring back into the gorgeous sea green eyes I'd learned to love and knew without a doubt, this was where I was supposed to be.

"Yes! Of course, yes! I love you too, Cullen, yes I'll marry you!" I exclaimed as the family that surrounded us with love, exploded into cheers. This was the way I was going to be living the rest of my life and I honestly couldn't wait to begin.

He slid the ring on my finger and stood up, pulling me to him for a long, delicious kiss. I could hear the family oohing and ahhing behind us, Emmett was hooting loudly and Alice was squealing and clapping her hands together in joy.

"I love you, Bella, I really love you, thanks for making me the happiest, absolute luckiest man alive," he said sweetly, between small kisses on my cheeks and lips.

"No. Thank you. Thank you for your love, for your family and for not giving up on me, I love you so much," I said emotionally. My eyes were still full of tears and my heart was still beating madly.

Taking a deep breath, I thought of my best friends, how happy they'd be if they were here and how happy I was. Looking around the room, I realized I now had more than I ever thought I would. Cullen and his family were mine, we had Robby, now my circle was bigger and I could be fulfilled like Ben and Ang had always wanted.

The End

* * *

**A/N~**  
I want to fucking thank you ALL so fucking much for taking this fucking ride with me.  
The fucking reviews, all the fucking support and the fucking hysterical times I've gotten to fucking share with you all. Your fucking thoughts about how fucking awesome Cullen fucking was, fuck, it just is so fucking incredible. Really, no fucking words, just fuck yeah!

So fucking grateful to my fucking grammar nazi betas, fucking Gray and Kat. Without those fucking two women fucking helping me, it's fucking possible the entire fucking story may have just fucking been the fucking word "fuck" over and fucking over. Can you fucking imagine? Fuck, that would fucking have fucking sucked. Fuck!

So fucking happy these fucking characters got their fucking happy fucking ending. I fucking bet you fucking are too.

Fucking incredible fucking experience. I can't fucking believe it is fucking over.  
By the way, I've fucking got a fucking one shot planned for fucking June. Put me on fucking alert, but fucking remember, I say fuck a fucking lot.  
(actually, there may not be a single uttered fuck in the whole fucking new fucking story...damn)

Ape, was that enough "fucks" for you my friend?

Okay, silly A/N is over now. I hope you all giggled, that was my intent.  
Thanks for reading, really, I mean it from the bottom of my heart.


	24. Chapter 24

Hello there! I hope everyone has had an incredible fun filled summer! I wanted to send this out letting you know what's going on with me.

Just a couple of things:

1. I'm beyond thrilled to announce that A Shock to the System has been nominated for fic of the week over at the Lemonade Stand. I'd love it if anyone might want to drop in and give me a vote. I have no illusions of winning, there are some spectacular stories over there, but, I'd love to not be last! ;)  
Even if you don't vote for me, the Lemonade Stand is an excellent place to find some amazing stories and is run by some incredible people. Also my fabulous pre-reader, Katinki, is nominated for her awesome story, An Angry Man. Give her some love as well, if you don't mind!  
tehlemonadestand(dot)blogspot(dot)com

2. I'm working on a future take for A Shock to the System along with a 3 chapter story that is really fun, that is almost done. However, my husband was hurt at work and is having surgery in a few weeks. Him being here is putting a real damper on my writing so I figure all that will be coming your way around the end of October. I appreciate all your continued support.

Looking forward to seeing you all soon, and thanks in advance for any vote you give! Y'all are awesome!

Billi Cullen


	25. Chapter 25Future Take

Thanks to my fabulous betas, GrayMatters and PixieKat7 for all their hard work.

Any and all mistakes you find will be mine. Honest.

Fuck count: a VERY reasonable 12

Thanks to Katinki and Nikita2009 for being my pre-readers, I appreciate it so much.

This is dedicated to Bobby Dupea and Nehnah14.

Thanks to you both!

Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight related characters you see below.

The words are mine.

* * *

**Future Take~ Three Years Later**

**EPOV**

My God. I was never going to be able to feel the fingers of my left hand again. I was fairly certain there was no blood left in them whatsoever.

My fingers were pulsing, desperate for release from the hellish prison they were currently in. Unsure how to handle the prospect of getting them undone, I looked up at Alice for support.

She stared at me, eyes wide, as I gave my head a slight twitch and motioned with my eyes to my bloodless fingers currently being held in a death grip by my laboring wife. With a faint shake of Alice's head, I knew I'd need to ride the current labor pain out, hands be damned.

Taking a deep breath I leaned over Bella and whispered in her ear how well she was doing and how much I loved her. As the current labor pain ended, she smiled at me and let go of my poor hand.

"Oh, man, that one hurt," she said shakily on an exhale.

There was sweat along her hairline and her face was covered in a light sheen of it as well. Frankly, to me, she'd never been more beautiful than at this moment. The fact that she was bringing our first child together into this world made her a saint in my eyes. Men could never deal with this shit. I resolved right then that if I lost any fingers, it was a small price to pay. At least I didn't have to squeeze a baby out of my body.

"Bella, do you want some ice chips?" Alice asked sweetly.

"Yes, please, Alice," my gorgeous wife answered.

My wife, my love, my life. The fact that she was mine in the first place, was a true miracle. Thanks to Ben and Ang and their meddling, even after they passed away. I'd love them forever.

Our lives together for the last three years had been eventful. Full of ups and downs, Robbie being a blessing through it all.

After getting married the summer after Robbie turned one, we'd become even closer than we thought possible. Our unique little family unit meant more to me than I ever expected.

As Robbie grew and met more milestones, Bella and I knew we wanted to add to our family. We started trying when Robbie turned two and managed to get pregnant right away, much to the delight of my parents. Bella had a normal pregnancy, other than the fact that she'd grown rather large the last month, making it hard for her to get around and keep up with Robbie, who was a handful and a half. That boy was into everything. He was such fun and so excited for a new brother or sister.

We'd decided not to find out the sex of the baby, wanting everything to be as exciting as possible. The only dilemma was a name. If the baby was a girl, she was going to be called Claire Angela and if it was a boy...well let's just say, we didn't agree on a boy name.

I wanted Liam Benjamin. Bella, yeah, she wanted William Benjamin. Of course, she wanted to call him Billy. Damn that Billy Idol. We'd better not have a boy.

The swoosh of the door opening and a nurse coming in to check Bella brought me out of my daydream.

"How're you feeling, Bella," the nurse asked as she looked at the monitor readings.

"Okay... a little crampy and the last contraction was a lot worse than the earlier ones," Bella said softly.

"Well, honey, it's just beginning so batten down the hatches," the nurse said with a laugh.

What? What the hell was so funny? She wasn't the one who was going to lose her fucking fingers. I was!

"Listen, hon, when you're ready for the epidural you let me know and I'll send the anesthesiologist down to get you set up," the nurse offered after checking to see how far Bella was dilated.

"You're dilated to four and a half, no epidural until you're at least at a five. But, since Dave has a couple of ladies before you, we can get you on the list now and by the time he gets here, you should be good to go," she explained.

Bella had wanted to go natural, I however, didn't want to watch her in that kind of pain. I'd told her it was all up to her.

"Cullen, do you mind? Would you be disappointed if I decided I wanted an epidural after all?" she asked, looking sadly into my eyes.

"Babe, I told you, I don't want you in pain. It's hard for me to watch. Do what you want, I don't mind at all," I said gently, rubbing her arm softly.

Looking back at the nurse she nodded and told her to add her to the list.

Things progressed rather quickly after that. Damn.

Less than an hour later, Bella was laboring quite hard, her contractions three minutes apart and that damn anesthesiologist had yet to come into the room.

"Breathe, Bella, breathe," I told her, as another contraction hit.

"FUCK YOU, CULLEN! YOU BREATHE! I wanna go hoooooooooooome!" she ground out spitefully.

"Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave," she chanted, her voice raspy, her head thrashing.

"Bella, sweetie, who is Dave?" Alice asked cautiously, her brow raised in question, looking back and forth between Bella and I. I had no clue who Dave was, so I gave Alice a quick shrug of my shoulders.

"Dave is my savior, Alice. He is going to fucking walk into this room and save my sorry ass from feeling any more pain," Bella said, sighing as the contraction ended.

Ahhh, that's right - Dave the anesthesiologist, the one who would help my girl with the pain, I thought gratefully.

"Sorry for saying fuck you, Cullen, I didn't mean it, you know that right?" Bella said, looking at me guiltily.

"It's okay, I know, I know. Say what you need to say, I'll survive," I offered, smiling while kissing her forehead gently.

Her face suddenly clenched up again as yet another labor pain bore down on her.

"Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave," she started chanting again.

I wasn't feeling so grateful now. As a matter of fact,I was feeling kind of left out, I mean why couldn't she chant my name?

My hand, in another death grip, was aching like crazy, I was thinking I may not be able to type again. How would I write my stories for the paper? Fucking hell, she was killlllling me!

The nurse came back in as the contraction ended and had Bella get into position for checking her progress.

"Dave is on his way Bella, he can hear you calling him," the nurse giggled.

"You're dilated to a six now, he'll come in and get you comfortable and then we can get things started," the nurse offered.

Right then, a man about my height came strolling into the room, smiling like the Cheshire cat. HIs wide smile and mirth-filled eyes made him look like your long lost buddy. Too bad he was bald. Hmphf!

"Did I hear you calling my name?" he said gleefully. This guy liked his job far too fucking much.

"Oh, thank God you're here," Alice said.

What? Alice was rubbing Bella on the back, not losing her fingers. Why did she get to be that happy about the guy coming in the room?

"Oh Dave, you are going to be my new best friend and you don't even know it! I might even name my baby after you if it's a boy," Bella said, smiling and frankly, kind of flirting.

The hell she'll name the baby Dave. Not if I have anything to say about it!

"Whoa now, let's not get ahead of ourselves here," I said, raising my eyebrow and giving her the what-the-fuck look.

She started to smile at me, then another pain came on. She was grimacing faster than I could blink.

"Ooooooh, it's here again... oh hurry, Dave, hurry!" she ground out.

She reached to me and grabbed my hand in that death grip while I looked up at Dave.

"Yes! Let's hurry Dave," I said sarcastically, my eyes narrowing in on him as he got to work readying her for the epidural.

He explained how it worked, put her into position and then began his job.

All this during a contraction that my fingers swore would never end.

"There ya go! You should be right as rain soon enough," he said joyfully.

He gave her a pat on the hip as he started to clean things up.

"I don't know that anyone has ever chanted my name before, Bella, I'm so honored," he joked.

"Well, Dave, it's official. You're my new best friend." she said succinctly.

Alice giggled and Bella winked up at me while I continued to stare daggers at this Dave guy.

He finally left, promising to come and see his possible namesake after the baby was born.

Yeah, over my dead body, dude.

Less than thirty minutes later, Bella was really having close contractions and the nurse had gone to get Dr. Denali so she could start pushing.

As the doctor entered the room, Bella started having yet another contraction. It was so intense, I could tell by her face. I wanted that fucker, Dave, to get his ass back in here and make my wife feel better. Hell even I might let her name the baby after him if he could make it happen.

"Bella, you're doing great, I promise, it's going fast. The baby will be here before we know it," I said, smoothing her hair away from her face and kissing her softly on her cheek.

"Cullen! Get the fuck away from my face! You have such bad breath! Oh my God, did you have a fucking cheeseburger?" she screamed, her eyes wide with indignation.

Groaning, suddenly she looked at me apologetically and then started crying.

"I don't know why I'm being so bitchy!" she sniffled, tears rolling out from the corners of her eyes.

"It's okay, babe, I know you don't mean it," I said, rubbing her arm gently.

"Okay Bella, let's see if you're able to push this baby out now," the doctor said excitedly, as she looked at Bella for a moment.

"Okay, I'm ready," Bella said firmly, grabbing my hand as another pain gripped her.

"Okay Bella, I want you to push when I say push," the doctor ordered as Alice and I lined up on either side of Bella to pull her legs back toward her chest and help her along.

"Here we go, Bella, push!"

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten," Alice and I counted.

"Good, good, now again," Dr. Denali ordered. We repeated this three times during this contraction.

"You're doing great, I can see the baby's head crowning, lots of hair," Dr. Denali offered as she motioned for me to come and look.

Leaning over, I saw what appeared to be hair and head resting against Bella's vagina.

Fuck me, I was having a baby! I started to feel light-headed.

Dr. Denali looked at me, rolled her eyes and told me to go up and give my wife a kiss.

Before I could do what she asked, Bella started contracting again.

We repeated the steps as before, only this time, when Dr. Denali told Bella she did good... well.

"Good? Fuck that! I swear to God, every time I push, the baby feels like it comes back inside and out my throat! Fuck, good!"

And again, apologies abounded after she calmed down. This was a wild damn ride! Shit, I loved my wife.

The contractions came steadily, and finally out popped the baby's head. I peeked down in time to see the doctor suction its nose and mouth, it was amazing. A full head of hair, it looked reddish brown.

"Babe, oh my God, the head is out!" I said to Bella excitedly as I kissed her lips.

"Get the fuck away from me, Cullen, that's how I got into this mess. I'm never having sex again, I'm never doing this again, don't ever ask me to, oh my God! I need to push!" she screamed at me.

"Okay, Bella, gently push, we need to get the shoulders out, we don't want this baby flying across the room, right?" Dr. Denali said calmly.

I don't have any freaking clue how she stayed so calm. I wanted to jump up and down and pass out at the same time.

Bella gave a push while groaning the most intense growl I'd ever heard.

"Okay, stop, stop pushing, the cord is wrapped around the baby, we don't want it to choke," the doctor said.

"Okay, we're clear. You ready for the final push so you can meet your baby?" she asked.

Bella looked at me, smiled and then her face screwed up into the fiercest face I'd ever seen. She pushed and then, BAM! The world exploded around us!

The baby was out, the doctor squealed excitedly that it was a boy and Bella burst into tears.

As they put him in her arms and we looked down at him, I was overcome with emotion.

I was kissing her, crying like a baby and Alice was clapping her hands and saying over and over that she just knew it was a boy.

Bella lay there, watching me cry and then reached up with her hand to wipe my tears.

"Why are you crying, Edward?" she asked softly, her own eyes alight with unshed tears.

"Bella, I love you so much, I think I'm the luckiest sap on the face of the earth. I'm so happy," I said gently, while I kissed her forehead.

"Would you like to cut the cord, Edward?" Dr. Denali asked me.

I looked at Bella and she nodded, so I went and grabbed the special scissors and started to cut the cord. It felt almost like a garden hose. Weird and slightly creepy.

A nurse came over and took the baby so they could weigh and measure him and Alice headed out to tell everyone the news.

Looking back toward Bella I said, "I'm gonna go over with them while they check him out, okay?"

She nodded and I walked over to where they were wiping him off.

"He weighs seven pounds and four ounces and he is twenty-one inches long," the nurse said.

He was crying, screaming really. It did something to my insides. I needed to hold him. Now.

The nurse wrapped him up in a blanket after she diapered him and handed him to me.

I looked down into that little wrinkled face and fell in a love on a whole other level. I loved Robbie, he was my son, I loved this baby too. There is just something about witnessing a birth, miracle doesn't quite cover it.

"Hello there," I cooed, as I walked toward Bella.

He suddenly stopped crying, looked right into my eyes and stole my heart and soul.

"Let's go see your Momma, okay, little one?" I said, my emotions getting the best of me as I choked back tears again.

When I got to the bed, Bella was sitting up and the doctor was finishing up.

"Oh, Edward, look at his hair!" Bella exclaimed, running her hand along the top of his head lightly.

"It looks like yours! I love it!"

I handed him off to her and he automatically nuzzled toward her breast. It was amazing how instinctual babies were. She pulled her gown down and brought him to her breast. He latched right on and she looked up at me in amazement.

"Look, look how smart he is," she said, tears flowing freely down her face.

Looking down in awe, I leaned over and kissed her passionately.

"So, what's it gonna be, what's his name? Please say you were joking about Dave," I said, bemusedly.

"Well, I know you really liked Liam... so …" she sputtered.

"Bella, you just labored to give birth for like nine hours. We can name him whatever you want, honestly I'm good with whatever," I offered. I was serious. She could call him whatever she wanted, as long as it wasn't Dave.

"Well, if you really don't mind, I did have my heart set on William Benjamin," she said, looking up through her long eyelashes at me with those beautiful doe eyes.

Smiling, I ran my hand along her face gently, then looked at the baby and said, "Welcome to the world, Billy."

**~A/N~**

ALL the stuff Bella said during labor, including chanting Dave, Dave, Dave, was said by me while I was laboring with my kids. Yes, I am nuts.


	26. Chapter 26

Hello everyone!

I'm sorry to say that this is not an update or future take for A Shock to the System.

I AM, however, thrilled to tell you that I was asked to contribute a story for the Fandom For Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I've written a one shot called, The Salesman. It's a fun romp through a shoe store. I think you'll enjoy it. That said, the way to get to read it is by donating to this wonderful cause.

The link is: fandom4lls blogspot com

Donations are down this year, I'm not sure why because there are so many fantastic authors who are contributing outakes, one shots and future shots. It's a terrific cause and one I know touches a lot of you personally. I lost a dear friend last October to cancer and I always try to give to any cancer causes I can. This may be the only one that gives you something back.

Please consider it, and if you do, I really hope you love reading The Salesman as much as I loved writing it!

Thanks,

Billi Cullen


End file.
